t/dreamingof-casablancas
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It was such a relief when the bell finally rang to mark the end of the day at college that it almost sounded like birdsong; the day had been such a bore. Since it was the hottest day of the year, you had invited Regina and Kristen to come over for cocktails in your backyard whilst your parents were away. They weren't the most trustworthy of girls and you didn't really have a lot in common but they were the only ones who had stuck around since the thing happened after New Year.
This time last year, things were pretty dandy. You and your next door neighbour Julian had been best friends since he moved in over five years ago. You both bonded when you heard him playing The Velvet Underground, The Doors and Nirvana on full volume in his bedroom – your favourite bands of all time.
Your curiosity had gotten the better of you and you decided to introduce yourself. Since then your friendship had gone from strength to strength. You'd sit on each other's beds exchanging mixtapes or watching Nirvana Live and Unplugged on MTV, drinking beer and just enjoying each other's company. You would joke how it was like you even both had two sets of parents now because you had become so close.
Though you were each other's primary best friends, you also had Mila who was your best girl friend and Jules had Ryan who was his best male friend from school. The most important thing that brought you all together was the fact that the four of you were rejected from the jocks because you liked different things to 'the norm' but didn't give a shit about trying to fit in anyway. Eventually, the inevitable happened; Jules began dating Mila and you began dating Ryan. It was perfect. You spent all of your time together going on double dates, to gigs, festivals, the works. Ryan could be a bit of a jerk sometimes but generally, he was always so sweet to you and life was a dream that looked as though it would last forever... but it didn't.
It was New Year's Eve and you and Julian had opened up a fence into each other's yards to throw a joint party; it was huge, well over 200 people had turned up. Your friends' band The Moldy Peaches played a set and everyone was so drunk and high and you were having the time of your lives. It was 11.30pm and the atmosphere was electric in anticipation for the countdown to the New Year. You had hold of Ryan's hand and he kissed you sweetly on the forehead as one of your friends set off the first firework of the night. You looked up at him and smiled before turning around to see Mila.
Jules had his arm draped over Mila with an uneasy expression; you couldn't quite put your finger on it. You looked at him questioningly and smiled, urging him to return the favour but he refused. He just stared back at you blankly and then looked away longingly into the distance. This was so unlike him. You then looked towards Mila but she was stood woodenly and looked as clueless as you were. You figured they'd maybe had an argument or something, but jees – there was no need to be pissy with you about it.
Kimya brought your thoughts back to the present when she addressed you after finishing a song. "Okay, okay so a certain someone has asked me to dedicate this song to a dear friend of ours and the co-host of this party – [Your name]! This one's for you." You felt yourself go a shameful shade of red but when Ryan squeezed your hand and the band began playing the first chords of Anybody Else But You, you were overcome with emotion. And like the calm before the storm, this was the pinnacle point when life just went wrong.
"Aw man... this is fucking horse shit!" you heard Julian shout from behind you as a pint glass of beer was thrown and smashed against the patio – presumably by him. This effectively stopped the music and everyone, including you, turned around to see where the commotion was coming from. As you turned around you saw that Julian had stepped away from Mila as though she was asbestos burning his skin.
"Jules! What the fuck?!" you spat at him. Ryan repeated similar phrases in your defence, sounding as shocked by his best friend as you were but Julian just faced you and Ryan with a blank yet hostile expression and scrutinised you narrowly with his glare. You looked back at him probingly but he couldn't look you in the eye.
"I can't do this." He had muttered vacantly. Mila began shaking her head in disbelief.
"Julian, I don't understand!" she pleaded, holding back tears as she tried to hold his arm comfortingly but he just shrugged it off.
"Mila, I'm sorry. I can't be with you anymore. Don't talk to me again." You were so gobsmacked by the scene that you were literally speechless and barely even realised he was now staring directly at you. "None of you." He continued flatly. "[Your name], Ryan... forget I ever existed. You're all so fucked up." He began walking away when he paused to look at the rest of the people at the party in disgust. "Oh and seeing as though I am still co-host, I declare that this party is fucking over. If you're all not off my property in ten minutes, I call the cops." He picked up a crate of beer and left.
A tear rolled down your cheek as you processed what was happening when you turned your attention to Mila who had crumbled to the floor with her head in her hands, silenced by grief. You ran towards her and embraced her into a hug firmly; trying to supply her with some sort of comfort but nothing you could say or do would take her pain away. Crowds were still forming to gawp at the action as though we were part of a freakshow.
