Our Son

Chapter Eight- Let Me Go, I Deserve It

Bruce finally arrives.

-Tony, what happened!?

-He.. he tried to kill himself.. Please, just.. just hurry.

-Jesus... Okay..

After what it felt like forever, Bruce fixes Peter and gives him something to wake up, but he's still unconscious.

They both sit down on the bed, besides Peter, holding his hands.

-Is he gonna make it? (Tony says basically whispering)

-Tony...

-No, Steve, we gotta know.. Bruce?

-Look, I... the cuts... were everywhere and were very bad, it looks very bad. I really don't know. We'll have to wait. I'm.. I'm so sorry..

-Oh my god... (Steve says, falling apart once more, getting closer to his son and crying on his chest)

Tony just stands there.

They all slept there in case Peter wakes up.

Tony had a nightmare about what happened that day. Steve couldn't sleep.

Around 6 a.m, a miracle happened.

-Dads?

They both get up really fast.

-Peter! Peter! My baby! Thank God! (Tony)

Steve doesn't say anything, he just hugs his child tighter than he ever had, kissing his head and loudly crying. Tony joins them.

-Oh, baby... My baby.... I was so scared... Jesus Christ! My baby.... It's okay now, you're okay, I've got you. (Steve)

-I'm sorry, Pops, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

-Cub... No need to apologize, okay? We're just glad you're... you're alive... But, God! You scared the shit out of us! We thought you were dead. Seeing you like that... It's.... It's the worst thing for a parent to see.. Please, don't ever do that again, please... Peter....

They just cry.

After a long time, they can let go of the hug and look properly at their son.

-Peter... I... I don't know what to say.. (Tony)

-Me neither..

-What... What were you thinking? Why would you do that?

-I wasn't... I wasn't trying to...

-Then what the hell was that, Peter? We almost lost you! You.... Fuck!! I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, I'm not helping. I'm sorry.

And he just leaves the room.

*****

Tony goes to Peter's bedroom. His bed is filled with blood. It makes him sick to his stomach.

-God... Why would you do this to me, kid..

He takes out the sheets and put them in the washing machine and goes back.

He notices there are what it seems to be two letters on Peter's desk. It has Steve's and Tony's name each.

He gets the one with his name. The letter also has blood on it.

He opens it and already starts to cry when he noticed what this was about.

"Hi, Daddy. I'm sorry for what you saw today. I'm sorry for the horrible scene I made you and Dad see. I'm really sorry for doing this to you two.
But I had to, I really had to. I can't take this pain anymore. It hurts getting up from bed, it hurts when I look myself in the mirror, it hurts seeing what my depression does to you.
I'm a burden, I didn't deserve to be adopted. I'm a waste of money and space. I don't want to be alive anymore. After everything I've been through.
Daddy, you are the most selfless person I've ever met. You take care of those in need even if they don't deserve the attention or don't want to receive it. You have such a beautiful soul and I'm sorry that you have to go through the nightmares every night. I'm sorry for being such a burden to you.
But... I really hate myself.. Always have. Specifically after Aunt May died... and there's nothing that will be able to fix me.
I hope you and Dad can get another child, because you deserve it and you're the best parents in the whole world. And I didn't do what I did because I don't feel you love me, on the otherside, I know that and that's why I have to do this. So I can spare you from more pain.
Thank you for always being there for me, thank you for loving me and for always supporting me. I love you more than anything and I'm gonna miss you.
I hope you can be okay one day.
Take care of Pops for me.
With love,
Underoos"