Damage Repaired

Chapter 20

It was already Monday and I was currently dragging myself out of bed and in the shower to get the long day ahead of me started. The only thing keeping me going was knowing Ezra was back from his trip and would finally be picking me up today.

A smile crept onto my face when I saw him leaning against his Maserati in front of the building like he always does with his dark hair was brushed down, spilling down the top of his shoulders, he also wore plaid grey dress pants and a black polo shirt. Ezra met me halfway, pulled me into a tight hug, and planted a kiss at the base of my throat.

"I missed you," he murmured, squeezing me tighter.

I inhaled his cologne, not realizing how much I missed it—him. "I missed you too."

As soon as the words slipped from my mouth, a weird feeling stabbed me in the chest, but I refused to acknowledge it and continued smiling as Ezra let go and opened the passenger door for me.

"How was your trip?" I asked once he slipped in the driver's seat beside me.

"Absolutely boring, but the job got done."

I laughed. "That's all that matters."

"Indeed," he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "How are you considering certain circumstances?" Ezra asked, referring to the shadowing.

I fiddled with the necklace around my neck and shrugged. "I honestly don't know how to feel," I whispered honestly. After Ezra trusted me enough to confess about his son, I felt more than comfortable confiding in him. "Part of me wants to throttle him and force all the answers to my questions out of his mouth to clear the confusion that's been suffocating and haunting me for the past few years, but another part of me wants to pretend that night never happened and play my part until the shadowing is done..." I trailed off and took a deep breath feeling all the emotions clogging my throat.

I clenched my fists and blinked the tears away, forcing myself not to cry; then I remembered my therapist telling me that crying was a healthy coping mechanism and that I should embrace it, but fuck that, I refused to cry over him, I shed enough tears as is. Ezra reached over and took my hand in his, squeezing it gently.

"You don't have to do this, sweetheart."

"But I do," I smiled weakly. "Maybe this is what I need to get closure, and hopefully, by the end of this shadowing, I'll get exactly that on top of the connections and resources I need. It's a win-win, so if I have to suck up all my personal feelings to get the job done, then I'll do that."

Ezra nodded, accepting my decision. "I'll be here for you if you ever need me."

"Thank you," I whispered, feeling my chest tighten. Dylan was right; whatever Ezra and I had was more than just the fuck buddy agreement we set up originally, and it scared me thinking about the feelings that were starting to bloom for him—another problem I didn't want to acknowledge. For now, all I wanted to do was focus on surviving this shadowing thing I got myself into, and then maybe—maybe, I'll consider dissecting this thing between us when it was over.

Phoenix Tech eventually came into view, and nerves immediately swarmed my stomach.

Breathe in, breathe out, I chanted internally.

"Do you know what time you get off?" Ezra asked, parking the car in front of the building.

I shook my head, still focused on my breathing. "I'll text you when I find out."

"Good luck," he leaned over the center console and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I hope you know what you're doing."

I gave him my best smile before sliding out of the car and heading into the lion's den. Marsha was the first one to greet me as soon as I walked in, and I couldn't help but look around the lobby wondering why Nathaniel wasn't in her place like I thought he'd be.