Amongst the rabble you heard Regina mutter "Well, that sure was entertaining." You hoped Mila didn't hear it too but as you looked towards Ryan it became apparent that he definitely had. He screwed up his face in disbelief.
"Is that what this is to you people?! Entertainment?!" he repeated. "You heard the guy! Get the fuck out! All of you!" He shouted as he pushed people towards the exit.
Soon enough the party was disbanded and Ryan joined you and Mila on the garden swing on the patio. You had wrapped Mila up in a blanket and Ryan sat the other side of her to shelter her from the wind. As the clock struck 12am, all you could hear was the sound of fireworks and cheers from across the neighbourhood celebrating the welcoming of a New Year but in your immediate environment, you were silenced. Mourning the loss of a best friend.
The following weeks were pretty tough. After what happened, no one from college would speak to you – probably because they were so freaked out by how Ryan reacted to Regina's comment. Mila spent a lot of time with you and Ryan, trying to act as though nothing had happened but it was as though you were a threesome now. You couldn't go out on double dates anymore, instead you and Ryan went on dates but Mila tagged along too. Understandably, she needed you to help her through this tough time. You all needed each other; you had all lost an important person in your lives. If only you'd have known then that it wasn't really you that she needed.
Life finally went from bad to worse when you had arranged to meet Mila at my house for a girly night, what you didn't know however, was that Ryan had decided to ask your parents to join you for a surprise too. A surprise is what he had planned and a surprise is what you received... you entered your bedroom expecting to find Mila sat on your dressing table painting her nails and instead was greeted by the sight of your boyfriend bare-butt naked fucking your best friend doggy style on your own bed.
And that was that. After hearing your blood curdling screams and cries, your dad soon entered the room and threw Ryan out on the street with no clothes and with no intention of giving them back whilst Mila hastily left in tears of guilt and shame. Though it gave you some sort of justice to watch Ryan run from your house bare-butt naked with nowhere to hide, you knew nothing could take away the pain that the past month had caused you and what made it so much worse was that the one person you wanted to seek comfort from wouldn't speak to you. In fact, it was him who had caused your pain. If Julian hadn't of abandoned the situation, Mila would have still had a boyfriend, you would have still had a best friend, Ryan would have still had a best friend and Mila wouldn't have had to seek company in the form of your boyfriend's penis. Julian had caused this and this inspired grief and absolute hatred from you against him in equal measures.
Since then the tension between you and Jules had been endless. Luckily Ryan and Mila had left college, maybe because they couldn't handle seeing you and facing up to what they'd done but hey – whatever, you didn't give two shits just as long as you didn't have to see them again. Julian was still there though and you could tell that he hated seeing you around just as much as you did. He had no friends and just dawdled around pathetically on his own, you would have laughed so much harder at this prospect if it wasn't for the fact that you did the same thing too. You had nobody.
It had been months since the thing happened and you were sick and tired of being the loner kid who doesn't fit in. You were sat on your own in English Lit class one day being taught by a sub teacher – aka, the onetime everyone can do nothing all lesson but chat mindless shit without getting in trouble for it, when Regina and Kristen – the two biggest gossips you'd ever met – tapped you on the shoulder.
"Hey [your name], I heard about what happened with Ryan and Mila. I am SO sorry, that is totally not cool. Let's have a catch up, tell me about what a shithead he is!" Kristen said in the most animated tone. Had it not been in these circumstances, you would have normally just dismissed the pair of them as irritating gossips. You had nothing in common with either of them but you needed company and needed friends. You saw your chance and you took it.
That was three weeks ago and now it was time to show case your friendship by bringing them back to the place that only 6 months previously they'd been brutally shoved out of by your then boyfriend, the place next door to the dick who was once your best friend, the place where the most talked-about new year's party that year had been held and the place where the thing happened. But this time, you were just inviting friends over and things were going to go to plan and you were going to finally seal your friendship with Kristen and Regina.
As the three of you were walking along the sidewalk towards your house you quickly noticed that Julian was out on his front drive washing his car. Great, this was all you needed. He had his shirt off and strands of his brown unkempt hair was stuck against his forehead with sweat, as much as it put a bad taste in your mouth to even think the words he looked unbelievably attractive. He glanced around as he caught your eye but soon turned his attention back to washing his car. You were so involved in your own thoughts that you hadn't noticed that Regina had begun playing some dumb music through her phone speakers.
