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~ I can't stop feeling
I never will
If I don't feel I wouldn't remember why I'm alive
"Why are you alive?"
Because this life is for me and they're trying to either kill me or push me to kill myself
People scare me
They say "you can't be emotional like that"
Then proceed to kill cause they're angry
Beat they children because they're angry
Wish death upon others because they're angry
What the fuck do you mean "don't be emotional" when you can never stop feeling?
You never will
Even the absence of emotions is an emotion
If someone hurts you
If someone does something you think is wrong
You cannot fix them
Leave them alone because you'll only be hurting them more
And in hurting them you're really just wishing they're finally good
Leave them alone because you're a sobbing child on the inside
You're the one who needs to cry and be looked after
They don't need a lesson from you
They don't need rules about how to be from you
Their own emotional system is supposed to heal them, not a person wishing to mold and control them
You can never control healing
It's all about expression and being allowed to exist as you are
You can't shame someone into not being themselves
You'll only watch them get better at not being themselves around you
Just because you decided they aren't worth your love as they are
Doesn't make it the truth
It's valid to be afraid
It's valid to want control
We just don't want to get hurt
We don't know that we are loved and looked after
We don't know if God created us with a flaw in design or if these feelings and thoughts are meant to heal us
We don't know yet that everything is a cycle and we can let the water flow because it will always go where it belongs
We don't trust god
We don't trust our bodies and minds
This earth is fine but these people scare me
They are so against each other they don't even realize they MADE the rules that are hurting them
Question this:
What does "justice" even mean?
That both parties must get hurt instead of us actually exploring what it means to live beyond our mistakes?
To integrate the bad thing that we do?
Oh but surely they think suffering is the most meaningful thing
What is family?
If a child has to be forced to create their own safety in an unsafe home and be bound to them by "respect", "debt", and "blood" for society says it wouldn't want to witness otherwise.
Society stands to watch all forms of connections and relationships fracture even further, it endures watching failure after failure only because we fear to explore what is being the uncertainty of putting down a bad tool, taking a deep breath in, and going in slowly with wiser intentions, flexibility, and care.
People scare me because they assume we already figured out how life works
People scare me because they don't understand emotions and they follow the norms blindly
All you need is to feel
Let those bloody waves of fear hit you
Feel your heart almost stop
Feel your hair fall out and your soul wants to run away
Those are sensations
This is a compass
Refocus, redirect, breathe and carry yourself with care
This is going somewhere
You just don't see it yet
"I'm scared of doing something wrong"
"I know baby, I'm here with you"
"I'm scared someone will walk in and mock me, I'm scared they'll laugh at me or punish me"
If we all admit what we're scared of we'll realize we really just fear each other
The more we heal and if we invest in understanding how we hurt each other and therefore how to stop it then there will be no enemy
There will be no fear of living together
There will be openness and space to connect
Isn't that the peace every religion wanted?
Except with no rules, no shame or oppression?
Just understanding and caring for the human nature
For all nature
We have the power
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