Infamous For Something So Pure

Mary's Pierced Heart

Dean cries looking at Cas' mutilated body hanging from the stone wall. The pain of this event causes Dean to vomit on the cold cement floor. Someone once told Mary that her heart would be pierced by a knife, that's how Dean feels. His heart feels like it has been cut into a million pieces. Watching this happen to Cas was nothing less than torture in it's self. He didn't need Crowley to touch him to know what it was like to be in Cas' place. When Crowley took the knife to Cas' arm he wasn't just carving the word into Cas he was carving it into Dean as well. He could feel the broken nose, the broken feet, every single cut on Castiel, Dean can feel it. He is being ripped from the inside out.
"What were you thinking Cas?" Dean shouts at his body through his never ending sobs.
"What would Dean do?" Dean hears a soft voice call to him. He looks over his shoulder to see the ghost of his close friend Kevin. He wipes away his tears and looks back again. Kevin sits in the chair that Dean once sat in and watches as Dean stumbles to his feet and makes it to the opposing chair.
"Kevin?" Dean says in a raspy voice.
"Dean, he'll be ok I think he wanted you to know that." Kevin says as he keeps away from eye contact.
"No he won't." Dean mumbles as he looks at his hands.
"What do you mean?"
"All of Heaven is after Cas, and so is all of Hell. He can't survive in Purgatory."
"He did it once before." Kevin whispers back.
"When he was pulled out by an angel. Kevin he is in the place where he was kicked out of."
"How do you know?"
"Because he belongs there!" Dean shouts as he stands from the steel chair. Dean glares down at Kevin, "Castiel deserves to be in Heaven. He deserves all he can get and more. He belongs where the angels are because he is one!"
"Dean, he was trying to tell you the whole time he was here he's not an angel anymore. Stop acting like he is one." Kevin says softly to Dean.
"He is an angel. He was and always shall be an angel. Kevin, don't tell me what he saw in himself, because every time I saw him I saw an angel. A gift from The Lord himself. He was my angel, and no one can tell me differently!" Dean shouts at Kevin then gets up and limps his way upstairs to his room. The second he opens the door He sees Kevin sitting on his bed.
"Get out!" He shouts as he throws himself onto his bed.
"I can't I am a ghost."
"You left to give me that note." Dean barks back.
"I can't leave like that anymore, it drained so much energy from me."
"Then tell me was it worth it, I mean was it really worth it? To see me fall in love with someone who you knew was going to die." Kevin paces the room.
"I tried to tell him, I'm sorry Dean I really am."
"There's nothing you can do now." Dean spits.
"Dean-"
"Get out, Kevin!" He walks over to the doorway.
"To answer your question.... it was worth it. I would do it again if it meant that you could see Cas again.....just so you could tell him what he never heard." After that Kevin just disappeared and the door slammed shut.
Dean is alone now, he is alone with the most dangerous thing in the world. Something that could rip him to shreds. Something that is strong enough to control him, and push him right off the edge. Dean is alone with his thoughts. They eat him up and spit him out. They put him in a blender and watch him get cut up. They laugh while he cries. They smile when he feels dead inside. His thoughts alone could kill him.
Dean doesn't want to be alone but he doesn't want just anyone to be near him, he wants Cas. He can hear the voices taunting him in his mind. Dean closes his eyes and dares them to do their worst. Dean isn't alone with his thoughts, no, his thoughts are alone with him.
Somehow Dean drifts off to sleep, waking every half hour or so to realize that the bed, other than him, is empty. He doesn't cry anymore, Cas rarely did, he just hopes. At one in the morning Dean leaves the bunker and finds a crossroad somewhere. He buries a small container in the center after painting a pentagram on the broken up gravel. Soon enough a young woman appears in don't of him with a short black dress on. Her eyes flash red and she gives of a putrid smell.
"Dean Winchester, the boss said we would be seeing you soon."
"Boss?"
"I'm on Crowley's team after all he is the King." She hisses and gives Dean a quick wink before moving her hair off of her shoulders.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that."
"What do you want Dean?" The demon says immediately, quickly wiping the smile from his face.
"You know what I came here for." He says taking a step closer to her, she lets out a sigh.
"I want to here you say it." She says licking her lips with a dark flame growing in her eyes. Dean rolls his eyes and takes another step closer to the demon. She tenses up and tries to move back but she is unable to. She looks down at the pentagram surrounding her.
"What did you expect?" Dean asks.
"Nothing more nothing less." The demon tries to hold her own and show that she is not scared, when really she is fearing what awaits for her back in Hell.
"Give me what I want and maybe you'll end up back in Hell." Dean flips a knife around in his hand. He gazes down at the blade then glances back up at the crossroad demon. She shifts her eyes away from his.
"I can't." She hisses.
"What?"
"We can't get in to Heaven no one can! How do you expect us to get his soul?"
"Find away!"
"Let me out of here, Hunter maybe you'll leave without a scratch." Dean laughs to himself, and throws the knife into her stomach. She falls to the ground and Dean kneels down beside her.
"Can you get me what I want?"
"No."
"Pointless." Dean slits her throat and leaves her body to rot inside the pentagram.