before you love me | jjk

chapter thirty-three

━━━༻ ˚✩‧₊ june 2020₊‧✩˚༺━━━

Contrary to what Jungkook had told her in the studio, she did not, in fact, end up seeing him later after their unexpected kiss.

After returning to her room that night after meeting Jinhyeong, she had listened out for Jungkook and heard nothing. The next day she had been swamped with back to back meetings and appointments and the following day, the boys had all left to film some reality show in nature.

She didn't know the specifics of the show, but from what she had gathered, it was meant to be a relaxing retreat in the midst of the chaos of their lives. Initially, she had been invited to join them on the final three days when they wouldn't be filming, but she had declined on intruding on their quality time, and instead opted to spend her week's break in Seoul.

Though she felt their absence and as a result, went back to her apartment to escape the emptiness of the dorm, Narae was happy with her decision. She noted that since they had left four days ago, she'd barely heard from them, Jungkook especially. She missed his morning messages and daily meme spam, but she chalked up his reduced online presence to him being focused on being present and bonding with the other members. They were still good as far as she knew.

In the meantime, she wanted to focus on the pressing issue at hand. In an uncharacteristic move, Asa had messaged her to meet up, so they were currently in Asa's apartment, passing a blunt back and forth as the music permeated the otherwise silent space.

"So are you going to tell me what's got you so upset?"

Asa looked up at the question, "How did you know?"

Narae rolled her eyes, "Come on. You texted me to come over – in full sentences might I add – instead of calling, you rolled the weed with chamomile and you've been playing Mitski since I walked in here. You only do those things when you're sad."

"You're literally obsessed with me - how the fuck do you notice all that?" Asa asked incredulously.

"I am." Narae easily agreed, "But you're also not that difficult to read. Especially after this many years of knowing each other." Narae patted Asa's leg before wrapping her arms around her waist and leaning her chin on her shoulder. "Now tell me what's wrong."

Asa was silent for a few moments before taking a deep breath and stating, "It's Bella."

Narae sat up, anger causing her brows to furrow, "What the fuck did she want? I thought you had her blocked."

"I felt that I had moved on and keeping her blocked meant that she still affected me, so I unblocked her a while ago but it seems like she only just noticed now. She immediately started going on about how she's sorry and that she wants me back, but when she didn't get the response she desired, she started up with her bullshit, insulting me, saying no one else would ever want me and all this other vile shit. I blocked her again, but not before I had to see those messages."

Though the anger was boiling within her, Narae's features softened at the crestfallen expression on her friend's face, and her hand automatically moved to rub soothing circles in her back. "Aw babe."

"It's just so fucking frustrating Rae. It's like I'm finally in a good place, with a guy I actually really like, and here she comes again, bringing up the past and making me feel like shit and causing me to doubt myself. Like, maybe she's right and I'm actually not worthy of–"