A/n:
Between insanely long shifts and poor health, I've been slacking on writing.
I have finally gotten a diagnosis and started treatment… Hopefully this means more energy or at the very least, a modicum of motivation and consistency.
It's late and it's trash, but here it is.
♡ yiyi
***
It's long after midnight before the two of you make it back home.
You were grateful he'd been called out, giving you time to gather your thoughts. All you wanted was an excuse to deny him and as the two of you neared his house, you were still unable to come up with one.
You were going to hurt him.
Your hands shake as you follow him inside.
You were going to hurt him.
Your chest constricts, your heart beating in your throat.
He couldn't really expect this.
"Come here, hime," he says, pulling you into his arms and holding you close. You're enveloped by his body, clinging to him for all you're worth. A soothing hand strokes up and down your back and you concentrate on the motion, trying to time your breaths to it. "You're going to be okay."
Pulling back sharply, you look up at him. "Me? I'm worried about you."
He smiles and leads you to the couch, tugging you to his lap after he sits. "I'll be fine, princess." Cradling you close, he runs his fingers gently through your hair before softly kneading your scalp.
You melt into his touch, sighing contentedly as tension slowly leeches away. "Ready?" he asks, tilting your face to his.
"Just like that? No foreplay?"
He laughs, pressing his forehead to yours. "I think we've had enough of that, sweet girl."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"And I don't want you hurting any more. Please, just get it over with so I can take you to bed and hold you for the rest of the night."
He was woefully unprepared.
Without another word, you start unbuckling his belt and he stills your hands.
"Stop putting this off."
You bat his touch away and continue. "You're going to want to bite down on this," you tell him, tugging the leather through the loops before holding it up to him. Your hands tremble as you take a firmer hold of the strap and watch him bite. "Would you…" you shift on his lap, straddling him, "put your arms around me?"
"You say this to all the villains?" he asks around the belt and you sob out a laugh. "Hey, no crying, princess," he says, catching a tear on his thumb and swiping it away.
You don't tell him there's going to be a lot more crying before the two of you are through.
The first time your mind had connected to his, you'd been out of control. This time the connection is steady as you push into his head, forging the first link.
His eyes widen slightly and you stroke his cheek as you meet his gaze. "Moushi wake nai, Enji."
He grunts in discomfort, his body jerking beneath yours.
"Moushi wake nai," you say again and feel his arms tighten, his turquoise eyes glazing over with pain.
You'd never cared to see your quirk up close and personal, it was always wham bam and GTFO… seeing him like this when you'd barely gotten started… The cruelty was in your face.
"I'm going slow," you promise softly, dabbing a trickle of perspiration from his temple.
His body torques, an animalistic sound escaping him; he shakes his head from side to side, his eyes wide and fearful and you cup his face, stroking away the tears as they fall.
Your heart was breaking.
"Moushi wake nai..." you whisper to him, holding back tears of your own, "... it'll be over soon, Enji."
He shudders, a pained bellow muffled by the belt.
You knew he wasn't innocent, the whole country knew and he'd been paying for it every day since the war but this… this was too much.
"Finish it."
The command is garbled but firm and you wrap your arms around him, kissing the top of his head as his hands tighten on your waist.
You feed the last of his sins to him in a dark stream of consciousness, his anguished screams cutting straight through you.
"It's okay… it's okay," you murmur into his hair, rocking him slightly. It's everything but okay as you dab at his nosebleed with your sleeve, watching another blood vessel pop in his eye. "It's going to be okay," you say more to convince yourself this time.
You scream in pain as a scorching flash of fire licks across your hips before ceasing as quickly as it started the moment he falls limp beneath you.
His lungs work like bellows, his massive chest heaving beneath a shirt stained with sweat. As his hands drop from your waist, his fingers graze the burns you'd have to inspect later, your full focus on the man beneath you as his eyes remain closed.
"Enji?" You press your fingers to his neck, relieved even though his pulse is erratic before gingerly getting to your feet.
