"It's so late", Eilidh laughed, rolling ovr in bed and nuzzling tnto Harry's side, her nose tickling the skin there, making him squirm.
"So?", he replied, hooking his leg over her body to trap her between his body and the snowy, feather-light sheets. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be".
"Mmmm, me neither", Eilidh wrapped herself around him like a koala bear, causing him to chuckle with affection and scratch her head absent-mindedly.
They had been this way for hours now, in bed, talking, laughing, making love. After their altercation on the Heath; Harry had dragged her back to his house where they had clung to one another as he pulled her to bed. In contrast to what they had done against a tree merely minutes before, this was languid, slow, delicious. Minutes after they were groaning into each other simultaneously, he would suddenly disappear from above her and was between her legs, licking her to submission while she squealed and wriggles, tugging on his curls.
Now, with spongy bodies intertwined, they stroked and loved one another completely, without drama or interruption. Now and then, one would let their eyes lull closed, only for the other to shift somehow, and then the eyes would snap back open, so unwilling were they to miss anything, to not be aware of something he other was doing.
Harry's arm dangled around Eilidh's neck, and she twisted his wrist around to examine his new tattoo, which twined around the circumference like a permanent bracelet, words he had specifically chosen as tribute to her. "I still can't believe you did this", she mused in wonder, letting her fingers graze the slightly raised edges of the script, which indicated its newness. She pushed on the cursive writing slightly, a a tiny frown creasing between her eyes as she absently wished she could push it further, make it part of his body, as if it was etched on his insides.
Harry smiled into her hair as he watched her examine the tattoo. He had gotten it only four days before, when his tortured soul had read an old dusty poetry book from cover to cover. By the time he was done he knew for sure that he was well and truly fucked, whatever the outcome of their relationship. Whether she rejected him or not, whether he had fucked things up royally by speaking to Caroline, it didn't matter. He was hers forever.
"We should sleep", Eilidh suggested groggily, rubbing her thumb and forefinger into her bleary eyes, while Harry chuckled.
"Hmmmm", he made to agree, before suddenly flipping her onto her back again, making her squeal. "How could I sleep, when I have you?", Harry breathed into her mouth, while Eilidh melted around him.
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Morning came too soon, and Eilidh groaned and shielded her face from the light pouring through the window, flipping over and cuddling into Harry's back, uncaring at the thin film of sweat that beaded his skin. They had slept finally, wrapped together, tangled like wire in an impossible knot, so unwilling were they for their bodies to part.
"Morning, Bambi", Harry groaned, rolling over and pinning her to his tummy, spooning her tiny body with his long lithe one.
"Morning", Eilidh lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it firmly, smiling again when she noticed the tattoo that she kept forgetting.
"I should find my phone", Eilidh realised suddenly. "I haven't spoken to anyone since I left yesterday, not Alex, the salon, nobody".
Harry yawned widely and stretched, releasing her to jump up out of bed and pad naked across the room to rummage in her handbag.
"Me neither", Harry admitted. "Do me a favour and get mine out of my pocket for me will ya babe?".
Eilidh dutifully dug in his jeans and tossed his phone over to where he lay in bed, and he caught it deftly.
She watched as his expression froze, and his eyes narrowed when he swiped his phone open.
"What is it?", Eilidh asked quickly, feeling on edge again, and sighing.
Harry looked at her for a long moment, seemingly warring with himself, before he handed the phone to Eilidh who came to sit by him on the bed.
There was a text message there, and the number was unsaved. Eilidh read it quickly, her heartbeat picking up as she took it in.
It's Carrie. I'm so sorry about the other night. Its been so long-can we talk? Coffee?
"I won't go", Harry said immediately, watching her read it, his eyes anxious.
"No", Eilidh sank back against the pillows, her mind racing. She stared at the message some more before finally looking up to meet Harry's eyes.
"I think you should go", she said finally, and his eyes widened in surprise, before he shook his head fervently.
"Eil, after everything I',m not gonna do anything thats gonna fuck us up babe-"
"Harry", Eilidh interrupted him, and sat astride him. He held her thighs and met her eyes, his expression wary and unsure.
