𝐇𝐔-𝐌𝐀𝐍 | complete

- 𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽 -

TW: Sexual Harrasment, Sexual assault mention.
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Alexius Johnson | | Alex
Atlanta, Georgia

"I don't know how to explain it but,-Is it a fishy smell?" Ciara asked her daughter.

"No but, yes-like the smell can change up. Every time the smell is there I feel that my vagina is wet so I go check my underwear and There is this white stuff." Alexius says

"Is it gooey? Like sticky?" The doctor asked, Alexius nodded. "And it's white?" The doctor asked, Alexius nodded again.

( this is only discharge for the uneducated )

"Are you sexually active?" She asked "No." Alexius calmly said, shaking her head no. Out of all Alexius 18 years of life she hasn't done anything consentually but, to her-she felt blessed to not have lost her virginity in the mist.

She grew the courage 2 years back to let her mother know that her oldest male cousin, and older step brother touched her inappropriately at the ages of 5 and 6. Her mom pretended to be upset if Alexius seen clearly.

She was still greeting her oldest male cousin nicely after she told her that they would never have to see them again. His mom knew nothing about it though unless he told her and she just didn't say anything because Ciara didn't mention it either.

She forgave her oldest cousin though because she listened so she blamed herself. Same with her oldest step brother she consented them to do so. It was hard for her two explain since what went down would be funny to others. Her mom laughed when she listened.

Till this day it would still be hard to explain or grow courage to say out loud. That they dry humped her and that more than one male touched her through her clothes all in places she was supposed to feel safe at. Home, School, around family. They knew things that children shouldn't even have known about at those ages. That's why Alexius always say that children are the most curious human beings on the planet.

Her mom told her father and her father simply said that she wanted attention. She knew he would say something like that though cause he always sexualized her. Telling her what to wear and what not to where at kid ages where she shouldn't even had to experience that. He did it to the point where she became insecure and let herself go, she became chubby and wore more clothes to cover her in what she felt like disgusted body up.

She only now started to regain confidence since her father moved out. But, the cycle still goes on with her mother or when they do go around her father and she has on a dress or something he makes a slanderous comment.

Once he told her that she was wearing the dress for attention and that men would toss her around, her mother was sitting right there and only laughed. Alexius confronted her about it and she only said that he was joking. No one and I mean no one ever seen Alexius point of view and that only made Alexius wanna move away. But, she was a mommas girl.

"Alexius?" The doctor and Ciara called out getting Alexius attention. She looked over at them seeing worried looks on their faces.

"Why are you crying?-Are you okay honey?" They asked union. That's when Alexius felt a tear roll down her cheek making her quickly wipe it away and hide her pain with a smile.

"Um yeah why wou-" She was cut off by a lost of words, She couldn't even talk cause she knew she was lying. "Are you okay with me checking your private area to see if I can find what's going on?" The doctor asked, Alexius hesitated before nodding.

10 minutes later

"Is that all? Are you sure there's not something you wanna tell me?" The doctor asked, I shook my head no.

"Okay well I'll let your mother know that you're ready and she can come back in." She says "No wait." I say making her stop in her tracks and look back at me.

I swallowed my spit before speaking. "Umm-Um can you just tell her that I'll be out once I get dressed?" I say, I needed alone time right now. "Yeah sure, Of course honey you have a nice day." She says before leaving out closing the room door behind her.

She bursted into tears quickly covering her mouth so no one could hear. She didn't know if the doors were thick or thin but, she wouldn't risk it.

Everything that caused her hurt and trauma came rushing back to her, Taking turns hitting her heart with an axe. She cried for a few more minutes before she heard knocks at the door making her quickly suck up her tears and clear her face.

"Come on out of there, I'm ready to go." Her mother spoke making her roll her eyes. "I'm coming Just give me a minute." Alex spoke and after that everything was quiet.

She began putting her clothes on as she dialed
Frances number, after a few rings the operator spoke making Alexius hang up the phone and dial Nathaniel's number.

"Wassup moop, Whatchu up to lil ma?" He spoke through the phone. "Are you busy?" She asked, bursting into tears the second she spoke not being able to hold it in anymore.

"Nah not really, What's wrong ma? Why you crying?" He asked "Can I come over to your house?" She asked. Nathaniel had his own house and car making more than a thousand selling drugs.

"Yeah where you at I'll come get you." He says

"I'm at the doctor right now but, I'll be at home in probably like 10 minutes, I don't wanna be around them I just wanna get away for the day at least." She says, slipping on her all white Air Force ones.

"Aight I'll be at yo' house no later than 10 minutes, Make sure you ready ma cause I'm-I will Nathaniel, Thank you!" I cut him off

"Alright mama, I'm gone see you when I get there." He says,

"Okay." And with that I hung up the phone and zipped up my jacket before grabbing my purse and leaving out the room.

10 minutes later
In the car.

"Mom?" Alexius called out, getting a hum in response.

"Why when I wore that dress and candler said that I wore it for attention and that men would toss me around you said that he was only joking?" Alexius asked, feeling her emotions trying to take over, She fought hard to fight it and she was doing good for the moment.

Her mom was quiet before her phone started to ring causing her to quickly answer it. Once she answered it she heard her grandads voice Aka her moms dad.

"I can't wait to get away from here." She mumbled turning her focus to the window, looking at the cars pass and leaves blow as she tried her best to not cry.

She wanted to believe that it'll all be okay but, not having reassurance or someone to make it better only did worst. She had to learn to cope by herself...because if she didn't no one else would.

•

I'm sorry if any of you are going through the same thing. People can be so evil and disgusting that they know what they are doing isn't okay but, they still do it leaving you with the pain and trauma.

You're amazing and you only deserve happiness, I pray that you gain happiness❤️

I love you💞