Sassy Bassy Bacon (Hetalia & Black Butler)

The meeting

So it was the day of the world meeting and the magic trio + Sebastian + America? all got into Norway's car (because it's always good to carpool)
And drove to the meeting (luckily it was in France so they didn't have to drive to a different continent or something) "wait, masters, before you go in you need to wear these" said Sebastian, handing the trio three eyepatches "they'll know something's up if they see you with a bloody pentacles on your eyes"
"Ooh it will be just like the pirate days!" giggled England happily
"Wait, demon what am I supposed to be doing?" asked Ronald
"Well just be loud, obnoxious and full of yourself... actually just act normally but with an American accent"
"Kay"

Inside the meeting building was complete chaos (as per usual). France was flirting with everyone (regardless of gender), china was trying to get people to try his 'traditional Chinese tasty treats', Japan was sensing the mood and refraining from speaking, Sealand was desperately trying to get people to notice him and Germany was trying to get everyone to shut up while trying to stop Italy from choking on his pasta. "SHUT UP YOU VORTHLESS IDIOTS!" screamed the large German man, causing everyone's head to turn to him, suddenly the door opened and the magic trio, Sebastian and Ronald walked into the awkward silence, all eyes were on them for a minute then chaos broke out again, poor Germany had just got everyone calm when these idiots had to come in and ruin everything!
The countries sat down in their normal places and Sebastian just hovered awkwardly behind England's chair. "Ok, why the hell are you three wearing eyepatches?" asked a particularly grumpy Switzerland
"We're playing pirates" replied England
"Really?" Switzerland asked sarcastically
"Yes really"
"Ok, but who is that guy standing behind you?"
"This is my butler"
"You have a butler?"
"Of course I do, I'm English!"
"Oookay then..."
Sebastian once again mentally facepalmed
"Hey America, you look strange today" came a small voice from the seat next to Ronald.
"Uh who are you?" he asked the semi invisible man
"I'm Canada, your brother!"
Crap! Thought Ronald, he didn't know America had a brother, if anyone could tell he's a fake then Canada could! Ronald started to panic,
"It's ok" Canada whispered "nobody remembers me, it's nothing new"
"Oh sorry Canada, I, uh, haven't had much sleep so I didn't recognise you straight away!" Ronald said quickly, why couldn't that damn demon have told him about this?!
"Have you dyed your hair or something? and what's up with your eyes?" Canada whispered
"Well England dared me to dye my hair and as for my eyes... well I got laser eye surgery yesterday so my eyes look kinda strange..."
"But then why are you still wearing glasses?"
"Uhh... The laser eye surgery didn't work... last time I ever get surgery from some shady guy I meet in a dark alleyway" (nice save Ron)
"Oh one more thing, what is up with your accent?"
"UH, what do you mean? CHEESEBURGERS FOOTBALL MURICA WALLMART!"
"Ok, ok, you're America I get it!"
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP, ZIS MEETING IS UNDERVAY!" screamed a now infuriated Germany. everyone immediately shut up and sat down. "Danke, now back to zhe meeting, as you can see..."
"Like, thanks for getting them to shut up Germany, I'll like, take it from here" a sassy looking girl interrupted Germany mid sentence. Wait... it wasn't a girl... it just just everyone's favourite cross dressing country, Poland! Poland snatched the microphone off the German (who was now shaking with rage) "like, thanks for coming to this meeting and stuff but there is like, something SUPER CEREAL to discuss, I like, totally found this murdered chick on the floor and she was like, totally drained of her blood! Also I was like having a stroll in America when I decided to take a shortcut through a dark alleyway and I like totally found a body, also drained of blood! only this body didn't have a head!"
Act natural, England thought to himself
"Poland, two random murders in two countries that are aren't even near each other has nothing to do vith zis vorld meeting, go sit down" commanded Germany
"You'll see, I'll become a detective and find this murderer!" Poland demanded
"Vhy do you care so much anyvay?" Germany asked
"Well the murdered girl had like, really nice hair, and the guy with no head COULD have had nice hair but I'll never know CAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE A HEAD!"
"Ja vhatever just go sit back down"

Authors notes

Detective Poland on the case! America Ronald is American and England is acting natuaral! OLÉ!