Gaslighter

15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬

2021

          I was certain I'd never been colder in my life.

          Even though it was still November and there was an entire month to go before the official start of winter, I couldn't, for the life of me, stop shaking. My teeth were chattering uncontrollably, slamming against each other so badly I feared one or two would chip, and I gripped the steering wheel so tightly I wondered if it would ever shatter in my hands. The weather was abysmal, making me drive up the highway with little to no visibility, and the heating system in my car and my heavy coat and scarf did next to nothing to keep me warm. I'd been warned about the weather forecast and the impending snowstorm that would make driving around an actual living hell, and yet, there I was.

          I found some solace in the promise of a warm drink and a warm cabin as soon as I arrived upstate, not to mention Chase would probably already be there by that time. It wasn't an ideal plan, seeing as I wouldn't be able to park right outside the cabin for the sake of secrecy and keeping the appearances, meaning I'd still have to walk there and subject myself to the frost outside, but, in my head, the ends somehow justified the means. I was dreading it like a weary Monday, though, barely able to feel my hands under my gloves inside the car.

          Even if I wanted to start bawling, I wouldn't be able to. The minute I stepped out of the car, a harsh gust of wind slammed right into my chest, knocking me back against my rearview mirror. It dug into my spine, shooting electricity up my nerves, and I stumbled to the side, landing into the piles of snow my feet had sunk into, and didn't find the strength to get back up. I felt utterly pathetic, curled against the car in an attempt to conserve the slightest bit of heat, with the rest of my body so unbearably frozen it was crystallizing, despite knowing the longer I stayed, the higher the likelihood of me never leaving this place. I didn't want to leave Chase hanging, either.

          Supporting myself on my luggage, I slowly rose from the frozen ground and steadied my feet. It took every ounce of strength in energy left in me to do so, but, somehow, I'd put myself back together in no time. I couldn't waste any precious time patting myself on the back for doing the bare minimum, however, and used the sudden rush of adrenaline to gather my bags and push through the snowstorm. 

          I'd parked the car in a communal parking lot, so I wasn't the only person there, but I'd been the only one stupid enough to stay outside during a storm, which explained why no one had popped up around the corner to help me. No one should be outside under this weather, not even me, but I knew this was what I had to do, and the end result would justify everything. I'd only have to put up with this for a few more months, with graduation peeking right at me, and I was already reaching out for it like my life depended on it. Soon, this would all be over.

          The wind was brutal, making the hike to the cabin a lot more strenuous than it should be, and I couldn't even walk with my arms closed because of all the bags I was carrying. I was probably carrying a lot more stuff than I'd need for the holidays, and it wasn't like we'd ever go anywhere with the weather like this—or ever, really—and there was no way in hell I'd need that many clothes, but I'd packed my bags in a rush, terrified Ingrid and Savannah would see it and start asking questions I couldn't answer. Had they not been in a hurry to leave before the storm hit, I knew I wouldn't have gotten away with things as smoothly as I had; hell, Ingrid might have even wanted to tag along with me.

          I could hardly believe my eyes when I finally spotted the cabin, with the lights inside turned on, and the warmth it already seemed to radiate. Chase had probably lit up the fireplace, in an attempt to bring in some heat to a place he never set foot in during most of the year, and I trudged through the snow with progressively stronger, faster steps. The front door materialized itself in front of me as though it was magic, an enchanted land from all those books I'd been reading, from all those movies my degree had made me watch, and I pressed a finger against the doorbell, fearing Chase wouldn't hear it if I knocked. He'd closed the curtains on the front side of the house, probably to hide me from view, but there wasn't anyone else outside and there probably wouldn't be until the storm subsided. However, I wouldn't be the one to complain; I was already pushing my luck by having been invited to stay here for the holidays, after all.