"What the fuck Hadley?" I am awakened out of my sleep to the sound of yelling. I groggily open my eyes, trying to take in my surroundings. I follow the voice, finding Evan standing in the doorway. I am immediately wide awake.
"Evan-" I yell at him, unsure of how to explain what happened, what he is seeing.
Damien wakes up beside me, his eyes curiously surveying Evan. "Morning krasotka." Damien says to me, placing a kiss to my temple but staring at Evan the whole time. While I don't doubt Damien's gesture, I know it is mainly to show Evan that I am his. That I belong to him.
Evan takes off, heading down the stairs. I grab the sheet to the bed and wrap myself in it, following him, my bare feet padding on the hardwood floor.
"Evan, wait! Please! Let me explain!" Tears are forming in my eyes, realizing that I am losing my best friend. The person that has always been there for me.
I reach the bottom of the stairs and run past the puppies that are barking at my feet. I find Evan at my front door, standing with his hand on the handle but pausing before opening.
"That's him, isn't it? The guy you ran from." I can hear the defeat in his voice with his question.
I nod, wiping the tears in my eyes. It kills me to know that I hurt him.
"Did you tell him where you were?" He turns towards me slightly, stepping away from the door.
"No. He found me." My voice is small as I speak.
"Jesus Hadley! You run from this guy, beg me to pick you up from the airport because you are so desperate to get away from him. You ran away from him, Hadley! You ran from him for a reason. And now he found you? Wake up, Hadley! He obviously is into some shady shit, and probably illegal! Is that who you want to be with? He's probably a criminal!" He runs is hand through his dark brown hair, causing the strands to stand up.
"And you fucked him, Hadley. You fucked him when you had me. You chose him over me!" I can see the hurt behind the anger. I don't blame him. I know I hurt him. "Why, Hadley? I was willing to look past the fact that you were pregnant by him because that's how much I wanted you. I've tried so hard. So hard to be what you needed. Just tell me why you choose him over me, after all that I've done for you? I've waited for you. Hadley! I've been waiting!"
I tighten the sheet around me, tears staining my cheeks.
"Why? Just tell me why?" Evan asks again, exasperated.
"I love him." I admit, my voice cracking. "I'm so, so sorry Evan. I never meant to hurt you. But I love him, I can't stop. I've tried."
Evan once again steps closer to the door, grasping the handle and opening the door allowing a cold breeze to flow through the opening.
"Good luck Hadley. He's going to hurt you. Don't expect me to be there for you when he does. You've made your choice."
With that Evan steps through the door, slamming it behind him. I slide down to the floor, so ashamed at myself for hurting my best friend, for being so careless about his feelings, careless with my choices. My back is against the wall, my head tilted back.
The puppies come over and lick the tears off my face, trying to comfort me. I can hear footsteps travel down the stairs, indicating Damien is coming. I briefly look up, finding Damien walking towards me in nothing but his boxer briefs. He reaches me and lowers himself, putting himself at my level.
"Who is he?" Damien asks, staring at me.
I wipe the tear from my ear, sniffling. "He was my best friend. He was always there for me, especially lately when I needed him."
"That sounded like he was more than a friend." I can hear the accusation in his voice, the hostility. "I thought you said there was no one else."
"There wasn't, Damien!" I yell back at him, not needing his hostility right now. "He was there for me when I came back. Whenever I needed him, he was there. He wanted to give us a try, even though I was pregnant with your child. And I agreed because I knew he would be good for me and the baby. But guess what Damien?! He wasn't you! I didn't love him or even sleep with him because he wasn't you! As much as I kept denying myself, it was never him I wanted. It was always you!"
I get up from the floor, storming past Damien and up the staircase, making my way to my room. I slam the door closed behind me, but I don't hear the sound of the door connecting with the door frame, shaking the wall. I don't have to turn around to know Damien is behind me, standing in the doorway; I can feel his presence.
I turn angrily, wanting space to accept the fact that I no longer have my best friend. "What do you want Damien?"
I can see the anger burn behind his eyes. "What about me, Hadley?! Have you ever thought about me? How I feel about this?! It's complete bullshit that you didn't tell me! Its bullshit that you ran from me! But it's even more bullshit you were going to let that asshole raise my child, a child you didn't want me to know about!" I can see his bare, colorful chest rise and fall with anger.
"I had a right to know." His voice is calmer as he speaks.
"What was I suppose to do, huh? Raise the baby with a murderer? That's not safe or healthy! For fucks sake I saw you kill someone Damien. That's why I ran, you have yourself to blame for that." I scream at Damien. Does he not see how fucked this situation is? I take a deep breath, calming myself. I walk over to the bed, sitting on the edge.
"Damien, What was I suppose to do? I realized I had no idea who the fuck you were." I speak calmly as I look up to his face, meeting his eyes. "It made me question everything about you, about us. How was I suppose to stay and tell you when I saw you kill someone?" I pause at my next statement. "What else have you kept from me? How was I suppose to know that what we had was even real? But also, you weren't there. When I found out, you were constantly away at work. I needed you then. It made me wonder if that's how it would be, you putting work before the baby and me."
Damien's eyes soften as he takes in my words, seeming to understand me. He walks over to me, laying back in my bed and pulling back into him. We are both on our sides, my back to his font. He adjusts the sheet that was formerly wrapped around me so now it is covering both of us, adding a blanket on top. His arms wrap around my waist.
"I technically do work in investments. When I got out of juvie, I started working for some people I met in there. They got me first doing their dirty work. One of the guys I met gave me an investment opportunity I couldn't turn down, investing in illegal drugs. I'm not proud of it, but it ended up paying off and I earned a lot of money. Before I knew it, people coming to me asking me to invest in them, some of them legal and some of them not. I do own legal investments, but I make most of my money running illegal organizations, my latest being involved in weapons. I basically became an arms dealer, getting state of the art weapons from a supplier I invested in." He places a kiss to the back of my head before continuing. "What you saw that night. He was a buyer who thought he could outsmart me, steal from me. He paid for my weapons, but then tried to steal twice that amount. He raided my warehouse and killed some of my men. I had to make an example of him. You don't fuck with me and get away with it."
I remain silent, my head resting in the pillow. I can feel Damien's breath on my neck as I process his words.
"But everything we had, krasotka, that was real."
