Would I still choose you?

Chapter Nine: His story

Angel

Ezra P.O.V.

That smile, I gonna change that... 

I am looking at this guy right now in front of me named Romeo, I don't know ... I'm just wondering how the heck he know that I have big problem by just looking at me .. By just seeing me smiling by just watching me .. Am I that obvious? or there's really something in his deep gray eyes ... It's intimidating so intense it looked as if you were staring straight at the universe na para bang pag tumitig kapa mahuhulog ka at malulunod at wala ng bawian pa ... But you know what I like about his eyes you can see the honesty the care the sincerity and just ... amazing there's so much life in his eyes it makes me want to look deeper to see if there's more to it ... kung ibang babae lang ako kung hindi ako si Ezra na baliw na baliw kay Rein  probably! I'll be doomed, probably I'll be bend down on my knees and will ask for more attention  He's a greek God! na nakikihalubilo sa mortal na tao darn! inobserbahan ko ang buong katawan nya he's wearing three piece suit black and yeah by just observing him it's obvious that he's belong at business world, and kahit na balot sya ng damit nya I know there's something even more good beneath those clothes ... agad kong pinilig ang ulo ko para maalis ang kung anu mang tumatakbo sa utak ko, marahil dala ng alcohol. Huminga akong malalim at tiningnan sya at pilit na ngumiti.

Thanks ... You know, I'm not being rude or anything it just that ... you are so bluff and fast you know kaka meet lang natin and ngayun palang tayu nag kakilala I'm not assuming or what but uhm ..

Bahagya akong tumigil at nangapa ng ng salita.

My heart, body and soul is already belong to someone else ...

Marahan kong sinabi at tiningnan syang daretso para kahit sa mata ko man lamang makita nyang nag sasabi ako ng totoo at hindi nag papalusot o umiiwas sa maaring manyari. He chuckled and that gave me a relief at sabay kaming napa iling.

Is he belong to you?

He asked and it's a big slap on my face, those words is a big punch on my heart, napayuko at nag kagat labi para mapigilan ang nag babadyang luha saaking mga mata shit!! oo nga! kanya ako .. akin ba sya? shit! ang sarap mag mura ang sarap mag sisigaw nag bara ang aking lalamunan at hindi nakasagot agad nag iinit ang gilid ng mata ko sa hapdi ng nararamdaman ko sa dibdib ko putcha! bat ganto! ang sakit naman ... parang ayun lang sinabi ni Romeo pero ang sakit sakit naman agad?

I guess silent doesn't always says yes hmm?

Seryosong sagot nya sa sarili nyang tanong, napatingin ako sakanya at marahang tumango, tiningnan ko sya at nakita kong nag iigting ang panga nya.

You know what I'm gonna share you something and I want this story to stay between you and me, is that ok? Hindi ko to na kwento kahit kanino, I just want to keep it by my self, I want to feel all the pain all by my self, but I feel like spitting it out tonight. I guess someone would finally understand. Do you mind?

He said nakita kong pumungay ang mata nya na para bang sariwa padin ang sugat ng kung anu mang gusto nyang sabihin.

No! no .. I mean of couse it's ok .. Mabilis na sagot ko sakanya at umupo ng maayos. Ngumiti sya saakin at umupo din ng maayos at tinabingi ang ulo nya na lalong nag pa depina sa perpekto nitong panga.

I was in grade five when I first saw her, it's like a love at first sight, silly right?

Nakangiti habang umiiling na panimula nya, na parang bang nahihirapan syang paniwalaan nanyari talaga sakanya ang salitang "love at first sight" 
She was angelically sitting on my school garden that full of different flowers that day, she was like an angel dropped from heaven because of the sin that she did not commit, she was crying silently, wiping her own tears gently with her soft and beautiful hands, and instead na mag lakad ako palapit sakanya para tanungin kung ok lang sya ay nag stay lang ako sa likod ng puno at pinanuod syang umiyak mag isa hanggang sa matapos sya, at duon ako nag lakas loob na lumapit sakanya when her beautiful eyes met mine a adorable and sweet... sweet... smile flash on her face and that stabbed my heart! How can I manage to watch her suffering all alone then ma tapos nyang mag suffer ay saka lang ako lalapit para pakitaan nya ng napakagandang ngiti, she got this smile that only heaven can make. I feel like I don't deserve it. I don't deserve that kind of smile and that very day I promised to her that I will do everything for her not to cry, not a single tear will escape on those angelic eyes, and those smile will stay forever...
He said while smiling sweetly and it's like na inaalala nya yung mga ngiting sinasabi nya at agad na ininom ang isa pang shots na nasa harap nya. the suddenly pain, bitterness and regrets flash on his face, nakita kong namula ang mga mata nya at humigpit ang pag kakahawak sa baso.
Fifteen damn years ko syang inalagaan pinahalagahan! fifteen perfect years!! and it only took one wrong move! it took one fvcking accident to end everything! she save this dumb lady wondering around! one wrong move and everything fade away ... everything fall apart, I wish I held her tighter ... I guess na realize ng Diyos na nag pababa sya ng isang napakabuti at perpektong anghel na hindi pwedeng makihalubilo sa tao, na pinihiram lang nya saakin ito at masyadong akong nahumaling kaya binawi ..

He said bitterly.

And guess what her last word, stay the way you're, keep treating people the way you treat them normally, do everything to make people smile the way you want them to smile ... damn!!! hanggang sa huli, hanggang sa kahuli hulihan nyang hininga ibang tao parin ang nasa isip nya. pakiramdam ko nag kulang ako, na kulang pa yung panahon na ibinigay saakin, na hindi ko pa na ibibigay ang lahat ko sakanya, and her last word ... I'll keep it, at least to satisfied this guilt covering my whole heart, I already know and experienced what the perfect smile is ... so maybe that's the reason your broken smile caught my attention.

Namumula ang mga mata nya at nakatingin sa malayo na parang nag pipigil ng luha, ako naman ay nag pupunas na ng luha hindi ko napigilan! nakakaiyak! masyadong masakit yung story nya panu kung ganun nanyari sakin panu kung si Rein ang mawala sakin shit di ko kaya! baka mabaliw naman ako natatawang bumaling sya saakin at ginulo ang buhok ko patuloy naman ako sa pag hagulhol dama ko e!! damang dama! ang lalim naman kasi ng hugot nya! tagos e! masarap kasama si Romeo mabilis na gumaan ang loob ko sakanya at alam kong mapagkakatiwalaan syang tao marahil siguro na pareho kaming bigo sa pag ibig kaya ganito nalang kagaan ang loob ko sakanya, ganto ba talaga? Sa kwento ni Romeo na realize ko na may mga bagay na akala mong sayo na, pero hindi pa pala, na may mga bagay na ibinigay na sayu pero kaylangan mo pag ingatan dahil maaring sa isang iglap maglaho ito at may mga bagay naipinahiram lang saiyo at kahit anung gawin mong pag laban at protektahan para hindi na makuhang muli ay mababaliwala lang, dahil ipinahiram lang ito para maranasan mo at masabi mo na kahit isang beses sa buhay mo, naramdaman at nalaman mo kung anu ang perpekto, at ang kaalaman at karanasan na ito ang mag gagabay sa iyo sa  susunod pang pag subok na darating sa buhay mo.