Fresh, red, slightly swelling cuts on her arm that looked like a wooden dummy that has been slashed with a blade for so long that there are cuts over cuts over cuts.
"..." Miko looked down, not moving her head for even an inch after I asked her the question.
I frowned a bit as I kept looking at her.
"You know, it's not bad to vent out once in a while. I can be your outlet if you want to talk about it-"
"Why would I even do that...?" She asked as her voice wavered a bit.
"Why would I even bother letting my friends, let alone you, a guy that has just known us for 5 days, know about my problems?"
"Because bottling up your feelings for an extended period of time is not good." I said as I released her arm.
"But bottling up my feelings is better for me, 'cause then, nobody would get hurt-"
"But we'd get hurt knowing you're suffering in the inside. Have you ever considered what WE feel about your situation?"
"...That's enough..." She said as she clenched her fists and looked down.
"Hmm?"
"Enough with the flattery!" She said as she looked me in the eyes.
I narrowed my eyes a bit.
"I'm not flattering you. I'm just telling the truth."
"It's useless anyway...even if I vent my problems to you...sniff...nothing will change...nothing at all."
"And why do you think so?"
"Sniff...I mean...All I am is just a dumb bitch...I'm nothing but a toy for men...and most of all, don't you all see me as some sort of joke? Some sort of punching bag that you all can punch anytime if you want? I mean...I wouldn't mind if this kept going.-"
"Stop it, Miko."
"...Stop it, Shiro..." She grabbed her right arm as her voice wavered.
"I won't. Not until you're back to normal."
"Then tell me, Shiro!" She said as she grabbed my shirt and pressed her body towards mine while looking at me in the eyes.
"Tell me...! *Sniff* What version of me do you consider as normal...?!"
"A girl that keeps on smiling...A girl that talks with her friends here and there...a girl that loved to keep on streaming for everybody and is willing to go all the way for them...and especially a girl that shouldn't be here talking with me." I giggled.
"...And you think...sniff...you think venting can solve the problem?"
"...No."
"Then why...why would I even vent my feelings to you if you can't even help me-"
"But if venting out is one step towards your true happiness, then I'm willing to stay."
She widened her eyes a bit as her tears temporarily stopped even though she still kept sniffing.
"Miko, depression is not a joke. If you think making others happy can also end up with you being happy, then you're wrong. 'Cause deep down inside, you're still hurt and want to escape torture."
I frowned a bit.
"I'd know from experience...helping others does make me happy, but it can sometimes be tiring, and, at times, even depressing. Not even time can heal it, and they always say 'Time is a great healer'."
I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her close, but in a way where it was soft. I wasn't crushing her with my might, nor was I pulling her close to me forcefully. It was a hug that said 'Miko, you're my friend.'
YOU ARE READING
Misogynistic Hololiver (A Hololive Fanfic)
Fanfiction"...This is my life now..." Ishijin Shiro. An ex-soldier. Single, broken-hearted twice, and finally got his heart shattered into pieces after his mom decided to break it by "betraying" him, and now he sits there, really doubting the opposite gender...