"Baby, all this has happened between us-", she gestured with her hand between them. "I mean the bad stuff, the difficulties... because we have or had unfinished business with other people. I...", Eilidh searched her brain for the words. "I saw Fraser at Hogmanay", she finally admitted, and watched as Harry's eyes flickered with recognition, then narrowed. "It was actually really helpful", she hurried to explain. "I saw him for about two seconds and he said a couple of things that I really needed to hear".
Harry's eyes dropped to Eilidh's thighs where he kneaded his fingers, anxiously, almost painfully.
"I think maybe you need that...with Caroline", Eilidh said her name with difficulty. "I think it's maybe time we stopped pretending that neither of us had a life before each other. Because we did. And thats...thats life".
Harry finally lifted his face to hers, and searched there, looking for signs that this was a test, something he was going to fail.
"I wanted to see her", he admitted to Eilidh, gulping over his own words. "I was....hurt when she ignored me at first".
Eilidh nodded, swallowing hard. The thought of him being near Caroline brought her out in prickly, uncomfortable goosebumps, but she willed herself to suppress it, knowing that jealousy and possessiveness had no place at this stage in their relationship. Like she had said, it was time to be honest, to acknowledge the past, in order to finally be free of it.
"You should go", she repeated, lying down on top of him, and tucking her head under his chin. Harry stroked her hair absently, his mind whirring as he mulled over her words.
"What was it like then?", he asked finally, making her sit up. Harry studiously avoided her gaze. "Seeing Fraser?"
Eilidh looked down at him, knowing she had to answer this diplomatically.
"It was...", she racked her brains. "Weird", she said finally, hauling herself off Harry and lying down beside him. She propped herself up on one elbow facing him, and he mirrored her, listening intently.
"In one way it was like no time at all had passed", Eilidh closed her eyes and let herself be transported back to the jolt of familiarity she felt when she looked into those grey eyes she knew so well. "But in another...it was like a lifetime ago. He told me he was glad I was happy...", Eilidh picked at the sheets, avoiding Harry's eyes. "It meant a lot to me", she admitted. "I didn't expect it to, but it did. Felt like....a weight off my shoulders".
Harry nodded, stroking her arm gently. "I can understand that", he allowed. "What about Rudy?", he dared to ask, and Eilidh looked up, a sad grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"No holds barred, eh?", she teased, and Harry laughed, caught out.
"You don't have to tell me", he allowed, holding his hands up with a grin. "But you cant blame me for being wary of the guy".
"You shouldn't be", Eilidh challenged him. "He told me at Hogmanay that he came down here to talk to you!", she suddenly whipped the pillow out from under her and threw it at him, growling when he caught it deftly. "You kept that quiet!".
Harry tossed the pillow to the side, laughing. "Yeah, well", he raked his hand through his hair adorably, looking up at her with puppy eyes. "Didn't really wanna admit that I needed that knucklehead to come down and talk sense into me".
Eilidh smirked. "But he did", she goaded. "You should like Rudy", she teased, pushing her luck, giggling when she saw Harry roll his eyes.
"I reserve judgement on those who are in love with my girlfriend", he drolled, and Eilidh tried to laugh, but it died in her throat, her mouth suddenly feeling like cotton.
"He is, Eil", Harry watched her carefully from under his eyelashes as he spoke. "You know that don't you? Like, it isn't just a crush? He proper, bona fide, loves you".
Eilidh stared at Harry silently, her eyes unfathomable.
"What is it about him?", Harry pushed, suddenly uncaring about scaring her. "Like, why do you care so much about him?"
"Shut up, Harry", Eilidh was thoroughly unamused now, and stood up the move away from the bed, before Harry caught her wrist and deftly pulled her back down.
"No holds barred, you said".
"You wouldn't understand".
"Then make me understand, Eilidh", Harry's voice was low, dangerous, and his eyes had darkened. Their banter had given way to something entirely different. "If you're gonna be running around Glasgow with him while I'm on tour, at least make me understand what the fuck it is about him. Why I should trust him. Why I should trust you".
