Drug lord lover?!- J.H~Jaden Hossler

Kidnapped?!

I can't believe this shit. I have so much hate for you. I resent you. How could you do this to me, leave me, this is so fucked up. I hate you for being so weak. I hate you for not having the courage to leave when you could have. You let him use you all this time. What did you honestly expect? That'll he change one day, get a job, and stop using you as a punching bag. Was he really worth all this? I thought your kids were supposed to come first, does that not apply no more because of this new toxicity everyone loves in relationships now? I can't take this shit anymore as I sit in this fucking grass and ball my eyes out. You know, I use to have these fantasy where we lived in an apartment again where me, Juan, and Anissa would help you with the bills, and we'd all be loving and civil again. But sitting here in front of this rusty gravestone, I now know that's not possible and it's just a fantasy like it always was. Was this your story? You used to tell me about how god writes our stories. Our whole life is already written out by Jesus our savior. We're you meant to be abused, used, and criticized by your own husband everyday for the past years. When will I stop coming here? When will I just accept the fact that you're never coming back and your just a memory now? Why don't you care about me no more? Remember when you used to do my hair, half up, half down everyday in kindergarten. But, you grew tired and you stopped. I always wonder why when I asked, you said no. You made me cry, you made me look pretty with that hairdo, you did it right, and when you stopped doing it I felt my ugliest. Every line with that purple comb, Everyday. Maybe it's because my hair was too thick. I'm the problem right, how do I change?? Remember when you loved me. Remember when I gave you a kiss everyday before school. Or maybe you don't because you burned those memories away with all the coke, meth, and weed. I've noticed that I carry around all my insecurities with me. In my attitude, face, mind, and body. I'm always so tense. It's not a choice, it's just there.

"Aaaaashhhhhhhhjaaahhhhh" i screamed attempting to make myself feel better. I look at my reflection through the gravestone, the light from the lamppost giving me a clear view to read your name. Rachelle Aiara, a loving mother, blah blah blah. I give up and curl into a ball on the floor just sobbing. I'm sick of these thoughts. I push them away because they become so dark and ominous. Soon I feel myself drift off not giving no fucks that it's about 1 in the morning and I'm in a graveyard.

I bump my head on a moving surface opening my eyes. My swollen eyeballs only worsen my pounding headache. 
It's take me a second to realize what's going on. My face is wet and I remember the nightmare but I can't move my hands or my legs. I start squirming and it doesn't take long for me to figure out I'm in a trunk of a car tied up. Fuckkkkkk my life. I've been kidnapped?? Anddd I feel this sticky ass tape on my mouth. Ughhhh, I'm not surprised though, I've been falling asleep in that graveyard for the past month, something bad was obviously going to happen. The car stops and I close my eyes pretending to be asleep listening to literally anything. Two doors open and slam.

"Boss is going to be so happy, he might just give us a bonus for this chula" someone said and the trunk pops.

"Si, she's hot when she's a mess. Just perfect considering what these whores look like on their bad days." Shittttt, bosss??? Helll no I'm being sex trafficked???? Oh nooooo, SEX? I don't even know what sex is. No boy has ever even took a second glance at me. I'm 16, how did I get myself in this situation.

I feel someone lift me up throwing me over their shoulder and slapping my ass. Omggg that's the first time anyone has ever touched me in a sexual way. This is weird. But, that guy did call me hot. I don't know what's wrong with me but that statement somewhat makes me feel better about myself. All I ever wanted was to be loved. How can I be thinking this when I've just been kidnapped. I need help seriously. But, how ironic??? It all comes down to being my moms fault again, I think to my myself.