Longing

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Lan Zhan wandered through the rain-soaked streets, visiting every place he and Wei Ying had once frequented. His heart ached with each step, the memories of their time together replaying in his mind like a bittersweet symphony.

"**Wei Ying, where are you?**" he whispered to the empty air, his voice trembling with the weight of his sorrow. "**Do you hate me that much? Please come back...**"

The rain began to pour harder, masking the tears that streamed down his face. Lan Zhan looked up at the darkened sky, his thoughts a storm of regret and longing.

"**I'm sorry that I betrayed you, and I'm sorry that I didn't trust you.**" His voice cracked, and he fell to his knees. "**Wei Ying... I need you in my life. Please come back.**"

The rain continued to fall, a relentless torrent that mirrored his inner turmoil. He cried until his heart felt hollow, the rain washing away his tears but not the pain.

 He cried until his heart felt hollow, the rain washing away his tears but not the pain

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"**Wei Ying, it's my fault that I drove you away. It's my fault that I didn't protect you again, even though I promised I would.**" He clutched his chest, feeling the emptiness where Wei Ying's presence once filled his life. "**You gave me a second chance, and I wasted it. Please forgive me. I love you so much.**"

Lan Zhan's mind drifted back to the moments they had shared, the times he had tried to show his love through actions, only to realize too late that words were what Wei Ying had needed.

"**I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you break into Cloud Recesses, since our first fight. I love the way you teased and smiled at me.**" He closed his eyes, remembering the mischievous glint in Wei Ying's eyes. "**Wei Ying, I need you in my life. Please come back to me. I'll make it up to you. I'll marry you this time, and I won't leave you alone.**"

He thought of A-Yuan, their adopted son, who had grown distant since Wei Ying's departure. "**A-Yuan and I are still waiting for you. Do you know A-Yuan is cold to me now?**" He sighed, feeling the weight of his mistakes. "**The juniors miss you, Wei Ying. So do I... Please... Please... come back to me.**"

Wei Ying's Reflection

In his room on Celestial Mountain, Wei Ying sat by the window, gazing out at the peaceful scenery. His mind was far from calm, however. He thought of the juniors, wondering how they were faring without him. He missed them dearly.

"**Lan Zhan...**" he murmured, his heart heavy with unresolved emotions. "**How could you do that to me? I trusted you with all my life. You were my soulmate, and I am yours, even if you never told me how you truly felt.**"

He sighed deeply, the memories of their last night together bringing both warmth and pain. "**Or was I just assuming things?**"

Wei Ying's hand moved instinctively to his abdomen, where their child was growing. "**How can I still love you this much even after you destroyed me? That night we shared... it was one of the best nights of my life. I'll treasure it forever.**"

He closed his eyes, imagining Lan Zhan's reaction if he knew about the baby. "**Lan Zhan, did you know you will be a father soon? We are going to be fathers. Will you be able to accept them if you find out?**"

His thoughts turned bitter. "**Why did you betray me? Was I not good enough for you?**" Tears welled up in his eyes as he struggled to find peace in his heart.

"**I will treasure your gift to me, Lan Zhan, even if you hate me. Our baby will be happy and loved. My family will protect and love our baby. We won't need you or your family.**"

Wei Ying stood up, resolute in his decision. "**The next time we see each other, we will be enemies. From this moment, I will forget about you and move on with our baby.**"

He took a deep breath, feeling the finality of his words.

"**I'm sorry and thank you, Lan Zhan. Goodbye.**"

As Wei Ying stared out into the horizon, he felt a strange mix of sorrow and hope. The path ahead was uncertain, but he knew he had to walk it for the sake of their child. The chapter of Lan Zhan in his life might be closing, but a new one was just beginning.

Rewritten and Revised Version
July 19 2024
Original Published date
Jan 16 2022

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