The portrait overthought

"We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

Well it's been a long since we met
I was hoping we never cross paths
You have caused a lot of trauma as I was still a child
And now when I ask you why, you say
"We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

You laugh at every word I speak,
Every word I utter was met by your spit
And you did so till your spit met my tears
And now when I ask you why,
you say"We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

You critiqued me for my figure, race and face
When I come to play you kick me to another place
For I seemed weak and pale to your eyes
And yet when I ask you why, you say, 
"We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

You made me go without friends for years
You made teachers give me a deaf ear
You made me cry alone under my blanket
And when I ask you why, you say,"
We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

Why did I cry under my blanket?
Because you made me regret
Every single tear I shed, since "boys don't cry"
Now when I ask you why, you say
"We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

Of course, we were kids
We couldn't tell that a person is sad because they are crying
We couldn't tell that a person is hurt because they are bleeding
We couldn't understand the words "please stop" meant we had to stop
We were just kids, we didn't know anything, did we?

Now here I am...
With high levels of social anxiety,
With high levels of depression
Which haunt in my dreams and every object I see
And all of this happened because
You were just a kid, you didn't know anything

People call me weird
People call me obnoxious
People call me a loner
People avoid meAnd all of this happened because,
You were just a kid, you didn't know anything

I am sorry but that doesn't fix me.
I have reached beyond repair
While you were laughing at my despair
And all this happened because
I was a kid, I couldn't do anything

I act weird because I don't know what I am other than your childhood toy
I am a loner now because you were the one who threw me after playing
I act obnoxious because all I ever had was was your filthy spit
I guess it's my fault because
I was just a kid, I couldn't do anything.

But I hope you are proud of me now,
I can put a smile on my face when I am dead from inside
I can make people laugh when my soul hasn't smiled in years
I don't cry anymore, I let the rivers flow within my broken self because
You played me like a toy and a toy shouldn't break 

You say "People won't know your worth if you fake"
But, you never tried to understand my worth,
You made me even forget my own worth,
Since you ignored my feelings so much that–
I started to ignore mine as well...

I still the wounds you left in me,
The heals outside have healed well,
But what will do for the wounds inside??
Even if I ask you and all you would say is
"We were just kids, we didn't know anything"

Don't worry, I won't ask you,
You wouldn't help me here
But trust me, I am scared of you, because
We were just kids and we didn't know anything
But you showed me everything

I am the result of your game
I am the failure of your successful pranks
Did I look like a toy to you then?
Did you expect me to forgive you, after all, you have done to me?
I am sorry but your actions aren't validated if you say
"We were kids, we didn't know anything"

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