Our Son

Chapter Two- Talk To Me

Tony wakes up from a frequent nightmare: him ending up alone in the entire world after he himself caused his loved ones' death.

He notices he's sweating and slightly trembling. He closes his eyes and counts to 20.
Steve taught him that, he learned it when he had nightmares too, about losing Peter. It started right after the day they adopted him. That means it happens for 2 years now.
Tony's happens since he became Ironman.
Also happening for years.
But they're helping each other, they'll get better..

He also notices his lover is not there. He checks the hour and it's 4:30 in the morning. He gets up, it's not like he's getting any sleep and he needs to know where Steve is.

He goes to check on Peter and his heart melts and breaks at the same time over the view: Peter fondly sleeping in Steve's chest, who looks like is sleeping what he hasn't slept in years. He lets out a smile, completely in love.

-FRIDAY, take a picture of this and download it on my phone, please.

-Of course, Boss.

-And change the lights on the picture.

-Certainly.

-Thanks.

Now, however, he thinks what had happened. Maybe Peter had a nightmare and Steve heard him. That's not good. He hopes he can talk with Peter about what happened and about putting that son of a bitch in jail.

He goes to the kitchen to drink some water and watch the sun rise and think about some things. How he should act with Peter and all of that.

He doesn't know how long he stays there, but the sun starts to rise.

He starts getting the breakfast ready for when they wake up. He won't eat any, however. In situations like this, he can't control his anorexia. He just doesn't have any reasons to eat. He doesn't deserve any food, he let his son be...

He can't even think of the word. It's terrifying.

And now he's having a panic attack.

He tries to think about something good in his life, something he's grateful for. But it's so hard even though he's life is basically perfect in the eyes of most people. And he does have everything he could ask for, but still, one part of him is always missing.

After what if felt like forever, he can finally breathe again and calm down. And returns to the preparation of the breakfast.

*****

Steve wakes up from the best sleep he's ever had in a long long time. He feels great. But then he remembers what had happened to his son and feels like he wants to die. But, for now, he can pretend nothing is going on, for Peter's sake he thinks.

He looks down and Peter still hasn't moved, fondly asleep in his arms. He smiles and kisses his head for a while. Then, puts him in a more comfortable position and kisses his forehead.

He goes to their bedroom but Tony isn't there. And that's when he knows he didn't get much sleep either.

*****

-Tony?

-Hi.. Good morning.

-What are you doing up?

-I can't sleep longer than that..

-Nightmare?

-Yep, nothing new, nothing to worry about.

Steve comes closer to him and says in a lower and kind of broken voice.

-I'm always worried about you..