I Won't Mind (BWWM)(#Wattys2015)

Octavia: Bloodstream

I'm an idiot. He has a fiancee. A fiancee that doesn't like me and is trying to cut me out of their lives. I told her I hoped she succeeded yet, I gave myself to him. We made such passionate love to one another that it surely had to be a crime. I helped him cheat on his fiancee and I feel so conflicted. I feel bad for Natalie being sucked into all of this but on the other hand I feel ecstatic to have shared the ultimate level of intimacy with the man I love, am in love with. This makes me question our relationship even more. I don't know what this means.

He's still asleep in the same position he was when I fell asleep, facing me cuddled close holding my hands. I just looked, really looked at him for the first time. I knew he was beautiful but to take in everything, flaws in all, made it all the more true. He looks so peaceful and content like the quiet before the storm. A storm. A storm can leave a trail of devastation and destruction. That is what's heading our way. When his fiancee finds out he'll be in deep shit with myself right alongside him.

She does not even have to try to trash my reputation because I already did when I made love with her fiancee. I love him though and I honestly, do not regret last night. I just wish that we wouldn't have to hurt Natalie even if she hasn't been very pleasant for me to be around. I was so swapped up in my thoughts that I did not know that Keyton had woken up and was staring at me. "Good morning darling", he said, his voice deeper and rougher startling me. I jumped a little and he just chuckled pecking me on the lips twice before letting go of my hands. He smiled at me, that smile that i've come to know as a special one reserved only for me, and got out of bed nakeder than the day he was born. I was tracing every dip and curve of his body with my eyes when he cleared his throat. My eyes met his amused and aroused ones. He was smirking that sexy lopsided smirk of his that made me want to pull him down on the bed and repeat last night until our hearts were content. I cleared my throat mentally ridding myself of the lustful fog that clouded it.

"Good morning bub", I responded staring him in the eyes as his slowly darkened more by the second. He bit his bottom lip smiling, "Like what you see baby?", he teased wiggling his eyebrows. I laughed, "You're so full of yourself babe", I said. He had got that mischievous glint in his eyes and I instantly prepared myself for his response. "You mean like you were last night?", he asked. I rolled my eyes looking away from him and I just so happened to look in the direction of my dresser mirror. I heard him snicker, I felt the bed dip when he climbed back into bed, and I felt him press up against me but I was focused on my reflection. I was staring at the woman in the mirror. I was looking at the way she glowed, the way her eyes shined, the marks she had on her neck, chest, and collarbone. Now I was looking at the woman and the man in he mirror.

They made a beautiful pair. Her golden complexion against his creamy white one, his blue eyes meeting her dark brown ones, his naturally curly but straightened caramel hair to her naturally curly dark brown hair. I watched him pull down the sheet she was covering her body with and ghost his fingers over her skin like they were tasting it, sampling it's softness and texture. He firmly grasped her breasts as he licked from her collarbone up to her jawline and started kissing and sucking on her neck. I gasped when he fondled my breasts while licking and sucking my spot. I felt my core start to moisten as I watched as well as felt everything he did to me.

I watched and felt him ghost one of his hands down my stomach towards my core. When his hand made contact he started rubbing it making me arch my back moaning. Everything felt so much more intense. It felt like an outter body experience watching and feeling myself being made love to. He watched too and our eyes never left each other's in the mirror through the entire experience. Now here we are laying in bed like we usually do just enjoying each other's comfort.

"I love you, darling", he whispered reaching over and tucking a loose piece of my hair behind my ear. I smiled fondly, "I love you too, bub", I whispered back and pecked him on the lips. He smiled so lovingly at me that it hurts me seeing it. He won't be mine. I know it, because as soon as she calls he'll leave me and run to her. He did a hour later. I wasn't surprised but I was still hurt.

Later in the day I was soaking in the tub to relax when someone started pounding on my door. I figured that they would be gone in a a minute but they kept consistently pounding on my door. I sighed hoisting myself up out of my Jacuzzi tub grabbing my bathrobe putting it on as I made my way to the door. "Open the door slut!" I paused, hand on the doorknob and listened. "I know you're fucking in there whore, now open the door!"

I knew it was her. I knew our actions had consequences and I knew there would be a confrontation soon but not this soon. I took a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door. She froze mid knock before lowering her hand and staring me down. We just stared at each other before I broke the tensed silence. "Can I help you?", I asked leaning against the door. "Can I come inside, we need to talk?", she responded.

I stepped back opening the door wide enough for her to come in. I should have known better than to turn my back on her because as soon as I turned around from closing the door I was met with a shove sending me backwards into the door. "You homewrecker. How dare you sleep with my man you slut!? I love him and I give my all to him but he never returns the favor. No, he's too busy being with you and fucking you behind my back to. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate you right now. You ruined everything we built together. Do you know what kind of position you put me in? We're supposed to be getting married in a few months but he acts like I don't matter to him anymore. I'm always last to you and I am so sick and fucking tired of you coming in between us. We're getting married and raising our baby together like we're supposed to and you will not be apart of our plans. Consider yourself uninvited to the wedding, bitch", she spat, venom dripping from her every word.

I felt hell freeze over. I was speechless for a moment trying to think of what to say. She smirked hatefully at me, "Yeah, i'm pregnant with his baby. My man's baby. The same man your desperate ass has been chasing all this time only for him to put a ring on my finger and get me pregnant instead of you", she mocked me. I felt my heart breaking and it hurt so much. Everything she just said was truth and it hurt even worse when I realized it. I wouldn't cry in front of her for her to throw more hate at me. No, I will be strong. I looked her in the eyes, "I'm sorry for putting you in this position and you don't have to worry about me coming in between you and Keyton or going to the wedding. I hope you both have a happy life but get out of my condo and never come back or else I will have a restraining order put on you. Tell Keyton congratulations on being father. Now get out", I said, face emotionless and voice empty.

She smiled victoriously, "Don't worry I won't. Good talking to you Octavia", she said walking around me to the door. She opened the door before looking back at me over her shoulder with a smirk but before she walked out the door I reached out spinning her around and slapping her so hard she stumbled out into the hallway. I closed the door locking it before sliding down it burying my face into my knees. I cried. I can't do this anymore. I love him so much but he'll never be mine. It hurts but that's facts. I need a vacation or just a trip somewhere for a few days. I promised him i'd never leave him again but now I don't think I will keep it. He has a whole life outside of me and I don't think I fit into it anymore.

Edited: 6/19/2015