Hold your Hand || Johnny Cade x Reader

⚡ it feels like nothing ⚡

Johnny'd sat in silence on the Curtis couch, mind wandering, humming a familiar song.

"Don't tell me that's that cheesy Beatles song," Ponyboy scoffed from the kitchen.

"It's a... cool song," Johnny sighed.

"Thought ya hated it."

Johnny shrugged, even though Ponyboy couldn't see.

Ponyboy walked into the living room. "What's got you all worked up, Johnnycake?"

"Nothin'." He tapped his fingers in time to the music.

Ponyboy raised an eyebrow. "How was your walk with [Y/N]?"

Johnny paused, then shrugged. "Fine."

"What did ya-"

"We just talked. I dunno."

He tried to keep humming and thinking, but after a few moments, Ponyboy interrupted. "You sure you alright?"

Johnny sighed. "Yes."

"Okay, just, let us know if you need anything?"

"...Yeah."

***

Why'd you go and say such a stupid thing? [Y/N] demanded of herself as she embarrassedly hurried away. You have a boyfriend. You can't just do things like that. She wondered why she kept using Billy as an excuse. She didn't even care about Billy anymore.

And- speak of the devil- when she got home, the person waiting in her driveway was none other than Billy. Again. Hadn't she told him to leave her alone last night? Hadn't he known she'd meant forever?

"Hey, darlin'." Billy joined her as she walked up to the front door.

"Billy, I told you to leave me alone." He followed her inside; there was no point in trying to stop him. 

"You still mad at me?"

[Y/N] whirled around, halfway up the staircase. "Yes. It doesn't just- just go away. I'm really upset about-"

"Jeez, I was just coming to ask you to come to that party with me tonight. Wasn't countin' on being yelled at."

[Y/N] stared at him for a moment more, then turned away in disgust. They'd reached her bedroom by then. 

"C'mon, really. What are ya still so mad about?"

"I'm mad about what you did to Johnny!" she yelled. He didn't deserve to have it explained to him over and over. But she was too angry to care about common sense. 

"Oh. Really? Still, baby?" He sounded genuinely surprised. "I do stuff like that all the time."

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't."

Billy slipped her hair over her shoulder from behind. His fingertips on her neck just made her squirm. "You've never acted like this before. Why do you care, huh? Why do you care about Johnny?"

Why do I care about Johnny? [Y/N] was going to give Billy an answer, but suddenly she realized that she couldn't tell him anything. She sat on her bed and screwed her eyes shut, trying to forget that Billy was there, trying not to cry. 

"...[Y/N]?"

She sniffled and shrugged. "I'm- I'm sorry, Billy-"

Billy took a step closer to her. "What do you mean?"

But he didn't pry any further as her tears began to rush freely; she buried her face in her hands, her breath came in gasps, and Billy took a seat beside her, wrapping his strong arms around her and holding her tight as she cried. 

Except it didn't feel comforting. It didn't feel like anything. It was nice to have something to cry into, she supposed, but she wasn't comforted at all. She felt weird, crying into Billy, so she forced herself to stop after a few moments, pulling herself away from him. 

She felt guilty now, especially seeing Billy's look of genuine concern. Yet she couldn't keep this up forever. Going with Billy and dreaming about Johnny...

"You alright?"

[Y/N] wiped her nose. "Yes. No." She fingered the same pillow she had when Johnny had come over. "It's just, I feel like, maybe we need to stop seeing each other?" She winced. 

"What?" He grabbed her shoulders, holding her at arm's length and trying to look her in the eyes- but she wouldn't meet his gaze. 

"I said I'm breaking up with you." She murmured the words, finally daring to look at Billy. His face was set in a very cool, calm anger, which truly scared her. 

"So that's what this is all about?" He stood, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to her feet alongside him. "It's because you- you've been seeing him, haven't you?"

"No!" [Y/N] yelled, pulling her hand out of his grasp. "No. I promise I- I haven't." And it was the truth, yet the tears started anew. 

Billy spoke through his teeth. "You adulteress. You backstabbing witch."

He left, and [Y/N] fell to the floor, crying again. It wasn't what Billy had said, or what she had done; it was everything. Holding Johnny's hand, crying into Billy, defending Johnny when no one else would, falling for him and doing what she thought was the right thing but now she had no clue...

Backstabbing witch. 

She hadn't cheated on Billy, but she'd come close enough. With nothing at all she could do to fix this mess, and not trusting herself to do anything anyway, she leaned against the bed and cried until she couldn't anymore.