The lonely captain

Part 22

walking in and seeing the message from Zoe the small captain looked at Lilith and started breathing shakily. It wasn't even time and he was still scared. Lilith closed the door and grabbed his hands rubbing them. "look at me love...Im right here...you were alone before..but you have me now..." he put his head down and started tearing up just from the though of having to get poked. walking over to the bed with him she sat down and pulled him into a hug. "your alright.. your alright babe..." he wrapped his arms around her hugging her back and just breaking down. 

"I dont know why they scare me so much...but whenever I have to get them I feel like Im  in danger..." he said through his shaky breath. he had never had been tortured with them like Lilith had so why did they terrify him so much. "love...can you look at me for a moment...I dont like needles either...for me they bring back a bad memory of being with my uncle...and I cry and scream too...but not because of the needle itself...its because of the memory that comes with it...." looking up at her he noticed there were tear streaks going down her cheeks. 

"you get scared...I didn't know that was possible..." he got into her lap hugging her more and kissing her tear lines. "yeah..I do...and I tried hiding it...just like you...but with doing that I would create a bigger problem for the people around me...hange was one of the first people I told...and as soon as I did that her and Erwin made a plan...it would be just the three of us in one room...the commander would hold my hands and talk to me and keep asking me questions and sometimes it worked...other times he would have to pull me into his chest and cover my eyes..." 

hearing her talk about her fear he smiled and felt better about being scared but he still wasn't looking forward to getting them. "when the time comes how about I go first...just because Im you dom and alpha doesn't mean I wont need help staying calm..." he set his legs on the floor and grabbed her cheeks kissing her while smiling. "I could just kiss you the entire time. maybe whisper the sweetest things in your ear...honestly I dont think I could have gotten through those shots without you...so thank you my love..."