Song: Enough For You
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Carson
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It was midnight when Sam had to go back home. And I would have fallen asleep, but to many things were running through my mind so I stayed up. And it was about three in the morning when I decided I'm telling my mom everything. She's going to be crushed, but I can't keep letting her think her husband is just this man who works hard for his family and that's why he's never home.
When in reality he works more to be able to get away from us and cheat on my mom, and betray us.
I'm still very much in disbelief of what he did. He's my dad. He's my moms husband. The love of her life. And all we were to him was nothing apparently.
And it hurts, god it hurts because I still love him, but I'm still so angry.
And I just wish we were enough for him because if we were he wouldn't of betrayed us like this.
I cry myself to sleep wondering when the moment was that we stopped being enough for him.
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I wake up.
It's nine in the morning.
I go to my moms room. " I can do this." I whisper to myself. "Mom"
"Yes honey"
"Can we talk?"
"What's wrong honey?" She asks instead of saying 'what's up' That's how well she knows when somethings up with me.
I don't respond I just stare at her for a second. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't know if I can destroy all the love she has left for him.
My eyes start to water.
"Carson come here." She calls for me and I walk over to the other side of her bed and lay next her. She brings me into a hug. Holding my head to her chest.
"Mom I'm so sorry." I cry into her chest.
"De que hablas no hiciste nada malo ¿O si?"
(Translation: Honey what are you taking about you did nothing wrong. Or did you?)
"I didn't but someone did and now I have to tell you and it's going to hurt you, y no quiero lastimarte."
(Translation: And I don't want to hurt you.)
"Honey whatever it is it can't be that bad." She holds me tighter to her.
"Dad" I whisper.
"What? Your dad? what does he got to do with this?" She pulls away from me looking me in the eyes. Waiting for me to finish the sentence.
"Carson?" She says my name and I break hearing her voice crack at the realization, but she still wants me to continue.
"He cheated mom. He cheated on you." I cry into my hands not wanting to look at her face lose all the love she had for him just minutes ago.
"I knew it." Her voice cracked.
I shoot my head up at her words. She has tear streaks running down her face and red rimmed eyes. She's looking down at her hands playing with her wedding ring.
"You suspected him?" I ask confused because If she had suspected him, why did she never say or do anything about it?
She looks up at me. "Honey I always suspected. I just never investigated because I was to much of a coward to find out the truth for myself. I was hoping and praying none of my suspicions were true because I love your father so much, but now that I know for sure, I think I'm going to file for divorce." More tears start running down her face at the mention of divorcing him. Even after just hearing what he's done she's still in love him with him, and it hurts her that she has to divorce him.
"Oh mom" I bring her into a hug. And she hugs me back so tight. Crying into me. "You're not a coward. You just wanted and hoped to be enough for him and that's okay." She cries into me even more at my words.
I don't know how long we just laid there holding each other and comforting one another. It felt nice just laying there with her.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear the door creek open, and I see Macy. She jumps onto the bed and lays down with us. Snuggling between us. My mom and I both snuggle into her.
After sometime I hear my mothers breathing regulate indicating she fell asleep, and I soon to start to let the darkness take me and I fall asleep.
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05/28/22
It's very short but I kind of just wanted to just write this chapter about her and her mom. I don't know I hope you guys liked it though.
Please let me know if there are mistakes. I read through it but there still might be some.
Have a great night/day🤍<3
Sincerely A.N
Question of the day:)
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What is Your most prized possession?
My AirPods/phone because music helps my anxiety a lot and I have a lot of anxiety:)
YOU ARE READING
YOU ARE MY LIGHT
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