Alone Forever

At home auditions

!Warning! May contain triggering content for some viewers!

December 20, 2014

Maddie
O|—<

Man, it's almost Christmas. December 20th. Three more days till Christmas break. I can't wait. While it has been amazing doing basketball, I can't wait for the New Year. This year I hope to be on the Volleyball team and Track team. They are such cool sports and take some skill to play.

Kallie and Preston have been there next to me since sixth grade. We hit it off immediately. I had a crush on Preston when I first met him, but it's gone now. Although, he isn't that bad. But he's my bestie which would make it awkward right? Right.

"So, Maddie. What are your plans for Christmas break?" I turn to look at Preston as we three are walking outside. "Nothing much. Probably just hanging out with you two. To get away from my mom sometimes. She's been real suffocating lately." Well it's not a lie. She has been suffocating, but they just think it's like normal mom stuff. Not actual verbal abuse.

"Wow imagine hanging with us." Kallie says as I turn back around to walk straight. "Imagine having a good relationship with your mom." I say and now it's begun. The official semi-competition of who can say the worst thing first. "Imagine having a good relationship with your dad." Weak. "Imagine knowing your dad." Almost. "Imagine having a dad." Boom. Mic. Dropped.

It was silent as we all held eye contact for a few seconds, before we continued on our way. "Ok you win Mads." Ha. "I wish our school did something fun. Like a big project you know? Just a movie about what goes on at our school or more specifically our class." Now this has my interest peaked. "Dude that's not a bad idea. Our class would totally win an MTV award or some shit like that. It's really chaotic and funny in there." I say and they nod their heads. "Did you hear what Sam said to Josh today?" I shake my head no trying to see if I remember it. "They were play arguing a bit and Sam was like, "I love your mommy's milk." And Josh started laughing and stuff, but Ms. Jackson heard the whole thing!" I laughed because that is exactly what I think Josh and Sam would do. "See! We'd win an award for sure." Kallie says.

"Who knows. Maybe something big will happen, but probably not." They are happy with the answer, so we continue making side talk until we get to my house. "Thanks for walking me home guys. See ya tomorrow." I walk up the sidewalk after we part ways and open the front door. Almost as soon as I stepped in, I heard mom upstairs with some guy. I think this one's name is Greggory? I don't know and, I don't care. He's not my dad plus I never see them leave, enter, or anywhere between there.

When I open the door to my room, I am greeted by my dog Rocco who is about 4 years old. When I used to work at the shelter, a dude who looked like he was part of the Mexican Mafia came in. He yelled saying this was the dumbest dog, he bit multiple people, and took shits all around the house. Now, I blame the owners because it's just like trauma. Bad people who make bad decisions make bad dogs.

He was going to be put down but I convinced my boss to let me have him and voila. Here he is. The best, well-trained doggo ever. I keep him in my room because of the men whose always here. He don't do well towards them after one tried to rape me and he bit him. Ever since, he's been protective and mom yells at him whenever she sees him. So, I keep him hidden. Before mom and her guy are done, I run Rocco out to go potty so I don't have to clean up his mess again. He tries not to, but I'm just too late sometimes.

As I'm finishing homework, Rocco jumps off the bed, shakes, goes to the door and sits down staring at me. Why? Just why? "You need to go outside huh?" I say. He perks his small ears up and tilts his head slightly. "Walk?" I tease him again. He wags whatever is left of his tail and starts to whine a little. "Ok ok. Let's go buddy." I set my stuff down and go to grab his harness.

Anywhere would be better than sitting here at home in this strip club, even if that meant I had to watch Rocco shit. "Oh yes right there!" Perfect timing. I think I'm gonna be sick. I quickly put Rocco's harness on and clip his leash on before running outside. "These walks help calm you down huh buddy?" We start our journey by going to the dog park. It's one of the only places where he can be a real dog again.

There are many other dogs like a German shepherd, a boxer, couple of huskies, and red-nosed pit-bull. Those are always the sweetest little angels of dogs. He goes straight to the husky which I presumed was a girl before being bombarded by the others. It seemed like the German shepherd was the one in charge here. He was observing everyone's behavior and ready to step in if anything went sideways.

"Man why can't people be more like you huh bud?" The German shepherd came over wagging his tail, and gave my hand a lick. "We just need more people that are like you. They keep us in line, know how to discipline people the right way, and is always there for each other." He goes back over to where the pit bull and Rocco was now playing chase. He joined in, getting chased by both of them before he turned and reversed to chase them.

After a little bit Rocco walked back over, panting and probably ready to go. "Alright. Let's get you some water first." I use the fountain to pour some water before heading on our journey. "We need to go to the store Rocco. We are out of our celery, eggs, bacon, and oranges." I normally pack a peanut butter and jelly for lunches with either an orange or celery. I have to watch my weight because according to mother, I am getting a gut. That's my worst fear. People would make fun of me and they already do enough. With me being the only girl on a guys mainly sport. Well, used to. It's over though.

By the time we got home, it was thankfully quiet and dark. She probably was asleep upstairs after getting fucked for like the 10th time today. Honestly, it's a mystery how we can afford this stuff and this house. I don't think she has a job. But it's not hurting me so I think I'm ok for now. Only four more years till I can move out. Legally.

Supper is overrated, so tonight I will just have an orange. They are always good. Rocco gets his dog food and I get my orange. Rocco jumps on my bed waiting for me to hurry up and take a shower. The shower was most enjoyable. Getting to wash off all the bad vibes and things from today before climbing into my bed and cuddling Rocco making sure to check my phone.

Ooh. Chris Evans posted on Instagram. Ok, that's a good story. Now what about Emma. She's such a pick me type of girl. Yep just as expected, a photo of her pouting and her bestie behind her laughing. So QuIrKy. What's this?

MarvelStudios
We will be introducing a new character into the MCU for Captain America: Civil War. Get ready to see who it is and don't forget to watch it in theaters on May 6.

Holy shit! A new character? Oh I wish I could do that one day. Oh there's more...

Click here to audition

...Can they read my mind. OH MY GOSH! I COULD DO IT? I probably won't get it. But I can try I guess. I click on the link and it takes me to this fancy looking site. Ok. Now all I have to do is fill it out.

After 2 hours of filling out my audition form, recording then deleting multiple takes of it, and thinking of my resume even though I'm fourteen, it's turned in. But it's now midnight. At least I can get a couple hours of sleep. It's fine. I'm used to it. "Goodnight Rocco." He climbs up closer to my body pressing against my stomach allowing me to wrap my arm around him.