𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚||𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄 (𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐱 𝐎𝐂)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

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𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞...𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭...
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Warning: mention of death, self-harm and suicide

Fire was all that I could see, my mother's house, the house in which I was born, on fire

"My mother, she's in there, please you have to save her!" I cried out at the police who were telling me to back away from the fire

"Ma'am we're doing everything we can, please back away" a policeman said far too calm for my liking.

Lights flashed in front of me and I felt my head spinning before suddenly I thought I was falling

My eyes opened and I sat up, my forehead covered in sweat, heavy breaths escaping my lips. Nightmares, again...

Five AM read the clock that was on the cream bedroom wall

Laying back down I sighed, why are they coming back?

I used to have nightmares the first month after I lost my mother, on the best days I could only hear what was going on, while on the worse days I could feel the heat of the fire that came from the house, even though I was far away from it.

I sometimes still blame myself for my mother's death. The day it happened Snape called me in for an emergency meeting regarding one of the Death Eaters who betrayed us, I told my mother to come with me but she insisted on staying home and wait for me to get back.

My mother is just as stubborn as I am, so there was no point in arguing with her...but now that I think about it, I should've insisted.

I got out of bed, and decided to take a warm shower to cast away the dream and all the guilty thoughts that I had running through my head.

I stood in the shower as the water ran down my body before looking at my wrists, deep cuts all over them.

Pathetic. Weak. Stupid.

This is what I thought every time I saw them. It happened a week after my mother died, for a bit of background I only had her in my life since my father couldn't've bothered to take responsibility over me and my mom, so when I lost her I felt like I lost everything, like there was no reason for me to live.

So I tried to end my life, and it would've worked if someone didn't call the ambulance. To this day I don't know who that person was due to the fact that I was passed out and couldn't hear anything around me.

All these memories made my knees go weak, so I sat on the shower floor, my knees brought to my chest as I started crying, the water still hitting my skin.

"I can't do this" I muttered to myself as I thought about the deal that I had with Snape.

I loved and still love my mother, I'd walk to the end of the world to find who wanted to kill her, but I wasn't ready to give my body for that, even though I thought I was.

You know, I always thought that the shower was the best place to cry and contemplating your life choices, which is true to some extent.

As I was looking up at the ceiling, I heard someone knock on the door

"Who is it?" I called out, turning the water down so that I could hear the person properly

"Lucius" he replied "Severus is asking for you"

"I'll be out in a moment" I said after which Lucius left the room, since I heard his footsteps getting quieter and quieter.

It's now or never Aurora, you have to tell him you can't do it, he'll understand...right?