"Didn't think this was to your taste [your name]. Kylie Minogue... nice." Julian said with a wink and started to dance along mockingly as you walked past. Regina and Kristen giggled like a pair of idiotic schoolchildren but you were too done to even see the humour in it.
"Asshole." You muttered bluntly. He laughed through his nose before continuing.
"Julian's actually kinda hot, y'know? I would so go there." Regina declared as you led the two girls through to your backyard.
"Regina! He's an asshole!" You cut her off the moment she said it. She just giggled again.
"What?! Wouldn't you?!" she asked appalled.
"Like I just said; he's an asshole." You replied, leaving it open ended. The fact that you would possibly have sex with him is irrelevant.
You left the pair of them in your backyard as they were stripping down to their bikinis to sunbathe whilst you went back inside to get into yours and prepare the cocktails. Your bikini was black with silver studs on, it was rather skimpy but it didn't bother you because you were comfortable with your body and actually liked your figure. After getting changed, you began preparing the cocktails on your kitchen worktops which were conveniently situated below the window facing out onto the backyard. As you looked out, you saw that Regina and Kristen were shouting across to Jules who was leaning over your fence so he could speak with them. This infuriated you, they knew what you thought of him yet they had the cheek to try engaging in conversation with him whilst on your property?! The fucking audacity. You opened the window so that you could hear them.
"Julian, why don't you come over here and help me apply this sunscreen?" Regina yelled in a faked overly girl voice. Jules laughed awkwardly; you could tell that he was actually trying to reject her advances.
"I don't think [your name] would want me to come into her yard." He said politely.
"Well, if it was up to me... you could come any place you like..." she replied whilst licking her lips suggestively and Kristen giggled like the little sheep that she is. He began laughing whilst shaking his head. That was the last fucking straw. You stormed out into the yard.
"Regina, Kristen. Leave." You said as calmly and collectively as you could. They looked at you questioningly but you no longer had the patience for this shit. Jules instantly turned his attention to you, looking you up and down and you could tell he liked what he saw. This was the first time he'd really seen your body so it was nice to see that you'd finally got your attention after six fucking months. You continued glaring at Regina and Kristen and the anger you felt was obviously beginning to show on your face.
"If you're not off my property in 10 minutes..." you began to repeat the phrase that Julian had stated on New Year's Eve when they soon picked up and left. You turned to look at him and saw that he had noticed the parallels between the two of you as he smirked and walked back indoors.
You were so angry you could feel the blood boiling beneath your cheeks. All the tension from the recent events had finally built up and you couldn't hold it in any longer. You looked out at the street and saw that Julian's parents' car wasn't there so he was home alone. Again, you saw your chance and you took it. In haste, you left your house in just your bikini to finally have it out with Jules once and for all. You didn't even knock, you let yourself in and went straight upstairs to his bedroom where you knew he would be.
He was sat on his bed with his head in his hands listening to Pale Blue Eyes; he only looked up when you started shouting.
"Jules, what the fuck do you think you are doing?! You don't speak to me in six fucking months and then you suddenly pay attention when Regina and Kristen are in my backyard throwing themselves at you?!" you questioned getting increasingly irate. He looked up with you with his eyebrows furrowed.
"You don't fucking get it, do you? You're so wrapped up in your own little world. It wasn't Regina and Kristen I was paying attention to. Do you think I wanted this?" He said with a hint of anger in his voice.
"What?! Yeah, Jules. YOU told me you didn't want me anymore and now I have nothing because of you!" You shouted as a tear rolled down your cheek in frustration. He stood up and closed some distance between the pair of you.
"No, [your name]. I said I didn't want you to speak to me anymore, not that I didn't want you. Fuck, the only reason I ever said that was because I did want you. I wanted you more than anything on the fucking planet and it was tearing me apart!" he said bitterly whilst pushing his hand into your shoulder in anger, backing you into the wall.
A wave of realisation washed over you as you processed his words. You looked up at him through your lashes; a droplet of sweat fell down his face as he looked back down at you with his furrowed eyebrows shadowing his deep, russet eyes. He looked down at your body, undressing you with his eyes. The atmosphere was so tense, all you could hear was each other's breathing becoming more rapid.
