Her Name is...

Chapter 26

"Shouldn't you be glowing?" Kathy said as she picked me up from the train station. After a long night of being too wrapped up in decisions to sleep and an early morning on the train I was dreading seeing my step-family. Ex-step family. Jay and my half-sister Layla were the second family my mom had tried out. Layla would be about 8 this year and I missed her to death. They had been at the apartment for a few days now and would be staying until New Years. While I was excited to see Layla, and not particularly dreading the expensive gift I knew Jay would buy me I still wanted to be swallowed up by a big hole and turn off my brain. But my mom wouldn't understand, and she would probably just hate Harry even more for it. 

"Just super tired," I told her feigning as bright a smile as I could muster. She didn't look fooled so I relayed my trip to her to try and convince her.

"And they're coming to Toronto in May, they have two dates and said we could go to either one or both, whatever we want" I added at the end. It was weird to think that my mom would finally meet them. It was weird and scary. 

"I was thinking of bringing you on the first night and hanging out backstage and Layla the second night if Jay lets her come down again. She could meet the band and everything" Layla, was a One Direction fan it turned out. Like any self respecting young girl. I was going to tell it to her on Christmas, I didn't have much money that wasn't allocated to my college fund. So outside of simple gifts for a few people I wasn't a big Santa Claus this year. I had left the little knick knacks for the boys this morning. They had enough money to buy whatever they wanted anyways, it was more of a personal gesture. Louis had already called me twice while I was on the train to bitch about the 'emo' black nail polish I had given him. My mom and I never did gifts either. She would always try to scrounge up something for me, like a toy when I was younger, or a trip shopping once I got older. The last few years it had turned into gag gifts. 

"She'll love that" Kathy said. She reached out a hand patting at my hair with a smile on her lips, "my big girl. Merry Christmas Eve" 

The night went well. My mom let me drink wine with dinner so I felt really posh and old. Jay asked me about school and we pretended it wasn't really awkward. Layla was like a beam of sunshine and shot between Kathy and me. In a way it was a weird blended meal, until later.

I was washing dishes while my mom watched Layla, when Jay came in that weird awkward smile on his face as he helped clear up. 

"Thanks" I said as I took some of the plates he gave me. 

"I wanted to talk to you about something Noelle, something I haven't run by Kathy yet because I want it to be your decision" he said suddenly in a low tone. Fuck. More decisions? I had way to many of those. 

"Okay" I replied tentatively. I placed down the washing and turned to face him where he had sat back at the table and gestured me a seat. I sat down uncomfortably. Jay was a nice guy, he was always good to me and my mom. Sent me cards for my birthday, occasionally checked up on me through facebook messenger. He and my mom were together only 3 years, and to my suspicions only because Layla was on the way. But near the end of it we had gotten to know one another a bit, it hurt to leave but I had learned from Chris (the first husband) never to get attached. 

"You know I have a... lucrative job" he said slowly, "I know i'm not your dad, and I know you and your mom are very stubborn when it comes to money. I just... I care about you kid, and i'd like to help you pay for school" 

I wasn't expecting that. I think my mouth was actually open like in the cartoons, because he looked panicked.

"It's just an offer and I know you probably have it all figured out. But, I don't want to see you drowning in student loans and debt for years when I have all this money and nothing to do with it. And we both know Kathy will disagree and say no, and if you want to say no too then I understand. If you want to say yes and you don't want her to know, I understand"