Alone Forever

The crash

!Warning! May contain triggering content for some viewers!

Madeline
:/—<

Hey dad! Let's go get some ice cream." I said as he picked me up from my mommies house. "Oh alright. But just for you sweetie. Just don't tell mommy." He looked back in the rear view mirror smiling as he watched my 3 year old self giggle and dance around in my seat. We always do late night drives like this and then we go back to mommy. Normally, I ge to go for a ride in a cart! It's so much fun because he always shows me the different things he says is fun. I want to be just like him. I look down at my lap and see the stuffed animal he gave me and I start playing with it. This loud screech makes me stop and look up, before this massive slam runs into our car and I hear several loud shouts and a weird noise.

I'm almost ripped away from my car seat, the straps started to really dig in on my skin. It really hurt. When it seemed like we stopped moving, I started crying and calling out for my daddy. "Daddy? Daddy where are you!" I can't see him from my view in the seat, causing panic to rise in my chest. "Mads?" I hear a voice faintly whisper and I know it's my dad. "Daddy?" "Maddy? Are you ok honey?" We no longer have the tiny mirror in front of where I sit but I know he is trying to look at me. I continue crying to myself, because this is scary. I just want to hug my dad. Every time he moves he yells and starts shaking. One time when he tried to move, he started silently crying.

I hear faint screams coming from outside the car and I hear rapid bands on the window. "Please. Take her. Take her first. Maddy. It's going to be ok. I love you sweet girl." "I love you too daddy." I hear taps start on my window progressively getting louder and louder before the whole window shatters. A pair of hands reach in for me, unbuckling me and trying to pry the door open. They get me out through the window with my stuffed dog in my hand as they rapidly walk away. Just as I turned to see where one man was going, I looked at the car. Bright yellow flames were staring to bubble up from the front and I could hear the talking become more rapid.

"Daddy?" I tried to say as loud as I could, but my voice wasn't enough. As I took one more step, the whole thing just engulfed in the yellow and orange flame followed by a loud noise blowing a lot of warm air my way. Screaming. Lots of screaming, yelling loud noises, but my dad wasn't anywhere. "Daddy! Daddy!" I look to see him still inside the car before holding up our sign one last time before the yellow things made him invisible. "Daddy!" I felt a pair of arms wrap around me as I started crying. I don't understand any of this, but I want my dad. Why isn't he getting out? I need my dad.

Two years later

"Madeline I'm going out on a date. Order a pizza or something. I'll be back later." Every night. My mommy would go out on a "date" which usually ended up with her spending the night at his house or they coming here and going into her room for the rest of the night. I don't know how to order pizza, but I'm getting hungry. And I can't make a mess or else she'll be mad. I'm just going to wait until later when she comes back for food.

Three Years Later

She's gone again. Our on a date. With a guy named Jim. A week ago it was Derek. Two days before that it was Mark. I'm ordering a pizza and I am going to watch some TV before going to bed. She doesn't get home early like she used to. Instead of her getting here at 12 or 4, she's been getting here two days from since she left. It's getting really lonely around here. I miss my dad. It seems like all my nice family people are dying. First my dad, now my grandpa. We were just playing with Lego's and he was sitting in his chair when he started couching and something was happening to him. Grandma call the cops but by the time an ambulance got there, he was already gone. The only other person in my life that loved me. Gone right before my eyes.

Two Years Later

Today she had me go down to the store and pick out some clothes. I didn't know what to get, so I got sweatpants and just normal shirts. No design, nothing special, just shirts. Ones black and says Marvel in red, the other is a darker gray. I buy one hoodie that goes with the one shirt. A black one that says Avengers. I shove them in the cart and quickly run to the checkout ready to leave and pay for this stuff and get home. I don't like the public. Sometimes it's nice, mostly it's bad. I just like relaxing. As soon as I get home, I see my mother is here. I don't really like that because she is always drunk and she can say some pretty mean things. When I walk through the door, I have a clear view of her sitting on the couch drinking wine with an empty bottle next to her. "There you are. It took you forever. You look like a bum dressed like that. Go to your room and don't forget to do the laundry." "Yes mom." Just like that, forgotten. I only eat when she's away because she likes to judge that too. So, tonight I won't have any food.

Four years Later

Today, I'm fourteen. My birthday. But, I have some friends, a semi-social life, and a crippling addiction to Marvel. I got introduced when I was ten and the first Avengers movie came out. I have them all, all that are made, right up until here. They made Guardians of the Galaxy a year ago. I really liked and it and I can't stop watching them, it would be one of my biggest dreams to be in one of those movies one day. But I would have to try and overcome my stupid fear of people. Maybe I can do it. Who knows. In the meantime, I'm going to rewatch my comfort movie. My moms currently with her date and it's getting pretty loud. At this point, I'm used to it. But it doesn't mean it doesn't bother me. Ever since that day, I haven't felt the same.

I'm upset because it's like she forgot who dad was. They had an argument that night so we were on our way to grandmas. I remember that now. But it really sucks. I miss him, and I can't even celebrate my thirteenth birthday. It was supposed to be special. I'm officially a teen now. And he isn't here to see it. That really sucks. I start high school next year too. At least I have Preston and Kallie. They'll be there for me. I am on the 8th grade basketball team and we are pretty good. Schools almost over ergo basketball is too. I can't wait for high school. Even if all the people do drugs, smoke, and curse, it's way better than this hellhole. I have a dog though. His name is Rocco. He's a Cane Corso that we rescued from the pound. He was apparently getting aggressive and they were about to put him down. But he's fine now. Although very protective of me. Don't let any of moms friends get close to me. Yea. He's saved me from rape a couple times which I'm thankful for.