My Enemy, My Friend, My Doom | Dream

664 29 20
                                    

TW: TORTURE AND MANIPULATION, THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE

Seriously, skip if it might be triggering for you.

P.S: there is some stuff in the end that is fine, I'll mark when the TW is over.

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Dream POV

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I had officially run out of anything I could possibly direct my attention to in order to forget my situation a little.

To ease the pain in the slightest.

To numb the feeling.

It was impossible.

The iron cuffs were digging into my skin, it could be pain enough, but besides the iron cutting through the skin, it was also burning my flesh for some reason. You think the pain would subside after hours of being in this position, if I don't move it should stop hurting a bit at least, shouldn't it? No. Not in this case, the burning sensation was just flaring.

Has it been hours? It could have been only a few minutes for all I know. It's always been hard to tell how long has it been for me, even in normal situations, time is a mystery. But in a situation like this when I'm stuck and suffering, can't move, can't do anything to get rid of the frustration, seconds can stretch into hours. Maybe it's only been five minutes.

The thought alone terrifies me. How many more five minutes like this do I have to go through? The chain around my neck has found a way to dig into the skin, I can feel the blood drip down my chest slowly since the cut is not deep enough to cause a massive bleeding or a terrible injury, just enough to drive me crazy. I can feel the blood dripping down my wrists too. My shoulders and hands' muscles are burning from the pull since I've been hanging by the chains around my wrists this whole time. The chain around my neck is pulling enough to make it exhaustingly hard for me to breathe, and the chain is burning my flesh the same way the cuffs are.

Seconds, minutes, hours, for all I know years tick by. I'm going insane. The room I'm in is pitch black. Even though my eyes are open I can't even see my own body. My brain is my worst enemy, I've gone through any thought I can at the speed of light a hundred times already, and now my brain is dead-set on only reminding me of the pain. It keeps repeating over and over "I can't do this anymore, please make it stop, let me leave." But I can't even say that out loud. I have a cloth shoved down my throat which doesn't help me at all considering it's already hard enough to breathe, and to top it off, there is something latched around my mouth and head that keeps the cloth in my mouth secured and stops me from opening or moving my jaw; I haven't seen what it looks like, and I honestly don't think I want to know. I can feel its straps going behind my head and one over my head to latch to the back and that's enough.

I try to move again, causing myself more pain than relieving any. What the hell did I do to deserve this?! I try to stop the thought, I know this is what will drive me insane, this is how it starts. 'I don't deserve this, I'm here for no reason, it's just unfair, repeat this...'

I fail, fail again, in my brain I'm rethinking all my life decisions. I try again "I'm in the right! I can't let this get to me!" a voice answers back "but surely, I could do it differently so I wouldn't end up like this." That's it. I'm gonna be my own downfall. I know it.

I keep arguing back, trying to ignore the pain and keep breathing. I pull myself up with my aching hands, making the cuffs dig a bit deeper but also making it easier for me to breathe. Soon I'm out of energy and I stop trying again, choking on air as the chain around my neck burns me again and it feels as fresh as the first time. How long have I been doing this? Hours? Days? There's just no way to say.

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