Please be proud of me||Wilbur soot angst

Chapter 2

Cw/Tw: ED, self harm, child neglect?, intrusive thoughts, purging.

Wilbur woke up to the sound of gentle knocking on his door.

He said a quick 'come in' as his door opened to reveal his brother Tommy. "Hi Wilby breakfast is ready downstairs" he said sweetly to his older brother.

"Thanks Tommy but I'm not really hungry"lie. He felt bad but he knew it was for a good reason.

There you go lying again
Why are you so stupid
Be smarter
Disgusting
Your fat
Ew
Why would anyone be friends with you
Go to the bathroom
Grab it
You know you want to
Cut
CUT
CUT

them the words were too much, he smiled tightly at his brother before walking past him into the bathroom.

He rummaged through his drawers, finally he grabbed it and felt a tear slide down his face. He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't realise he was crying.

The boy held it tightly in his palm, drawing blood before bringing it up to his wrist and making one cut. That turned into 2, then 4, 6 and finally 8.

1 for being weak
2 for being a disappointment
3 for being fat
4 for making your family worry
5 for the same reason as 2
6 for being mean
7 for not being smart
And 8 for not making your dad proud

He stared down at the crimson liquid ooz out of his arm, seeing all the old and new ones in the process.

He came out of his trance by a knock on the bathroom door and a monotone voice that followed.

"Are you okay Wilbur" the voice held no emotion indicating it was his older brother Techno. "Ye I'm fine" he replied cringing at how his voice sounded and desperately trying to swallow the lump lodged in his throat.

Techno was skeptical but decided to leave it.
Wilbur rinsed his arm under cool water and wrapped them in a bandage before pulling his sleeve over it and walking out her bathroom like nothing had happened.

The voices were content that he listened to them. The cuts clung to the fabric making it really itchy but he couldn't scratch it.

It hurt too much. Mentally and physically. It hurt and he didn't know what to do. All he could do was cry, but that made him feel weak.

He went to his bedroom and lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn't realise he had zoned out until he heard a knock on his door.

"Hey Wil you alright?" It was Phil. Of course it was Phil. "O-oh ye I'm ok" he replied trying not to show the exhaustion in his voice. "Ok but I have been calling you for like 10 minutes." What 10 minutes!! How?! "Oh sorry dad I guess I just zoned out" he tried to laugh.

"Whatever. Anyway dinners ready" he said. "Okay I'll be down now" he replied before hearing his dad's footsteps get faint.

He reluctantly got up and made his way down the stairs to the kitchen. He saw his dad laughing with his brothers.

He frowned but sat down. Phil didn't notice him at first. Of course. Wilbur thought and coughed slightly to get his families attention he had attended to his fathers commands.

"Oh hey Wil your foods over there, help yourself." His dad said, turning back to his brothers. "Oh dad I'm not really hungry" he said rather quietly.

"Well Wilbur I haven't seen you eat in a while so you better get that food" Dadza said quite sternly. Wilbur just quickly nodded, not wanting to be more of a disappointment and walked over to his plate with his head down.

He grabbed it and brought it back to the table. His dad and brothers were just leaving. He ate on his own. He picked at his food while tears threatened to leave his eyes.

Don't cry you baby
Useless
Disappointment
No one's likes you
Fat
Don't eat that food
You know what you'll have to do
Stupid

The words were overwhelming but he kept them to himself, he always did. Nobody cared about him. Not even his own family.

He placed his dish in the sink and made his way past the living room. He heard faint laughs so he decided to go in and wish everyone a goodnight.

As he walked in he overheard his dad saying how proud of Tommy he was. He didn't know what for but he didn't want to ruin his moment and went to bed.

He then remembered what he had done and the guilt washed over him like a tsunami so he raced up the stairs to the bathroom.

The brunette stuck two fingers down his throat, feeling the burning before it overflowed into the toilet. He felt guilty that he wasted the food but if he didn't everyone would leave him because he was fat.
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It had been hours since he ate and had been working on studying for an upcoming test.

He was planning on getting full marks so his dad would be proud of him. He just needed to hear the words. The words his dad told his brothers every day.

It was currently 1 am and he was still working. He memorised everything but thought he could do more. He needed to do more.

Wilbur's family hadn't been in to check on him at all. He knew they didn't care and that he was a disappointment.

When his brother finally knocked he quickly turned his computer off and launched himself into bed just before his brother walked in.

"Wilbur" he whispered. The beanie wearer just pretended to be asleep until he left then got back out of bed to study more.

When the exhaustion caught up to him he went to bed for a good hour of sleep. He knew he didn't need it and he needed to study more but it was taking over his body and he couldn't do anything about it.

So he let it happen, probably going to regret it in the morning.
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Wc:1022
Second chapter, don't rlly like it but it'll have to do
Take care of urself 💞