When the whole world shut down 2019 - ???

Chapter four part 1

A/N This chapter will be divided into two different parts because there is happening so much, just easier that way :-)

February 2020

KAITLYN IS PREGNANT! And my cancer is getting worse day by day. Yesterday when we collided on the street in front of the home, she told me those lovely baby news. She said that had just been told news for Gus. She told me that he was happy. Well that not my business, was needless to tell for me! Maybe Kaitlyn is then better than me because she isn't ill like me. So she can do those normal things. Also the doesn't need an oxygen therapy for 24/7! 

Today I was not at the school because migraine hit me so badly for during whole morning. At the morning I though to maybe watch some movie from laptop when the migraine goes way, but Then I decided go to the backyard and grabbed a pillow, blanket an good book and bottle of coffee with me. Because we do live at the town house we also do have a large backyard. I do remember that when I was younger we used to have the playground and swing-set but at the last year I wanted to sell it, just caused those sad thoughts for me. 

I remember the first time when me and Gus did met. Both of us were as a patient at the Children's cancer hospital. Because of infection isolation we were not able to communicate by normal way, so the nurse gave those spiral notebooks. When we wanted to 'speak' we just wrote down the 'message' to paper (there were a glass wall between of us). This was the 'our own thing' for so long time but then he forgot it and no we haven't talked in a year. 

I chose to read a book because otherwise could I just stare within a empty look on my faces as usual. My parents are on the holiday trip for a month so I am home alone... again. Sometimes I think do they care from me because this isn't a first time when I am alone. But hopefully nothing will happen, but the good thing from this is that I am able to relax and gather strength for the following week.

Tomorrow I want to shave my hair, they are so short at the moment that it is impossible to braid them. At the beginning my mom wanted to cut my hair but I don't care because now I do hate this hair model as long one too. 

// Page switcher // 

The next day...

I know that  I am gonna lose my hair anyway because of chemo, so it is just easier to cut them all. I decided call to Augustus, don't know why, maybe I just wanted to hear his voice. But you will never ques who answered, so let me tell for you... Kaitlyn. Why the hell did she answer to his phone?? What was she doing at there anyway, she should be at the school?! The clock is 10 AM. The most difficultiest thing is that I am not sure if Augustus have removed my number from his phone. If he doesn't then Kaitlyn saw my name on screen. And there read 'Hazel Grace <3' (at least the was reading). 

By the way I decided to say something for her, and that only made things worse like we can notice. I am sitting at the bed of the emergency room again.

4 hours ago...

me : 'Hey, could you ask Augustus itself to the phone?'

Kaitlyn : Hazel is that you?, Why would you want to speak with him anyway?

me : At once I was his girlfriend and we are still friends, so I do have rights call to him if I want to.

Kaitlyn : He could not care less from you, you little piece of shit?!! You didn't know that so now you know?.

me : So If you act like that, our friendship may be over then... I can't be a friend with someone so selfish that you. Someone who becomes jealous after every little thing. So I think I asked something but you didn't ever listened so...

Kaitlyn : [ closes the phone...]

me : Oh fucking shit!!!

well looks like I don't have any choices just need call to their house common telephone!

Exactly same time I was about to call I started to hear something from the house next to me. Of course they were fighting because of me, like always. Kaitlyn thought that Augustus was cheating her with me. All of that just because of one fucking phone call!!! So that's not a miracle when is's known that she is the main drama queen of this town.  

After a couple minutes I heard a knocking from our front door... When I opened door the first and the last thing I saw was Kaitlyn (or actually her fist that hit me to faces), then all went to perfect black. I remember that before I fell from the hit someone grabbed me and the same person shouted to my former best friend get to loose. 

an half hour later... 

Wait the minute, what just happened... Did Kaitlyn just punch me on face??? When did she become so violent person?? I knew that she had been weird for the whole friendship, but violent... And why did Gus make her leave? I thought that they two were dating... And why Augustus Waters is at my house (or my parents, but who cares...). 

Few second ago when I opened my eyes. I noticed that I was lying at the couch and Augustus were sitting at floor.  At first he asked I am okay? Well looks like I am not, if my head does again hurt and there might be several little bruises or  one large on my face. 

When I had stared at him for a couple minutes he asked I am able to breathe normal way (what the hell is normal way for me...) or would it be better go to the hospital. I don't want go to the hospital, ugh how I hate hospitals (when I am as patient). 

So I was thinking that I am clever when I said that I want go to the bathroom (ALONE) to wash all blood away from my face. I even said that If this  migraine doesn't go away then I'll thing about going to hospital. But I should have known that something bad is going to happen. Just didn't want to look weak front of Gus. I didn't want him to another excuse to bully me. 

Well all started so good way. I even was stabile enough to stand and walk. Yeah the upstairs are not so easy but that's normal for me... I remember when I went to my bedroom (bathroom is connected with it) I felt so weird and kinda just collapsed. He heard that I fell and ordered an ambulance. 

So when I woke up at the first time I was at the ambulance. One of the paramedics tried to insert so kind of tube to my throat (well it was an oral breathing tube connected to breathing machine, but I didn't realise it by then). She was not able to get that tube in place so they removed my nasal cannula and after that did the nasotracheal intubation [ A/N technically the same than oral one but tube is smaller and it goes from your nose to your lungs, made many times for me when I go to the esophageal endoscopy just the difference that I am sedated not awake] And let me say, that operation felt so disgusting, I almost puked the tube out!!

to be contiuned ... :-)

A/N 

Sorry, I do apologize all the medical glossary. I do know what those are in Finnish but translating them in English is a hard work [ most of those 'Finnish' hospital words are naturally from English like intubaatio = intubation or endoskopia = endoscopy].