"People are worried about violent TV shows when really it's Master Chef you need to worry about." -girl in my psych class
"I either have to do math or nothing. And I don't wanna do math." -different girl in my psych class
Hayden: *about my tea kettle with googly eyes* "I feel like I'm being stared down."
Me: "Don't worry, he's not judging you, he's just figuring out if he likes you."
Hayden: "...I feel like that's the definition of judgement."
"Freshalicious." -one of our RAs
"I need to be the most fuckable person at this tea party." -a friend of Seph's roommate
"I have a lot of boob contraptions." -Seph's roommate
"I have a titty arsenal." -Seph's roommate
Hayden: "How do you say 'knife'?"
Dani: *whispers while miming holding a knife* ".........Adios!"
"I'm going to school to look pretty and play pretend." -Seph's roommate
Seph: *signing aggressively*
Dani: "NO HABLO ESPAÑOL?!?!"
"I need the crunch of iceberg lettuce. I need to like, eat an iceberg." -guy in the dining hall
*calls someone just to say* "Hey check your texts," *and then immediately hangs up without a response* -guy in my Philo class
"New style of fashion: Business alcoholic?" -my brother
"Why is it so funny when cats have tails?" -my brother
"Finders keepers, VIRGIN." -my brother
"Wow this is boring. Also there's a lot of porn on this site." -my sister
Hayden: "I wanna drink the olive oil."
Me: "Do not drink the olive oil."
Hayden: "I'm thirsty."
Me: "Drink water, you heathen!"
Hayden: "I don't have water."
Me: "Get water, you heathen!"
Hayden: "You just don't even love me."
Me: "Yeah okay."
Hayden: *mishearing me* "NO I'M NOT OKAYYYY." *falls to the floor*
Me: "Hufflepride."
A different RA: "Did you say pufflecrack?"
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College Quotes
Não Ficçãothings that people around me have said, including myself. welcome to college guys, it does weird things to your brain and sentences.