Eilidh stared at him, knowing that he was right. Why should he trust her? She was transported back to Hogmanay, and then after, in Firewater, and the freedom and familiarity she felt when she was with Rudy. She knew she owed Harry the truth.
"I don't know", she finally admitted in a small voice, and Harry immediately softened, and pulled her into him, sitting up so she was cradled in his lap. He rested his chin on her shoulder, and waited, knowing she would talk when she was ready.
"I hate hurting him", Eilidh finally said, her voice torn with tears. Harry nodded into her hair, sighing deeply. "I hate that he loves me. I wish it wasn't so. But... I hate being away from him. He's been my pal since I was a little girl". She twisted round suddenly, her wretched eyes on Harry's suddenly, willing him to understand.
"I don't love him", she deliberated slowly but firmly, and Harry nodded, knotting his hands with hers and kissing them. "But I need him in my life. He's mine. My mate. My family".
They sat together for a bit, rocking, silently, both together but separate, mulling over their own thoughts.
"It's all very Bella and Jacob", Harry eventually joked weakly, and Eilidh burst into laughter, turning round to straddle him once again. He captured her gladly, nudging her lips with his in a soft, tentative kiss.
"Not really", Eilidh eventually responded, clasping her hands behind his head and firmly pressing her lips to his, almost feverishly. "I would say you're definitely the more wolfish of the two of you", she ribbed, and Harry laughed into her mouth, pulling back to eye her cheekily.
"And I should think so too", he teased, tickling her ribs.
They kissed lazily for a bit, falling backwards onto the bed. Eilidh let her tongue slowly wind into his, revelling in his deliciousness as their bodies gave and yielded together.
"I hate how I'm threatened by him", Harry finally said into Eilidh's neck, and she frowned, pulling back to study his face in confusion.
"Hmmm?"
"Rudy", he clarified, his face flushing voluntarily and his eyes dropping. "It does my head in that hes... you know".
"What?", Elidh was genuinely confused as she looked down at his cherubic face and watched the dimples twist in his cheeks.
"He's a welder", Harry groaned finally, his green eyes finally meeting her brown ones. "He plays guitar, and has a Glasgow accent... he's...", Harry half laughed to himself, still not meeting Eilidh's gaze. "He's the epitome of man", he finally admitted, watching Eilidh burst into raucous laughter.
"Harry", Eilidh attempted to level with him. "You are an international pop star, babe. You have been voted sexiest man in the world about a million times. Look at you. And you think Rudy Stewart, welder and parka-wearing guitarist is manlier than you?"
Harry smirked, but she knew from the movement in his jaw that he was serious.
"Harry", Eilidh took his face in her hands and kissed his cheekbones. "Baby, you make me liquid on the inside. You have destroyed me in every single way. My life will never be the same now that I know you. I'm yours baby".
Harry looked into her molten lava eyes and gulped, determined not to cry, her words meaning more to him than he could ever explain. "I get that you want him in your life", he conceded finally when he was more composed. "Just...be careful with him", he mumbled, fiddling with the fine delicate chain that hung around Eilidh's neck.
"I will", Eilidh pressed her lips to his firmly, her heart feeling like it might explode with love. "I love you", she whispered, and Harry closed his eyes, revelling in the words.
"I love you more", he returned, running his nose over her cheeks and chin, liking just to feel her features in any way he could.
"You gonna go see her?", Eilidh asked, kissing him again.
"Yeah", Harry lurched his body up to meet hers, suddenly needing to be inside her again, his fingers desperate as they pawed at her body. "Yeah I'll go see her".
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Caroline felt sick as she waited, a glass of wine in front of her. They had arranged to meet at the Groucho Club, and she had entered through the back ,for fear of press catching wind. She was sat in a booth at the back, away from everything, and she was glad it was afternoon, and quiet. She had suggested coffee to Harry but was hoping to get through the wine before he arrived, and he be none the wiser. The rate she was going, it wouldn't be a problem, she mused as she gulped nervously, butterflies erupting in her tummy at the thought of him. She checked her phone quickly, and sighed in relief. She had come purposely early, and it was still twenty minutes before Harry was due to meet her. She prayed he wouldn't be early.
