Duskwood: the man behind the mask

4. Back to point 0

I reassured my friends as best I could and turned off the phone. I needed some alone time to process my thoughts, and their questions about my argument with Jake or their opinions about whether or not I should go to Duskwood wouldn't help.

On the other hand, my back pain was already on the verge of going crazy, my ribs were throbbing and the air I was breathing was very hot coming through my nose. I can't believe I'm going to get sick right now... I looked for the thermometer and yes, I had a fever. Just great.

I decided that wasn't going to stop me anyway, so I bundled up and left the house. There was a pharmacy right on the corner of my street, and walking there would surely do me good, at least I would breathe fresh air.

Along the way, I tried to mentally go over everything I'd need to go to Duskwood. I wasn't going to be in town for long, and I wouldn't even think about staying with one of my friends. It would be very suspicious and the kidnapper or the police could quickly connect the dots. That would be dangerous for both me and them, so the motel was the best option... Will there be a Chinese restaurant across the street?

Shit, I was thinking about Jake again.

It hurt to remember, but I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to him and to every conversation we had in the past, those few times when he allowed himself to converse with me about anything other than our investigation. 

Whenever we finished speaking, I reread each of his words over and over again with a thousand butterflies fluttering in my stomach. And that time, when he told me about the Chinese restaurant, subtly implying that he would like to ask me out on a date, I couldn't sleep imagining what it would be like. He always cared about me, he always show me that I was special to him... Was it really a lie?

"I don't like you in that way". That's what he said?

I felt the same prick in my heart and hated myself for being such a fool. If he told the truth, it meant that he was manipulating me the whole time, giving me false hope to fulfill his purposes. Could he really be that cynical? No, something inside me refused to believe that... So, did he lie? And what for? To protect me again?

A wave of outrage completely shook me. If he lied, it means that he is a coward who didn't take the time to get to know me and put himself in my shoes. He can't put me at risk? I know all this is dangerous, and I accept it. Why this insane insistence on keeping me safe? Did he ever think about how that makes me feel? Like a stupid child who needs to be saved all the time. I'm here because I want to, I understand what's at stake and I'm willing to face it. I'm not five fucking years old!

A familiar voice pulled me out of my thoughts: "Are you sick?"

I was surprised for a moment and looked around me. I had already arrived at the pharmacy and I hadn't even noticed. There was a small line of people, and in front of me, a young man leaned with a worried expression: my neighbor.

He had moved in a while ago and lived in the apartment next door. From time to time I would see him sitting on his terrace, next to mine, and he had an aura of serenity and mystery that managed to attract my attention. More than once I'd wondered if Jake would be like this, he gave me that kind of vibe, but I always dismissed the idea: I knew Jake well enough to know that he would never move that close to me because of his visceral fear of putting me in danger.

I had only spoken to my neighbor once, and not more than a few words, but I had really liked his soft, deep voice. Maybe that's why I remembered it so well. I even knew his name because it was next to mine in the building's mailboxes: Gabriel St. Clair.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?"

He kept looking at me with the same worried face, and I realized that once again I had been carried away by my thoughts.