Isn't She Lovely? (1D Fanfic)

Chapter Thirty

February 1st, 2015

                It’s been 3 years. Three long years. The struggle of it keeps me awake at night no matter how much time has passed. I will never be able to accept that he is officially gone. Today he would be 21, and it hurts more than it should. Every birthday that has gone by without him here to celebrate always has a part of me that dies along with him. What made this birthday the hardest? Was it because he was 21? Or was it because of how long he’s been gone? I never thought of an actual answer.

                Darcy was calling for me from her new room and I slowly stood up from the one place where I just sit and think about what Harry would be doing with his life right now; what we would be doing with our lives right now.

                I walk into her room and see her playing with her Barbie dolls on her bed and bouncing up and down all giggly and happy. Darcy has accepted this more than I have; I think it’s because of her age so she doesn’t quite understand. Her curls are bouncy with her and she turns around to smile up at me, “Mommy we get to go visit Daddy today right?” she asked as she kicked her legs to the side and set her Barbie’s down.

                I sucked in a sharp breath and then put on my happy mask, “You know we are. We do this every year, sweetie.” I blink back the tears and smile at her before she comes up to me and hugs me really tight.

                I bend down to hug her back, and I squeeze her so tight that she actually asks me to loosen my grip on her, before I take a step back and look at her, “What do you want to wear?”

                “Hmm…” She walks over to her closet and pulls on her light blue dress with sleeves and a bowtie on the neckline. “Can I wear this one?” She asks.

I nod and smile, “Whatever you want.”

“I picked this because I know Daddy would think I looked beautiful in it.”

I took another sharp breath in and looked at her, “No darling, he would say how lovely you look in it.” I instantly think back to a conversation that I had with Harry a few years ago.

"Sing to me tonight...please?" I asked. Harry loved to sing, no matter how much he wouldn't show it, I knew he did. His voice lit up the room and everyone would definitely stop to listen to him. Only on special occasions would he actually sing me to sleep. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when he would.

"I don't know, love." He sighed. I turned my body so that our chests were touching, and that my right hand was on holding his neck while staring into his eyes.

                "Please?" I asked with lots of love. He smiled again, and I knew I had him.

"It's impossible to say no to you," He kissed me once more before I put my face into the crook of his neck and took in his scent. Under the covers I saw his hand go to grab my waist to pull me closer to him, and yes, he was clothed. Or wearing boxers, at least. I've learned that when Harry is really "in the mood" he wears boxers so that way I don't freak out that he'll try something. We haven't quite gotten there yet, but to be honest, I'm practically dying to. I have no problem sleeping with him naked either; it's just one of those things that I'm used to.

                When we first started dating and he would sleep over and such, he would respect me and actually wear pajamas. That's how I knew I'd want him mine forever; he respected me.

"Isn't she lovely?" Harry's singing interrupted my thoughts, but in a good way. I sighed in pleasure as his voice rang through my ears. "Isn't she wonderful? Isn't she precious? Less than one minute old," He stopped to kiss my cheek before going on. "I never thought, through love we'd be, making one as lovely as she. But isn't she lovely made from love." I felt him smile and I looked up.