My Arranged Marriage

chapter 10

               It's been 2 weeks since I arrived at Minna and I can't say I enjoy my stay completely. Looking at the fact that I couldn't see my friends off when they were leaving was the first saddening part or am I permitted to say second after that painful night with my husband which I don't wish to remember. I couldn't walk for two days after that, Kabir pleaded for forgiveness which I gave but I am not sure it can be erased and it has affected the way I see him which is the last thing I want. I am still finding it hard to come to terms with my "bedroom duties" and I am pretty sure it isn't sitting well with Kabir whom I have turned down thrice in a row. There no way I would escape it tonight unless I want a repeat because I can feel his patience running thin already.

              As of now though, I am lazing in the living since I am jobless but Kabir is at work now. He's working overtime because there is an increase in patients today but he'll be home soon though. I already prepared his meal like a proper wife would, I already arranged the house, dressed up, lit the turaren wuta. I am just waiting for my husband now. I hope he arrives quickly though, I miss him already and the house is Soo boring with no one to talk to.

                     Honk!! Honk!!! I heard the car horn. I guess my hubby is back.

         I rushed to the door, checked myself in the full length mirror by the door, adjusted my dress before opening the door right in time as he got to the door.

            I hugged him, welcome home, I whispered into his chest

            Thank you babes, he replied with a small smile before waking inside. I followed with his briefcase in hand.

               What's for dinner? He asked when in the living room

                We are having rice and beans with fried plantains, I replied

          Dish my food, I'll freshen up and come down for dinner, he said walking away to the bedroom

           '''.             '''.          "".  
       Uhmmm Kabir I want to talk to you, we just finished having dinner and we are back to the living room with Kabir busy with his phone(as always) and I, just sitting awkwardly wandering what am supposed to do

            What is it?? He asked not raising his head from his phone

            I actually wanted to tell you that I want to start a business since I am at home idle, it will keep me busy

          You are not going to work, he answered simply still not taking his head from his phone. It's the disrespect for me, like the least he could do was look up to me. It's making me seem insignificant and insulted but as they say"sabr".

               I am not going for a 6 to 4 job, it will be my personal business so I can open and close as I will. It would not affect my duty as a wife, I tried to explain trying to suppress my growing irritation

           Whatever the reason or excuse, you are still not working, you'll stay at home and tend to the house, nothing else. I earn enough to run the family Soo...

             It's not about the money Kabir, I just want to have something doing, I already have my capital. Why are you Soo against me working?? I said trying not to grit my teeth. My irritation slowly morphing into anger

               I said I don't want to talk about this, you are not going to work and that's final Soo stop bugging me, he said turning to his and plugging his earphone in

               In a fit of rage at his behavior, I took the phone from his hand, my voice raising in anger as I talked  to him, You don't get to decide if I work or not. For heaven's sake, you don't even have a plausible reason for not wanting me to work. This is pure cruelty haba Kabir why are you doing this to me you know I.................... I didn't get to finish my anger driven speech when two hot slaps landed on my cheek. The sound rang in my ear. Everything was still for a moment before his voice cut the silence

               The next time you repeat this nonsense or even talk to me about work, believe me you wouldn't just be slapped, he snatched his phone from my hand before exiting the living room.
            
              What just happened? How dare he slap me? Those were the first thoughts that came to me BUT maybe I took it too far by taking his phone and yelling at him. It probably wasn't expected of me, I am the wife, I should be more submissive, he probably hates being yelled at. I should probably go apologize but he's Soo upset now, what if he hits me again, I'll just wait till tomorrow. He'll be calm by then.

         I waited another hour in the living room before going inside, hoping he'd be asleep when I entered but he was wide awake unfortunately for me.

           Not knowing what to say to him,I went ahead to prepare for bed and lay down at the very edge of the bed very far from him. Thank God he's so concentrated on his phone to glance at me, it would be more uncomfortable

                 I hadn't lain for 10 minutes when I felt movements on the bed, he was moving closer, was he going to hit me again? I was too scared to run, I just laid perfectly still and prayed he don't hit me or at least he should be gentle while hitting me. Still lost in my thoughts, I felt his hands on my upper arm and I reflectively flinched. If he noticed, he didn't show any signs. His touch was however surprisingly gentle but it however didn't stay there. He moved his hands towards my chest area while his other hand moved to flip me over to face the ceiling.
       Please let this not be what I am thinking it is, how can he think of making love after he slapped me even if I am at fault besides I don't think I would be able to but I can't possibly say that to him now I don't know what his mood is.

               His lips found mine and his hands squeezed tighter around my waist as he hoisted himself atop of me. His hands undressed and assaulted my body holding a little tight and going more rough as the time passed, instead of pleasure, I felt only pain. I wanted him to stop but fear got my tongue, wanted him to stop but scared of his reaction, his penetration was the next thing I felt and was it painful? I am feeling raw pain. I am too dry, however my eyes are very wet as tears poured as a reflex to the pain. He however didn't stop as he pumped harder, so did my tears pour. I willed for it all to end, I am tired and finally he was done, he rolled off me to the bathroom which have me time to wipe my tears before he got back.

      How can he continuously do this to me??  Is there some automatic go ahead for him to rape me every single time he saw fit just because he's my husband???  I can't live like this, I can endure anything but not this, I am not strong enough to live with this, it hurts so damn much.

       The bathroom door opened, revealing a freshly showered Kabir. He went to the wardrobe picked fresh clothes, took his phone and exited the room saying nothing to me not even an apology for his assault. I sank further into the pillow and let it comfort me and soak in my tears before I drifted to sleep.
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Thank you for reading this chapter one again.
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