A few days had passes since the incident..He didn t do shit all this time..Just cried alot,wrote fake letters to vlad either apologizing or talking to him..then use them as fuel for the fire.
He barely had enough energy to bring food home..It wasn t..something difficult,the cathastrophy was taken cared of quite well by the athorithies..Almost no danger of dying..Surprising since Arstotzka never took care of their people...
..He needes to go back home ..
You need to go back home..
,,-i-.."he propped his head against the door frame ,,-i..i can t and you know that..how could i go empty handed?"
..you re not empty handed..you still have your..Y know..that
,,-..the gun?"
Y-..yea..
..You can bring that home,they ll love it!
..unfortunately..He sights
,,-...You haven t been tgere in a long time..You don t know how it is now.."
...It can t be that bad!.."
,,-....You don t have any ideea about what you re talking about!"
I do,actually,i have been there!..With you!..I was your friend.
,,-...Well you re not anymore so just shut the hell up.I do not need your coments or opinions.Just do you narrator job and shut the fuck up."
...Oh,fuck you.
,,-Fuck me,then! Oh wait,you can t,you re dead!"..he aighted again ,,i don t have the energy for this"
He got up and started packing his things.He was on board with me..he knew he had to go back.
...tho
,,-..what now?"
..You really don t want to see ...your sunshine?
,,-..He..broke up with me.indirectly."
..He didn t said that
,,-Indirectly,Hilton-...!"
...
...You haven t said their name...Why reveal mine?
,,-I-..I m sorry,i disn t mean to!..you were just..close to me and i remembere-"
Should i reveal to vladimir s narator your actual name!? Or your home town or what are you doing to survive?!"
,,-I-..I said sory!"
..As soon as i died you wanted me as a narrator to ask me shit and have an actual old friend to be as your narrrator ...it took me a while to take his spot but I did if..And now you fucked everything up.
,,-..Please don t send him back,i..i don t like him..He..makes me so insecure..a..and..he doubts myself and..I know he...probably loves me but i can t feel it!..It feels like nothing,i m begging you!"
...Stop begging..wipe your tears..You know i hate to see you..be in this position.
,,-..."
...I know you hate him for the fact that..he tried to make you someone else..and opress you.
I know you hate him for..the things he had done
I know you rather die then..Get him back.
,,-I-...I want to be a better person..i really..really do!..I...i make so many mistakes..it s so h-hard to..Act like a tota failure and to be a total failure and-"
..calm down..wipe your tears,you re getting the floor wet..You know you workes hard to keep this place clean..
,,-I-..it s just so much a.and i have to act l-like this..Perfect..person so i w-won t be eatten alive agaib by them!"
..i know hiral
,,-.a..and...I have to be perfect,i have to make them proud..i.."
..calm down,you re gonna have a panick atack..you remember how those go
,,-I-..I can t do this anymore!"
..he..fell to the ground..starting to cry a river of tears..he couldn t stop he needes to continue..
..He felt all of his heavy mistakes on his back..he felt all the trauma from.the past,all the pride he needes to have..
..after what felt like hours,he finally calmed down and started mumbling
,,-i..i m..a bad person..I m..I m not the best inventor i..i am a liar..and..a prick..And..a failure and a thief and ..i distance everyone in my life!...i..i m so alone because of myself..i..could had..vladimir..a..and you,o..old friend..a.and maybe that..fucking general..yet..i make so..so many mistales..and i act like i m the best person ever lived!.."
...his voice was trembling..his knees were hurting from how much he stood on them..his head hurt and his eyes were soaked in tears vecayse of how much he cried..
...I ll..Take care of him.
