The Innocent (A 'Finder' Fanfiction)

Shadow of Pluto - 16 - Fei Long

He brushed his lips across Mikhail's cheek while the other lay heavily on top of him, trying to catch his breath. It was uncomfortable like this, actually, but he did not want to move. His arms pulled the other close, rejecting to ever let go.

But at some point, he had to. The other lifted himself up just a slight bit and gazed down upon him. Mikhail smiled at him from inches away, then kissed him again.

There was something warm in his heart that didn't have anything to do with the sex or the exertion. It felt more like the cold, hard glimmer that had nested in there had for once dissolved ...

Fei Long swallowed hard when the other man already stood up and therefore did not notice it. With weak limbs, he followed, pulling himself upwards to sit on the table once more.

The Russian had stored away his cock behind the fly of his jeans, then grabbed the other man's shirt off the ground and helped Fei Long back into it, though that was pretty unnecessary. All the buttons had been torn from their threads anyway.

"You need to stop ripping my shirts apart", he whispered to the blonde one, who just shook his head with a broad smile.

"Never. I'll just buy you some new ones."

"That's very lavish, isn't it?"

Mikhail rolled his eyes as if he didn't even know what that word meant.

He knelt down next, grabbed Fei Long's trousers and helped him back into them, pushing them up inch by inch onto his long legs, until he could finally pull up the fly and close the button.

Fei Long's hands reached for those golden curls and brushed through them tenderly. Not getting back on his feet, Mikhail looked up at him.

"I am sorry", the Chinese whispered. "I am sorry if I hurt you. It is not my intention to."

The Russian blinked slowly and drew in a deep breath.

"That's good to know", he answered, still staring up and obviously enjoying those fingers twirling through his hair.

"You said I was stupid, and I guess I am –"

"I did not say you are stupid. I asked you if you were?", the one on his knees interrupted at once.

"Um ... then the answer is yes, I guess", Fei Long admitted. He lifted his shoulders a tiny bit and let them sink again. It was all a lie, however, in some way. No, he was not genuinely stupid. He understood what Mikhail felt for him and why he turned to the Russian whenever he craved some warmth or some hands that were not afraid to handle him yet would not really hurt him ... He was just scared. Scared of admitting to any of it. Scared of being tossed away and betrayed again.

But those blue eyes shining up at him right now ... If they could ever betray him, then there was definitely no reason to spend another second in this world anymore.

It was stupid to think that way. There it was yet again: Stupid!

It was stupid to rely on anybody as much as that. He had before, and he had found nothing but despair ... and nearly his own death.

However, this very likely was the last hurdle, and the last chance. He had assumed before that the world held nothing for him and if Mikhail betrayed him, then that believe would be finally proven true. But what if Mikhail didn't? What if his doubts with his own existence had in the end led him straight into the arms of the one man who would never allow him to be hurt again?

Slightly, he brushed across the other man's cheeks with his fingers. Then he could not resist anymore. He got down onto his knees and kissed the Russian. He threw his arms around him and pulled him close, and before long he was lying on his back, with Mikhail on top of him once more.