Seven Thousand

CHAPTER 8

Not edited

Everyone has some opinion about depression like depression  is worst feeling, it's  about being hopeless in every aspect of life but what I feel about depression is it's just nothingness, you don't feel happy or excited about anything, need to feel something is emergency, person can go so far for that, physical pain is one of the answers. If you ask sucidal people  why they have these very bad urge to cut themselves they will tell you the answer. To feel something to feel anything, ooze out  pain physically  that is present mentally.

That's how I felt . Alone in the crowd, with nothingness Evan says I act like some dumb shy girl but he doesn't know that I was always dumb shy girl but he made me bold but when we broke up I was shell of person. These shy girl in me protected me and I embraced her. I always want be in crowd, never want to alone. Just  the feeling of being alone kills me. Fuck .I forgot the appointment to my therapist. Evan was the whole reason for skipping my appointment. I almost forgot that because I was thinking too much about him. If I knew he was here in Orlando I would have just  packed my bags and left. And next what drop out from college and forget about scholarship, about getting out of Florida , flea to  NY.
Alex also had no hard feelings for me because somewhere I knew he was doing it to provoke Evan. Gosh I hated this games. Evan must know that Alex could feel something between both of us.Alex was person who  can easily gain information about people he wanted to so I had to keep my mouth shut, I didn't wanted to be pawn he wanted me to become. Why Evan wasn't getting that. Why was he made it obvious about his thoughts.He taught me all this, to be manipulator.

Here I was pretending to be dumb in reality I was not . I know what was I doing . I think about what would have happened if didn't meet Evan in Jacksonville in summer break. He was not wrong for hating him coz I really stalked him badly not knowing that life is full of circle.

(Six months before)
"Dad I told you for the thousandth time that don't want volunteer in  any summer camp"
" Your mom has some work related to her graphic design; she has to meet the the clients in Savanah and for me I have to visit my mother so we both won't be here . "

" But I don't want to hangout with  the kids I can manage alone here! I got my friends here."

Summer camps are boring plus sometimes kids can literally be headaches. It's not like I hated kids but it can be exhausting. After summer break I have new semester so it's the only break that I can enjoy.
But mom wanted me to volunteer I don't know why and it's not like I can deny her.
" You will be living with your Nana so we don't have to worry about you being lonely in home. "

My nana lived in Jacksonville, she always loved me alot cause I was her only granddaughter and had told my mom  visit her at every occasion she could.  This was right time for my mom to make me spend time with my Nana. After my grandpa died my nana was lonely.  So she bought the beach house and parties like Miley Cyrus! Shes so cool sometimes cooler than mom. Now mom has some work and she doesn't want me to  be  alone in Orlando so she wants me go the Jacksonville.

 " ok. I'm ready! its not like I don't miss the Nana but I don't want to go to these summer camp! " I said
" Your mom and I have noticed that you are just sitting here doing absolutely nothing  so we have decided that you should  volunteer  in this camp ,it will keep you active and healthy . You can thank me letter cherry pie! "
With that my dad left.

So now I have no other options . I got my laptop from the table and started searching  their official website I wanted to check what my mom has got me into . I clicked on icon and  there were 15 - 20 children from ten to fifteen years of age doing all sorts of activities like bonfire beach volleyball, kickball, swimming and many on site activities then I was scrolling down and I opened gallery, there I saw the most beautiful man in my  entire life. I gasped. I clicked on more photos, there were photos of this guys laughing with kids having fun and  it was ethereal. He had warmest pair of blue eyes with equally gorgeous plump lips and jaw line so sharp. It's really shallow to fall for someone just for  the way they look bit I can't help but  have giant crush on him. He looks roughly around my age so maybe I can get to know him better.

After I saying good bye to mom and dad When I  went my Nanas home she was thrilled to have me. We partied till noon and off course I was minor so she only gave me lemonade and nana drank shots of Martini.

In the next morning  when I was trimming extra  grass in the front I heard something.
  " Are you still waiting for that Ana girl? "
Usually I didn't like poking my nose in other people's life but I don't know why I stopped working and just gazed at neighborhood. I was shocked. The guy I whose face I had seen on that website was right in front of me. He was on neighbouring  lawn listening to what other guy was saying.

" And what if I am? '
My crush answered question with question.

" Dude how many times have I told you, Ana left the you 5 years ago. Shes never coming back! "
Another guy argued with him.

Ok so who is this Ana girl and why is he waiting for her? I wanted to know everything about her coz why not, so hid in the corner and started listening to conversation like perv.

"Listen, Conan She promised me, that every summer  she'll  come to visit me Jacksonville. "
He validly told the Conan guy.

" Are you kidding me Evan ? You  both were like 15 when you said those stupid things to each other! Ana winters is never coming back."

So his name is Evan.

Conan tried make him understand
I think Ana must be his first childish love
I mean first love. Poor guy he was in denial that his first love left him  probably forgot about him. Evan was looking like kicked puppy he was bouncing his right leg constantly which denotes he was anxious. My first crush was not only beautiful but also cute.

" I know it feels so unreal coz we started  talking to each other because of  chess? And honestly she was just so easy to speak with it was like  I was looking at other half of me. I felt kind of genuine connection with her."
Evan declared his love for the Ana girl.

Guy like him who can pull any girl is stuck on some mediocre girl ,universe must be playing some sort of sick joke. Evan is really fool like girls would be dying to date guy like him and here he is

" Listen, you haven't even met each other  for like once! Are you living in your imaginary world? And who even talks  to stranger in online games? What if she is  not who you thought she was? What if someone was just joking around?worse what if it's dude? That would would be hilarious! "

WHAT. I gasped loudly and thanks to my clumsiness I accidentally kicked grass trimmer. Evan and Conon looked at the source of  that sound before they notice me I held my hand over my mouth and
I crouched down. So they continued there conversation.