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"Hello", Harry nodded politely at the doorman as he entered Groucho, pulling his beanie off his head and scrubbing at his messy hair nervously. His eyes scanned the empty club and he sighed in relief when he realised he must be early. Striding quickly towards the bar he nodded at the young barmaid who met him with a bright smile. "Can I have a Jack Daniels, neat please", he asked, hoisting himself up on a bar stool. The girl nodded and busied herself getting his order.
Harry pulled out his phone while he waited, swiping it open and grinning at his background, a selfie of him and Eilidh. He wasn't sure why, but the sight calmed him, and made him remember why he was there. To make things better, to move on.
Quickly he opened up his text feed to Eilidh and tapped her a message.
Hi baby, I'm here. I love you and miss you. I'm glad that you suggested I come here- you are the loveliest. Keep the bed warm. H.x
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Caroline checked her phone again, her brows knitting together in confusion. It was now thirty minutes after Harry had agreed to meet her. Was he standing her up? She pushed the thought out of her brain immediately, knowing that Harry would never be so rude. Her eyes scanned the empty club again, and she ducked her head in embarrassment when she noticed the barman eyeing her.
Making a split second decision, she beckoned him over, spurred on by her massive glass of wine.
"Hi miss", the man stood to attention and Caroline smiled.
"Hiya", she replied, rubbing her black stockinged thighs nervously. "I'm supposed to be meeting someone... someone...well known", she choked out. "I'm wondering if perhaps he called?"
The boy looked down at her, his eyes dawning in recognition. He leaned in close to whisper in Caroline's ear. "Harry Styles is in our main bar", he confided, nervously, his eyes shining. "If that's who you mean".
Caroline rolled her eyes, standing up quickly and slinging her hand bag over her shoulder. "Thanks, Kev", she clapped the barman on the back, reading his name tag and striding through the double doors to the main bar, impatient now to get this over with.
She stopped short when she caught sight of him, alone in the main bar, his limbs seemingly longer than ever ,crouched awkwardly on a bar stool. She noted the empty glasses beside him and smiled softly, noticing his beanie stuffed in his pocket, his bitten fingernails, the curls that were still too long around his ears. Suddenly she was transported back in time, to a time when he was hers, when he was innocent, when she had been the one to show him the way.
It was these thoughts that were in her mind when he lifted his gaze to meet hers, and she registered the shock, then polite pleasure that replaced this.
"Hello", she walked forward towards him, her trench coat folded over her arms.
"Hello, legs", Harry greeted her, his eyes cloudy from the several Jack Daniels he had consumed in her absence. "Thought you weren't coming".
"I'll tell you a secret", Caroline hoisted herself up on a stool beside him. "I didn't think you were either. I've been next door", she nodded her head towards the other room of the club.
"Shit", Harry looked dazed as he took in these words, his eyes finally meeting hers. "Sorry".
"Not your fault", Caroline shrugged, lifting Harry's drink from his hand and downing it quickly while he watched, smiling.
"Hello, miss", the same bar maid appeared and grinned at Caroline. "What can I get you?"
Harry looked at Caroline questioningly.
"Water", she said, firmly, and Harry rolled his eyes.
"She'll have a large Pinot Grigio", he corrected to the barmaid who nodded and disappeared.
"So", Harry sat back against the bar and took her in, her short skirt and jumper, stylish shoes and shiny hair. She looked good. Healthy, relaxed, gorgeous. "How the devil are you, love?"
"I'm well", Caroline accepted her wine gratefully and immediately drank deeply, avoiding Harry's amused gaze. "You?"
"I'm good", Harry watched her carefully, taking in the slight termor in her hands and the tightness in her knuckles on her glass. It comforted him thinking she was as nervous as he.
"I'm sorry for what I said at Chiltern", Harry blurted, thinking he should be the gentleman and get the first apology in.
Caroline steeled herself and looked away. "I'm sorry for avoiding you at Chiltern", she countered, finally looking up.
Whether it was the Jack Daniels, the wine, the fact that they were sitting openly together alone after a year, but they both took a long, hard gaze at the other.
As grey met green, Harry felt like plates in his life, his future were shifting. It was time, eventually to address the past.
