every teardrop is waterfall

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"Aubrey? Are you okay?" I hear Sophie's sweet voice getting closer to me. As much as I don't want to, I slowly pull the blanket from over my face and see her sitting on my bed.

The only times I have left my bed since Harry left yesterday was to use the bathroom. Pathetic, right? Well even if it is, I can't help but feel used, betrayed, angry and sad.

"Yeah, just not feeling so well" I lie. Sophie still doesn't know that Harry and I were dating. In between the sobs last night, I decided it would be best to just pretend like we never dated, maybe it would be easier that way. Then I wouldn't have to explain everything over and over and feel the pain again.

"I've been trying to call you, but it just goes straight to voicemail?"

"Oh yeah, it died and I just haven't charged it." I lie again. Truth is, Harry has been calling and texting me too, and there is no way I will listen to him try to deny or apologize for what he did. I turned my phone off so I wouldn't have to hear it go off every five seconds.

"Aubs, you ran out of the locker room yesterday, and you weren't at school today.. What's really going on?" Damn she's good. I guess my plan isn't going to work... Maybe it will feel good to tell her and get it off my chest?

I take a deep breath while trying to think of what I want to say. Dammit, here come the tears again.

"Me and Harry.." I try to control my sobs, but the whole thing just hits me like a bus again. Sophie scoots closer to me and wraps me in her arms.

"You and Harry what? Wait... That's why you ran out? Because of what Maddie said?" I nod my head before wiping my nose. Thank God Sophie is smart enough to realize and put the pieces together, because I don't think I have the strength to explain it.

"Oh my God, are you okay? Obviously you're not... Aubrey, you need to tell me what happened.."

After a minute of calming down I finally have enough composure to speak.

"Okay, get comfortable" I jokingly warn her. "Well... After Harry had that party at his house, we kind of hooked up and I ran away the next morning because I was still hurting from Ethan, but he came over and convinced me everything would be fine" I say before I feel another tear fall from my eye. "He sang to me Sophie! He promised he would never do something like this! Why would he do it?" My face falls to my hands as Sophie rubs my back so I can calm down again.

"But we started dating I guess and I suggested we keep it a secret because I knew Maddie would get angry if she found out.."

"Not smart" Sophie adds.

"I know... I just thought after the whole Ethan thing..."

"Oh God, I remember that, maybe it was a smart idea... But anyway, keep going"

"Well everything was going great, like honestly perfect, but then Sunday, he texted me saying he was at Ryan's so he couldn't come over and I didn't think anything of it, but then you know, he was really with Maddie"

"Oh, Aubs, I'm so sorry! I didn't know.."

"We shouldn't have kept it a secret, God what a stupid fucking idea"

"You had the right intentions"

"Yeah, but now I lost both of them! I will never speak to that douche again, and I can't even look at Maddie, even though she has no idea what she did to me. Why does this have to happen? What do I do?" My anger is starting to outweigh the sadness, I'm so upset with how this all happened. Why me?

"It will all work out, I promise. But I really think you should talk to Mads... You can't hate her, she had no idea that you two were together. I know it hurts, but Maddie would never do that if she knew about you and Harry, well maybe, but she didn't!" Sophie jokes and we both laugh. Thank god for Sophie, making me laugh even in this shitty situation.

"Everything will be okay.. Things with Harry might not get better, but, you don't need him. Any guy stupid enough to cheat on you doesn't deserve you. So just forget about him."

"Thanks Sophie... And I'm really sorry I didn't tell you"

"It's fine really, but I knew you and Harry were going to happen eventually" she smiles.

I stand up to hug her and my whole body just feels weak. I've experienced way too much heartbreak in the past month. I never thought I would have another breakup as bad as Ethan and I's, but damn was I wrong. I told Harry everything. I let him meet my father, someone that nobody knows about. I trusted him more than anyone else. I feel the heat in my cheeks and the anger boil in my body but I quickly switch thoughts before I go crazy again. I'm done with him. I need to stop thinking about this before I go insane.

"So please come back to school tomorrow?" Sophie begs.

"Hell no. I have every class with Harry." I laugh. It feels good to laugh. "I just need another day"

"I understand.. But you're gonna miss a lot in yoga, we're learning the Eagle Pose!" She jokes.

"I think I'll manage" I weakly smile.

"But really Aubs, I understand. What Harry did was terrible, unforgivable. Especially since he helped you after Ethan. But if you need anyone to talk to, please tell me. I hate seeing you like this!"

"Can we talk now?" I let out another tear. I just need to get everything off my chest.

"Of course!" She sweetly says before sitting down next to me again.

"I just don't understand why he would do this. I can't even tell you how many times he told me to trust him after the whole Ethan thing. He specifically said 'I will never hurt you' like did he just say that so he could use me?"

"I'm going to be honest, I don't know Harry very well-"

"Neither do I! I bet he was just like Ethan at his old school and pulled this shit all of the time. It's all my fault."

"Aubs, I'm so sorry, I wish I could tell you he's not like that, but I don't know him... You just have to forget about him, as hard as it may be."

"I wish I could just leave this fucking school"

"That's not necessary because everything will be okay, I promise"

"I really hope so.. Thanks again Soph"

"That's what best friends are for! Oh and maybe we shouldn't tell Maddie about this whole thing. If you're done with Harry, then there's no use in risking her getting mad, yeah?"

"Good call."

After another hour or so of venting, Sophie leaves and I decide to take a nice, long shower. As good as the hot water feels against my tired body, I'm trapped with my thoughts in there. I can't help but be angry with everything. Why couldn't I have seem this coming? I should've told Maddie that I liked Harry the day I knew... The pain of her being angry with me about that couldn't possibly be worse than what I'm feeling now.

Notes

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