𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙚 || dream x oc

3

*𝟯 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽*

-- 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗽𝗼𝘃 --

I hadn't heard much from Meredith since I left in the morning after I crashed there. She had warned me that she'd be preoccupied, so I tried not to worry about her. She wasn't exactly the best at taking care of herself when she got so busy like this, and it always made me nervous. Especially considering the fact that she lived alone and if something happened it could be a while before I or anyone else found her. I hated that she lived alone, and I hoped she'd at least take up my trial period offer while she found a new place, but I knew she probably wouldn't. She was too independent.

I spent the next few days cleaning up my house and making sure I had the guest rooms ready for the boys. I also washed the dozens of articles of clothing that Meredith had left at my place so she'd have clothes here if she ended up staying over while the boys were here. I didn't want to press her about moving in while the guys were here, but I really hoped she'd consider it. She was wasting money on that little apartment and I had more than enough room for her at my house. We were constantly together during our free time anyway, so it made more sense for her to just move in. As I cleaned, I couldn't help but let my mind wander to Nick and George's little crush on her.

I didn't want to admit it, but the way that George and Nick were talking to and about her was pissing me off a little. We weren't dating, and there were no feelings there, but I expected the boys to have a little bit more decorum. What if I did secretly like her? I would never make a move on their best friend even if they swore up and down that they didn't have feelings for them. I knew this whole thing would only get worse once they got here too and saw how beautiful she was. Keeping boys off of her was essentially my full-time job anyway, but to have to try to pry her away from my friends would be difficult. 

I'd said that I'd be cool if George made a move, but that was a lie. I didn't want either of them talking to her like that. If it ended poorly, I'd inevitably take Meredith's side and it would be a disaster for most of my online friendships because of how interconnected everyone in the community was. I also wasn't convinced that either of them would actually understand her or see past the surface. She had a lot more going on than people realized and very few people made the effort to really get to know her and I wasn't sure that either of them would. Not necessarily because they wouldn't try, but because she was so good at hiding parts of herself from people. Most people who knew her assumed that because she was smart, pretty, and all-around a great person, she couldn't possibly have any struggles or issues. She never wanted to burden people with her "drama" (as she called it) so she held it in and acted like everything was all fine and dandy. The charade even worked on me sometimes and I knew her better than anyone. 

I knew they'd tease me about liking her too. Everyone did. Even our moms were convinced we'd end up married someday, which truly nauseated the both of us. I didn't understand why everyone wanted to see us together so badly. I knew that if we were to date and it didn't crash and burn within the first week that we probably would work out really well. We were soulmates in a certain sense, but it wasn't worth the risk. If we did crash and burn, it would ruin our friendship -- or at the very least permanently alter it -- and I didn't want that. Meredith was my only real friend from our school years and she knew me better than any other person on this planet -- even my mom. She knew more about me than I knew about myself, and vice versa. 

There'd been a few drunken nights where I almost kissed her to really prove that there was no romantic connection there, but I knew that would probably end poorly. I was scared to even really think about her like that. I couldn't jeopardize our friendship and I didn't really want to. There was also something else that held me back, but I could never really identify it. Crushing anxiety made me go deaf and blind for a few moments whenever I thought about kissing her. I wanted to believe it was self-preservation, but I knew that probably wasn't it.