Demons (phan)

Chapter 9

(Phil's POV)

I wake up and look over to see Dan laying beside me, his hair curly and his body clotheless. I quietly unwrap myself from his grasp and walk to my bathroom to take a shower.

I don't want to wash him off of me. I want his sweat and smell to stay with me forever, but if I never showered I'm sure my parents would kill me before my time is up.

I step under the hot water and reach up to my hair, only to put it down to see clumps of it fallen out. The doctor said that my hair shouldn't start to fall out until later, but every case is different, and mine is a bit worse than usual.

I comb through my hair, when I leave the shower, only a few strands are left. I look like Dobby so I cut the last of my hair, feeling tears in my eyes when I look at my reflection. All my jet black hair, down the drain. As stupid as it may sound, that was one of the only features I liked about myself.

I exit my bathroom and head back into my room, slipping on some clothes just as Dan wakes up.

Tears fall onto my cheeks as he stares up at me wide-eyed.

"Hello beautiful, looks like the chemo is kicking in?"

"Dan," I give him a huge hug, hiding my crotch when I see he's still naked. "God, I swear you're the best person."

"I know," Dan does a hair flip and I chuckle.

"I love you." I give him a kiss and he says he loves me back.

We head down the stairs to eat breakfast after Dan changes, even though the last thing I want to do right now is eat. I complain to Dan, but he sits on me and won't let me leave.

"Dan plea-" he stuffs a spoon of cereal into my mouth, forcefeeding me my breakfast. He only makes me eat half though, he knows my stomach won't be able to handle any more.

"Phil?!" His dad calls from the hallway. He stares at me in shock for a moment before continuing. "Your doctor wants you back for another treatment, you have to be ready in an hour. Dan, I'm not letting you come with us this time."

"Why not?!" 

"All you've been doing is being with Phil. You need some alone time, kid."

He sighs and follows me back upstairs, fuming at my dad. He can go if he wants to! I need him there! For moral support, so someone will hold my hand, I don't want to be alone.

"Dan I'm sorry.."

"It's alright, love. I'll be waiting for you."

I smile and put on some shoes, taking a final look in the mirror and then kissing him goodbye. He glumly walks upstairs and I shut the door behind me, preparing for the worst.

"Alright Phil, here we go..." The doctor says as he slides the needle into my arm, hooking up the tube. "You'll need to stay like this for about an hour, than you can go."

My dad nods and leaves, and my doctor follows him. I'm left all alone in the small room, with this liquid running into my body.

The whole time I think of how much I must be hurting Dan, and the whole ride home I think about when I'll die. Soon, probably. The chemo never works.

I wonder why euthanasia is illegal. Maybe I want to die, right now. I should be given the choice! But, Dan... I can't leave him...

When I step back in my room, I see Dan fixing my bed. "Phil! Finally!"

He runs to me and almost knocks me down as he kisses me, making me dizzy.

"Dan I feel sick..."

"Its okay, lay down, love. Close your eyes." He grabs my hand and slowly walks me to my bed, allowing me to take a nap.

~~~

When I wake up, I see Dan looking at me, crying. As soon as he sees my eyes open, he wipes his tears and plasters a smile onto his face. "Phil, its dinnertime."

"Dan I don't want to."

"I want you to. Can you try for me?"

His deep brown eyes look me up and down, and I finally give in. "I love you too much." I lift my hand and he helps me up, and all the way downstairs.

When I see the food on the dinner table, I smile. My mum made me homemade spaghetti, something that takes all day long.

"Phil, I really want you to try to eat." She smiles, her green eyes glowing.

"I will, mum."

Dan sits me down and pushes in my chair, and I stare at the meal before me. She made spaghetti and bread, and there's some water.

I take sips of the water and eat most of my supper, proud that I ate anything at all. My mum looks happy, and my dad does too, and I can't even describe the proud look on Dan's face.

I would call them "Heart Eyes," how he looks at me. He looks proud to have me, proud that he can say he helped me do this.

Dan and I go back upstairs and undress to just our boxers, and we cuddle up underneath my duvet.

We lay in silence for a while, before a song pops into my head. I turn to Dan and give him a sad smile.

"Turn away, if you could get me a drink of water 'cuz my lips are chapped and faded," I kiss his nose and I see his eyes tear up. "Call my Aunt Marie, help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favorite colors, my sisters and my brothers still," my voice cracks and Dan starts crying.

"I will not kiss you, 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."

"Phil-"

"Now turn away, 'cause I'm awful just to see, 'cause all my hairs abandoned my body, oh my agony," I feel cold tears slip onto my cheeks. "Know that I will never marry, baby I'm just soggy from the chemo, but counting down the days to go."

I cover my mouth to hold back a sob before continuing. "It just ain't living and I just hope you know... That if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true. 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you... 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.."

Dan sobs into my shirt and I cry too, never knowing I could actually relate to the song.

A/N-

The song at the end was Cancer by My Chemical Romance, I could never write anything like that

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