You wet your bottom lip with your tongue and that seemed to seal your fate as Julian moved his head closer to you and placed his hands on your sides. You involuntarily gasped when you felt him slowly place wet, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck. He moved another hand up to hold your head still as he nip kissed along your jaw line and made his way to the other side of your neck. You closed your eyes as the sensations of Julian's kisses spread like wildfire over your body. You moaned when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot below your ear, snaking your hand around his back, digging your nails into his shoulder in reassurance and desire. You heard him groan and he quickly undid the back of your bikini with ease. You gasped at the sudden vulnerable feeling of being exposed.
He held your chin to look into your eyes. "Don't be shy. You're so beautiful." He said with such sincerity that you actually believed him. You smiled, feeling so happy to be around him again.
"I've missed you" you whispered. He brushed his thumb over your bottom lip before crushing your mouth with his own. After the first tentative touch, he pressed his lips firmer against yours, nipping at your bottom lip until you allowed his tongue entrance, setting your core alight once more. He groaned in the back of his throat and lifted one of your legs up to his waist by your thigh firmly. He grabbed hold of your butt with his free hand pulling your body against his; you squealed in delight as you felt him rock solid pressed against your groin.
He lifted you up, taking you over to his bed falling on top of you without breaking the kiss. His hand crept up to your stomach, tracing along your ribs before pushing up to cup your breast, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefingers. He looked into your eyes as you gasped in sexual frustration.
Jules got off the bed and his hands went to his jeans. You raised yourself up slightly from the bed to watch his as he took his boxers off. He smiled at you as he caught you watching and a coy giggle escaped your mouth. He climbed back onto the bed and covered your body with his own.
"Open your legs" he commanded as he parted them to rest between your thighs. Julian's mouth watered and he badly wanted to taste her there. He ran his hand over the dip of your stomach and flare of your lips.
"Perfection" he whispered absentmindedly.
You bit your lip as he gripped your sides firmly and kissed you at your core. Julian felt your legs tense around him as you brought your hand down and knotted your fingers in his hair. He darted his tongue to tease your clit and began sucking on your folds. He brought his fingers into play and began pumping two fingers in and out of you. In one particularly deep thrust, his fingers discovered your G spot and you squealed in pleasure. You could tell that Julian was feeling proud of his discovery as he laughed through his nose at your squirming and reached his fingers to that same spot again.
You had enough of his teasing and hastily grab hold of his dick, firmly pumping it rewarding you with an animalistic groan from the back of his throat.
"Please Julian, I need you" you moaned. Soon enough he pushed your hands away and sloppily left kisses across your body. He firmly palmed your core before running his fingers along your entrance.
"You really have missed me, haven't you?" he looked you in the eye, grinning at his effect on you. You began to giggle but was soon cut off when he slammed his dick into you, reaching places no other guy had reached before.
Jules buried his head in the crook of your neck and groaned, "So... tight."
He pulled out and then slowly pushed back in, wanting to savour the moment. When you started moving experimentally though, all good intentions went out of the window. He began thrusting in and out of you at a brutal rhythm, encouraged by your breathy moans.
Soon the slapping of bare flesh hitting bare flesh filled the walls of his bedroom; you didn't think he could fuck you harder if he tried when he sensed your climax nearing. One of his hands took a firm grip of your thigh, so firm that you knew it would bruise later, as he took some of the skin on your neck between your teeth.
"Cum for me baby" he muttered as he thrust into you deeper. The pain combined with the pleasure of it was finally enough to push you over the edge. Your eyes were tight shut and jaw hanging open.
"Oh my god, Jules!" You screamed as your walls clenched his dick.
"Fuck, [your name]." he yelled as he shot his load deep inside of you.
He quickly brought his hand to your clit and drew circles on it with his thumb to help you ride out your orgasm, encouraging you to whimper repeatedly into the crook of his neck. He brought his head up to kiss your nose before pulling out and laying on his back, pulling you towards him to lay on his chest as you tried to steady your breathing.
He reached over to his bedside table and brought a cigarette to his mouth and lit it. His body was covered in a layer of sweat; he looked so beautiful. It made you wonder why it had never crossed your mind to be with Julian in this way before. He ran his fingers along your bare spine and stared up at the ceiling whilst taking a drag of his cig.
"That was meant to happen. We are meant to happen. That's why I had to push you away [your name] because I didn't want to hurt my best friends in the same way they hurt you." He looked down at you and tucked your hair behind your ear. "I love you... always have and always will."
You smiled at him as tears began to form in your eyes. "I love you too Jules, looks like I've just regained a best friend and a boyfriend then." You giggled in utter ecstasy.
