Chapter 19: For the Better

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"Oh my God are you stalking me or something?" I blurted out in frustration. "Every time I turn around, there you are" I widened my eyes, spooked from his sudden presence.

"I should be asking you the same, you're in one of my hotels Doll.."

"Oh my God so now you've ventured into the hospitality business?? You own hotels now?!?" I threw my hands in the air. I swear this man owned every single building I stepped in. "Perfect, well thank you for the upgrade but I don't want it. I'll go grab my bags out of your room. I'd rather pay for a room elsewhere."

Killian's smirk fell from his face as I spoke.

"I'm not staying here Loren, you have the room to yourself. When I bought the hotel I put a few people on a list to always get upgraded to the best available suite. It's nothing more than that."

I couldn't believe myself. This was nothing but an innocent gesture on his end. I looked down at my feet and placed my hand on my forehead. To say that I was embarrassed of my hysterical outbreak was an understatement.

"Im sorry" I groaned out as I massaged my temples and shut my eyes.

I felt Killian take a step onto the elevator and heard the doors shut behind him.

"What's wrong? What happened?" His voice was soft and gentle as he ignored the shrill ping that the elevator made, reminding us that we hadn't directed it to our destination.

"Nothing, Its fine. You should go back to your meeting, I'm sure those suits are waiting for you to return."

Killian chuckled at this and after a few seconds of silence he spoke. "Well, if I'm being honest I was dreading gathering with the suits tonight, I am more than happy to tell them that I uh, have a problem going on in the Presidential" His rough finger tips gently placed themselves on my chin and lifted it up so that I was looking up at him. My skin tingled where his skin met mine.

After a few seconds of thinking, I reluctantly agreed. I knew that this was probably a bad idea but I didn't care anymore. I was done fighting with my heart.

"I'll meet you up there" He gave me a reassuring look and nodded before opening the doors and stepping out of, finally allowing the elevator to bring me up to the empty room.

I stepped out into the dark room and awkwardly stood by the doors, unsure of what to do. I felt disgusting and wanted a shower, but if Killian was going to come back up in a few seconds I had no time for that.

I desperately wanted another drink but running to alcohol at a time like this was something that my therapist specifically told me not to do. So I just stood, at least until the city lights drew me to the window.

I could see the One World Trade Center twinkling in the distance. Closer to me I could see the Empire State Building and the Chrysler building and just to the right of that the glow of Times Square. The views up here were impeccable, it put the view of my apartment to shame.

The loud ding of the elevator doors sliced through the silence and I continued to stare at the city for a few more seconds before turning around to see Killian walking into the room, his hazel eyes locked on myself.

He glanced down at the bags that I had frantically packed just a few hours prior before looking back up at me.

"Are you okay?" He asked again.

And suddenly those three words opened the floodgates. No matter how much I felt held together, as soon as somebody asked if I was okay, my walls broke down.

"Oh Doll what happened?" Killian quickly walked towards me and wrapped his hand around my forearm, dragging me to the sofa.

I choked on my tears as I shook my head, still denying the hurt that Ethan had caused me. Even though I was walking into that apartment with the intention of ending things, it still hurt me that he would cheat on me. This wasn't the same hurt that I felt when Bryce cheated on me... I knew Bryce was a bad person. But Ethan? I never expected it from him.

Killian wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled my body closer to his, providing me with a safety that I desperately needed.

"I went back home with the in- intention of ending things" I paused and sniffled "W- w- with Ethan" I clarified as if Killian didn't already know.

"Okay" he whispered and rubbed my shoulder, encouraging my to continue.

"When I got home, he- he had s- s- s- somebody over" I stuttered as I struggled to say it out loud.

"Another woman?" Killian's voice was flat and I started to sob again at his words.

"Yes" I managed to croak out.

Instantly I felt Killian's arm tighten around me and his chest rose up and down from the deep breaths he took. The room remained silent with the exception of my sobs for a few moments until he muttered under his breath.

"I'll kill that bastard."

Killian no. I wanted to say it, but the words didn't make their way out, not even in a whisper.

It was hard to remember that Killian was in the Mafia. It was hard for me to remember the things that he was capable of, or even imagine the things that he had done in the ten years in between.

His grip loosened and he sat me up on the couch. Studying my face as he wiped away the final tears that trailed down my face, while I awkwardly wiped away at the snot under my nose.

"I'm sorry Doll, I didn't mean that literally. I mean... I did but I won't. I'm so sorry. God, what a piece of shit. He doesn't even know what he had." Killian shook his head in disbelief.

"I- I just... feel like there's something wrong with me. Nobody wants me..."

"Doll, please." Killian clenched his jaw. "I have spent every single day of the last 10 years thinking about you. That is not true."

"Okay but how can I not feel this way? I have had three boyfriends and two of them have wanted absolutely nothing to do with me to the point that they cheat on me. I can't help but feel like I deserve this."

"I know it's hard Loren, but don't blame yourself for their actions. Bryce was a pig, he manipulated and abused you and when that wasn't enough for him, he found an additional person to do the same to. As for Ethan, he is a coward." He shrugged his large shoulders and shook his head.

"You're right" I sighed. I wasn't the coward or cheater. As soon as I knew for sure that I needed to end things with Ethan, I was going to do just that. But he wasn't just having a physical relationship with someone else, he was having an emotional one as well. This was on a whole different level, and who knows how long it would have taken him to end things with myself.

"It worked out for the better anyways, he just made leaving him one hundred times easier" I offered Killian a soft smile which he immediately reciprocated.

"I could say the same thing, I'll send him a gift to personally thank him." Killian flashed his brilliant teeth in a smirk and winked.

I felt guilty hoping that he didn't mean flowers and a thank you card.

***
Poor Loren can't seem to catch a break 😫 hopefully things only go up from here

Side note - I woke up yesterday to 150k reads on My Protector. I cant believe it 😭 thank you guys so so so much. I appreciate all of you. 🤍

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