dsmp quotes ♡︎

tommy

mum, am i adopted? - tommy
*silence*... yeah - tommys mum
oh.. - tommy

-

nice uterus, bruv - tommy
..that was rude - connor

-

fish are fvcking weird dude, maybe its the fact that.. that they dont have d1cks

-

STOP BEING A FVCKING FISH TUBBO -tommy
..bloop - tubbo

-

i suffer from success

-

im really fvckin scared of chickens

-

have a carrot, please, calm yourself

-

wink and run boys, wink and run

-

tubbo! - tommy
yeahh! - tubbo
tubbo! - tommy
no. - tubbo
*tubbo left the game*

-

welcome guys, to another episode of skywars. today im going to spend 10 minutes talking about boring school stuff and still somehow get an absurd amount of views and talk super fast. lets kill some nerds! -tommy voice overing a techno video

-

drista dont do drvgs - tommy
how to sex 3...? - drista
NOOO - tommy

-

were you born before or after april 9th, 2004? - tommy
before. - ranboo
so youre younger than me? :D - tommy
no, that means im older. - ranboo
aahhhh why am i still the youngest?? - tommy

-

what is marriage fraud? - tubbo
marriage fraud is when two men, two women, two shit, anyone gets married. and then they fall apart and then the other one, listen tubbo, the other one probably owns a knife or some shit. and then they go and rob a bank together as frauds. - tommy

-

you know im rainophobic? i see rain, and i cant stop insulting it.

-

everyone is out looking for women, meanwhile im still on drugs. :/

-

good news i got ya a girl, bad news shes american

-

chat i will always be here

-

so your mums not dying - wilbur
well she could be.. i havent asked.. - tommy

-

why dont we just sit down, calm down, over a nice bowl of fetish

-

techno, if this is what ive become, then i dont wanna be me anymore..

-

you know when your mum gives you a gift that you already have on Christmas morning and you have to pretend to be really really grateful and its the hardest thing ever.

-

im hd bitch!!

-

i might just kill hbomb. - tommy
merry Christmas *gives tommy pigstep* - hbomb
i will not kill hbomb. - tommy

-

hes not busy, hes dead

-

i cant believe i just made a joke about your girlfriend dying and got away with it. (tommy to lazarbeam)

-

even though youre australian, thank you (tommy to lazarbeam)

-

im in the fucking ground bitch!

-

ITS CHUNKYYYY!! (tommy when he drank from a partly frozen fanta.)

-

babies be like: yo i came out of the verjinia (tommy in how to sex 2)

-

dont have sex with terrorists (tommy in how to sex 2)

-

just killed a woman, feeling good

-

AEHHHH PLASTIC

-

THE DISKS TUBBO. THE DISKS WERE WORTH MORE THAN YOU EVER WERE.

-

wilby i-
did you just call me wilby?? - wilbur

-

where is FOOT

-

you fvcked up for the last time dream