I'm sitting in bed. Every part of me urging me to write so I'm going to cut the imagery short.
It's 12:58, 1/16/22, a SundayI was reading an amazing book Are You Okay? By tiarobinswrites and I'm in love with it. It also inspired me to write something.
People have common traits, one being that we don't really talk about things with people who can't relate to them or understand them. This can Include many things, such as food, places, TV shows, sports.... Mental health.
I was talking with someone telling them they just wouldn't understand some things.
They asked why and I explained to them they don't read what I read write what I write experience what I experience. They don't feel how I feel.
Well, they took it as an insult, normal human nature I guess. So I explained to them they don't understand my book talk like I don't understand their video games.
Really, at first I was talking about other things but I covered it up. Another human trait, to cover up/hide things when we think others won't understand.
With mental health we don't think others will understand. We know they won't actually. You tell somethings to some people sure, but you only tell a fraction of what happens. Sometimes you dont even understand how much their is to say because it's buried under the depth of your mind where you try to hide it from everyone including yourself.
To answer your question Tia Robins, no, I'm not okay.
I disguise my feelings with laughter and smiles.
I hides my feelings with talking about things Im proud of. Such as my book.
I don't want to admit what I already know.
Honestly part of me always feels guilty, saying I'm not okay. Because theres others who have it worse. But there's others who have it better. I feel like I'm lying to myself saying Im fine. I feel like I'm throwing a fit when I want to die.
Is this what you define as normal? What label are you going to choose next world?
I'm rambling now, not really sure of the point of this. I guess I'm just frustrated with the world, with myself.
But to answer your question
I'm not okay
I don't know whats wrong
No I don't want to talk about it
No I don't need your help
Yes I'm fine..
I will surviveNow answer my question, who's really okay here?
YOU ARE READING
Random Thoughts...
RandomJust some random thoughts of mine, I know I am crazy no need to point it out. #1 in mymind 1/30/22