Life Goes On

16

Rachel POV
I wake up slowly regaining conscience of my surroundings. I'm now in Marshalls room feeling his arm around my waist. I feel his naked body next to my own. My eyes shot open and I quickly sit up. Shit! We had sex!

"You good?" Marshall asks me with his raspy sleepy voice. My guilt kicks in even more as I turn around to look at him.

"I gotta go" I say getting up from the bed in search for my clothes.

"Relax, it's only like 7am" He says.

"It's the morning? Fuck I'm missing work right now!" I say now panicking.

"Yo chill the fuck out it's fuckin Saturday" Marshall says laughing.

"Oh... but I need to go home still" I say calming down.

"Why?" He now asks. He gets up and pulls on some sweatpants.

"I shouldn't be here. We shouldn't have slept together" I say bluntly. I see him looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"You regret it?" He asks sounding hurt.

"I don't regret it I just hope this doesn't mess up our friendship" I say truthfully.

"We can never just be friends and you know it" He mumbles walking out of his bedroom. I follow after him quickly.

"I know but I'm still technically in a relationship" I say. My guilt comes rushing back to my nerves.

"Well I seriously doubt that after that phone call" He says with a chuckle.

"Oh my god! I have to call Jesse and apologize to him. I didn't want us to break up like this. I wanted it to be as peaceful as possible" I say.

"Fuck him, he doesn't deserve you" Marshall says looking at me.

"And you do" I say jokingly.

"Yeah I do. I had you first" He says sounding serious. I giggle at him.

"Actually he had me first...sexually" I say laughing.

"Motherfucker...I knew I should have fucked when we first met" He says smirking.

"Well I wouldn't have done that anyway" I say seriously.

"Yeah... you've never been that type of bitch. I like that about you" He says looking at me.

"I can't sleep with people unless I love them" I say genuinely.

"Wait... you love me?" Marshall asks looking hopeful. I quickly realize what I just said.

"I- I have love for you yeah, I can't say that I'm IN love with you though" I say looking at him. He just nods at me.

"I'm gonna step out real quick to call Jess" I say searching for my phone in my purse.

"What do you want" Jesse says. He answered pretty quickly for someone who's mad.
"Look... I'm so sorry about that phone call yesterday. That was extremely disgusting for you to hear. I don't know what happened I guess I was—"I say before Jesse interrupts me.
"Caught up in the moment? Rachel I assumed we were done when you kicked me out but I had hope. That phone call crushed me in ways you will never understand. I didn't know you could do something so low. I guess you truly never know someone until they show you, and you showed me Rachel. You showed me who you really are. I'll come get the rest of my shit and I'm out. I never want to see you ever again" Jesse says. He hangs up before I even have the chance to consider what he said.

I look down at my phone to see he really hung up. I feel disgusting. I'm not heartbroken because I feel out of love a long while back but I feel guilt. His words hit deep, deep enough for me to remember exactly what he said. I felt my eyes begin to tear up. I wasn't sad, I was feeling guilt. Guilty for the way our relationship crashed these last few months.

"You alright?" Marshall asks peeping his head in from the doorway.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good" I say.

"Don't feel guilty for doing what you want"

"I know, I feel relieved that I'm not with him anymore. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders"

"That's good baby. He didn't deserve you no way" Marshall say placing his hands on my waist. I place my hands on his pulling them off. He looks at me confused.

"I need time Marsh. I need time to heal before I get involved with you" I say.

"I never said I wanted to get involved" He says coldly.

"Then why am I here? Why have you been treating me like I'm the one you want? You told me you still loved me." I say looking at him.

"I do love you. Let's just wait though. I'm busy, and you'll be to if you're going on tour with me" He says.

"So what is this then? We don't need to be in a serious relationship but I don't want you with other women" I say seriously. He glances up at me.

"I can't promise you that I won't be tempted by other women especially when we're not together like that" He says truthfully.

"Ok fine but don't trip if I'm out here fuckin random guys" I tell him. He looks at me with a huge smile on his face.

"You don't even do that so shut up" He says laughing.

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