Like Snow[MINSUNG Mafia AU]

15

"seventeen days " whispered as soon as jisung woke up. He had been counting days since Felix left, since Minho cut him out since no one had time for him.

He understood that everyone was busy but he just wanted someone to tell him that everything will be fine. He just missed Felix and changbin's company. They would always watch movies with him.

Before even Hyunjin would be there for him but the day Hyunjin confessed to jisung and jisung said they could just be friends, Hyunjin started looking for a rebound.

Hyunjin started using seungmin. He desperately wanted to get over jisung and seungmin was the best option. He wasn't in love was what he told everyone but deep down he knew it was nothing like friendship between them.

Jeongin had his eyes so fixated on Chan that he barely noticed anyone same went for Chan but he did check on jisung sometimes.

The person he wanted by his side even refused to talk with him.

He opened his phone and checked the messages. It was Felix and Hyunjin. And it was Minho.

Jisung had asked him if he was free to go out today but he got a straight' no I m busy'

'What was I even expecting ' thought jisung and got out of his bed.

He took a quick shower and went down to eat. He settled for cereals with blueberries.

He checked the time and it was 2 pm. He went to the living room to find Chan and Minho watching some show.

Jisung couldn't help it. All his emotions took over him. He kept the cereal bowl in from if them on the table.

"Min... really? didn't you say you were busy when I asked you to go to the park? Now you have time to watch shows with Chan hyung."

"Jisung listen-" Minho was cut off.

"you always cut me off min. Let me talk for this once. I 'll tell you how I have been holding up all these weeks when I say I like you but you shrug it off like anything and tell me you are busy."

"Every time you told me next time, I always said 'it's ok' but it was never ok you know. I always watched you walk off for someone else."

"I am having a real hard time since you all found me that day after I was kidnapped. I know everyone is busy but I didn't ask for something big. I just wanted c-company" he was so close to dropping a tear.

"you know I went on dates alone probably thinking it was you. As you love dancing, I rented a dance studio and sat on the floor alone. Of course, I can't dance so I imagined it was you showing me your choreography." Minho saw the sadness in his eyes.

"next date I went to your favourite restaurant and ordered red wine and your favourite lunch set and had it alone thinking I was enjoying it with you." Jisung knew he would spill tears anytime but he continued.

"do you remember the day when there were daisies in front of your room?" asked minho waiting for a response. Minho nodded.

"Those were from me. And do you remember the day there was a tub of cookie and cream ice cream in the fridge with a sticky note that said ' for minho'?

It was from me. I went to our favourite ice cream parlour and bought 2 tubs of ice cream. 1 for you 1 for me." Jisung hadn't realized that the other three members has gathered around but he didn't care today.

" I have been asking you to come with me to visit the lake at the hilltop but you told me you disliked them and wouldn't want to do. I understood.

But then the exact next day, you went there with Chan hyung and came home with a bunch of polaroids. "

"you know hyung I went out to the beach the same day ... even I took many polaroids thinking it was you beside me.

I even drew a doodle on one polaroid and wrote 'us'. Does it not sound sad to you?" Jisung's eyes were now betraying him. He had tears but jisung blinked them back.

" and do you know every time you leave me here alone and go out for missions... I pray that it's not the last time I see you.

When you come home hurt I just wished that I could hurt for you instead... I - I care for yo-u that much and yet you say it is just an insignificant lov-e" his breathing hitched and a tear slipped his eyes but he was still not done.

"I have cried myself to sleep thinking that ... does he hold your hand the way I want to? And does he bring you two more closer every time you have your moment?

And does he tell you all his worries and place them on your shoulders? when it gets dark does he cuddle you to sleep? when he opens his eyes, does he find you beside him?"

"sung, calm down-" said Hyunjin going to hold the boy but stopped when he heard the reply.

"stay out of this Hyunjin"

"I can't put myself to sleep thinking does he get to kiss your lips? Does he get to listen to your heartbeat under the blankets? Also, do you share all your dreams with him that you held under that pillow of yours ?"

"Does your heart wants him when it thunders outside? Do you think of him first when it snows? And do you place your forehead in front of his lips wanting a kiss?" Minho heard the pain in his voice. Jisung was a crying mess.

"But it's okay. I don't blame you Chan hyung. " said jisung looking at Chan.

"I'll stay away, far away, and keep loving you from a distance. Just for this love of mine, I will let you go. And again it's just an insignificant love of mine where it's me who needs to imagine all t-the events and be happy just like other da-ates." He broke down.

"It was my mistake to stay when I should have left a long time back. I stayed just to get you to see you every fucking day cause you were my reason to keep going after all that happened when I was kidnapped. "

"I wanted to quit that time but here I m because of you. This goddamn heard of mine is so stubbor-n"

Hyunjin went and hugged him.

"Does this not hurt you e-even a b-bit?" Jisung managed to speak between his sobs.

"It's better if you leave" said Minho with a heavy voice.

'You need to stay by my side'

"you really want me to leave and have it o-over" Jisung couldn't believe his ears. Tears were not stopping now.

"we had nothing to begin with" Minho was having a hard time saying it.

'I m sorry I have to do this'

Jisung couldn't stand it anymore. He went to his room and packed the necessary things. He went to the laundry room to get his few hoodies.

In the process, he took Minho's beige sweater and packed it with his stuffs.

He walked down into the living room. He looked at the faces of the other boys. He missed changbin and Felix as Minho had sent them to stay at Changbin's house.

"Jinnie,can I borrow your car? I will send it back to you tomorrow."

"sure" said Hyunjin passing him the keys.

Before leaving , he looked at Minho and asked "has anyone ever told you that you are like snow?"

Minho shook his head.

"you are like snow so beautiful, yet so cold"

Jisung walked out leaving a wound on Minho's heart.

Stay whispered Minho but Jisung was gone by that time.

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i got sad while writing this:(