Warrior Cats: Billypaw's Code

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the concept, or characters, of Warriors by Erin Hunter, which is what this Fanfiction is based off of. Please read and support the author of the Warriors series.

WARNING: This telling has themes of violence, depression, suicidal thoughts, and ptsd. If you are sensitive to any of the above things please leave.

I shifted slightly as Sunflower took off the poultice and discarded it. I Looked at my paws, then quickly looked away as I saw the blood on them, my brother, ash'kit, lying there, horribly mangled, his body lifeless. Tears came to my eyes as I reminded myself that I wasn't back there, it's been a full moon since that day.

"Hey," sunflower's melodic voice broke through my nightmarish thoughts, "maybe you could work in the medicine den with me, it would be hard to be a warrior with that injury."

She glanced to the right side of my face, to the eye I could no longer see out of. I took a breath and shakily got to my feet.

"I can't fight the things that threaten my clan as a medicine cat." I said, hating that my meow came out in a squeak.

I haven't looked at my face yet. I numbly walked to the small pool of water right outside the medicine den, limbs stiff from being stationary for so long. Slowly, I peered down the water, then jumped back, startled at my reflection. Was that seriously what I looked like? I cautiously walked back to the water, accidentally putting my front paw in it.

Vicious scars wrecked the right side of my face, trailed down to my chest and torso. My right eye had some scarring as well, but thankfully my sight hadn't left it. Several more scars marred my body. My shoulder, my left torso side, my back leg. It could be worse. I told myself.

Suddenly a wave of grief washed over me. My heart quickened as I was pulled back to that day. My brother's body lying on the floor. my paws coated in his blood. I closed my eyes and attempted to shake away the memory. I clamped my jaw shut and tried to control my erratic breathing. Sunflower appeared at my side, noticing my predicament.

"even more of a reason to stay in the medicine den."

" I'm not going to be a medicine cat!" I spat, grief honing into wired anger.

My mother, once MistyMountain, now the leader of newly formed MistClan, MistyStar, trotted over to sunflower and I from the clearing.

She slowed down as she neared, and cleared her throat, " is the patient fully healed?"

She didn't even glance at me.

Sunflower had nodded.

"I'll call a meeting then."

How could I ever get my apprentice name without my brother Ashkit at my side? How could I live without my littermate?

"MistyStar-" I called after my mother as she turned away, not sure what I was even going to say.

She whipped around. Her eyes were so full of loathing that I flinched and looked away. Misty'Star stalked up to me, fur puffed up in fury. There was barely a mouse length between us.

"You have no right to speak to me," she trembled with fury.

Her ears turned back, spitting into my face, "when you are responsible for killing my kit!"

"There is no excuse for what you've done!" Misty'Star stood over me, dwarfing my size almost three times over.

I stared in terror. My mouth opened and closed, my voice failing. She thinks I'm responsible for ash'kit's death? Sudden grief hit me like a monster, and I stumbled to the side, eyes fogging in tears. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the memories, but they held on, my stomach turned, and I felt hot. I could hear the thrumming of my heart in my ears. I could barely think. He's not here he's not here he's not here. I swallowed hard. Black spots lined my eyes. When I finally came back to the present, Misty'Star was on the highstone calling for a clan meeting.