before you love me | jjk

chapter seven

*tw: mention of anxiety + depression

━━━༻ ˚✩‧₊ january 2020₊‧✩˚༺━━━

Yoongi was feeling very much like a third wheel.

He had been in the studio with Narae and Asa for only about 15 minutes, but it was starting to feel like the beginning of an eternity. They had been giggling (mainly Narae) and chatting away (again, mainly Narae) for the entire time with barely a glance in his direction, making him feel like he had faded into obscurity.

He was beginning to realise that Narae talked – a lot. Yoongi supposed that he was grateful she didn't expend all that energy on him and liked that she was considerate of his nature, but God he couldn't fathom how she had managed to keep that part of her subdued for the past few weeks that she had been with them.

Finally seeming to realize that they weren't the only two in the room, Asa turned to Yoongi from where she was positioned on one of the main studio's couches, with Narae cuddled up against her, "You ready to hear some of the demos?"

"Sure thing." Yoongi responded, suddenly re-energised to see what she had created for them.

Asa got up and fiddled with the laptop that was connected to the speakers and soon the room was filled with the sounds of a dazed, spacey tune with subtle afrobeat vibes. As the intro played out, Asa's silky voice was heard on top of the track. Her voice had a rather dream-like quality, like she was lulling you to sleep or guiding you to another dimension. Yoongi thought it was beautiful.

"Omg I love it!" Narae exclaimed.

"But...?" Asa replied after studying her face.

"What do you mean, 'but'?" Narae asked, trying and failing to adopt a nonchalant expression.

"You're not slick at all. I can tell that's not all you wanted to say." Asa deadpanned, unimpressed. Asa knew Narae's expressions like the back of her hand, it was pointless for Narae to lie to her. Yoongi watched their exchange in faint amusement.

"Ugh, you know me so well, I literally hate you" Narae pouted, "I love love love the song don't get me wrong, but like...not for me?"

"Go on." Asa gestured for her to continue.

"It only sounds beautiful because it has your voice on it. I think if I were to sing it, it would throw the whole song off and lose the quality if you get what I mean?" Narae ended her observations.

Just because Narae had the range in pitch, it didn't mean she had that same range in tone. Yoongi also agreed with her assessment, slightly surprised, yet impressed by how self-aware she was.

"Hmm... I see your point. I have another one for you to listen to if you want? It may be more your style." Asa responded after digesting Narae's words.

"Yes please! But still... I really think you should still record the song, just with you on vocals. It's just amazing, you sound so good." Narae couldn't help but push the topic, knowing in her heart that it was futile.

"You know why I won't do that." Asa easily dismissed her words, used to the topic and unchanging in her stance.

Narae could only watch as Asa loaded up the next song to play, once again disappointed that Asa still didn't seem to have any motivation to pursue a front-facing music career again.

The official statement released about ECLIPSE's disbandment only shared half the story. The group's initial break was partially due to Asa's prolonged experiences of stress, severe anxiety and depression, and it was only once they had been given free rein to explore interests outside of the group that Asa had been able to overcome some of her struggles and feel more at peace mentally. Though Narae could acknowledge and see how much Asa loved producing, she could also tell that she missed being on the other side of the glass – after all, she knew Asa just as well as Asa knew her.