Love Is Pain

😌🥺

It's been 2 weeks now & I haven't really seen much of Jonathan. Maybe it's because of our fight, maybe it's because of the job I chose...I don't know. I'm a substitute teacher at a private school about an hour away

Shanté: *walks in the room* Oh. *closes the door* ..hey.

Jonathan: *looks at her* Hey.

We look at each other in awkward silence as if we both were 2 middle school kids that have undying love for each other & we just found out from our friends. A part of me wants to turn around & walk out the room & pretend this never happened but the other part wants to stay & have the awkward conversation that's bound to happen

Jonathan: ...you're off early.

Shanté: Yeah. ...we had early release. What about you? I thought you go to work at 1 now.

Jonathan: Today I go in at 5.

Shanté: Oh.

I continue to awkwardly stand in front of the door not knowing what to do. I don't know how much of this awkward silence I can take. He broke the last awkward silence so I guess it's my turn to break it

Shanté: ...can we stop fighting?

Jonathan: I would love that.

I slightly smile at the words I've been waiting to hear since the day the argument started

Jonathan: Can I ask you a question? & answer it honestly.

My smile slowly disappears & my pulse quickens. I hate questions that start off like that & yeah I should be used to being honest with him but I don't want to upset him if I say the wrong thing

Shanté: ...sure.

Jonathan: Why'd you choose that job?

Shanté: Because I like teaching.

Jonathan: Yeah but it clashes with my schedule. Now we never see each other. I really only see you when you're sleep.

Shanté: ...the schedule is flexible.

Jonathan: What?

Shanté: I don't have to work everyday. I choose to.

Jonathan: Why?

Shanté: Because you're always at work or school. I feel like you love work more than you love me so I thought that it'd be better for me to keep myself busy.

Jonathan: *sighs* Come here.

Shanté: *goes to him*

He grabs my hand & pulls me on top of him. I almost forgot what it was like having his body against mine

Jonathan: I don't love anything more than I love you. You know that.

Shanté: I used to...

Jonathan: I only work so much because I want to be able to provide for you. I want to have enough money to support you enough to where you don't have to ever work a day in your life.

Shanté: You know I'm always going to want to work. I hate not having anything to do.

Jonathan: I see that.

Shanté: *softly chuckles*

Jonathan: How about I talk to my boss & take the weekends off?

Shanté: You would do that for me?

Jonathan: I'd do anything for you.

He softly kisses me & I look into his eyes & smile as I gently caress his face. He starts to kiss me with such strong passion...the passion that I've been missing for the past 2 weeks. I allow the feeling of satisfaction to take over knowing now that we've made up. He slowly glides his hands from my thighs to the inside of my shirt around my waist. The feeling of his warm, rough hands on my skin reminds me of how much I missed him. Our breathing gets heavier & I start to slowly grind on him. He unbuttons my pants & puts his hands in them before he stops kissing me