Be Your McLovin

In The Alleyways Of A Suspiciously Underpopulated City

You'd see these adorable McFucks.

"AAAHH!" Ronald cried as a rat jumped onto his shoulder, his squeamish nature overtaking him. There were sometimes rats back at the restaurant but not like these, these were big and stank of the sewers. They were stinky bois. They had big teeth too. Definitely big enough to chew through plastic. He hopped on one leg as the rat clung to his other limb then he kicked it off, flinging it into space.

He distantly heard the sound of Team Rocket, blasting off again.

Daylight had come and gone (see that time thing we talked about?), they had officially survived their first day outside of their respective childhood cradles and had found themselves in an alleyway, camping out till they could get to a safer spot without being caught. The people who had seen them were creeped out and took them for abandoned statues that were dumped there.

An employee working at the nextdoor bear-themed upstarter even tried to salvage them, whatever that meant. They just jumpscared them to death and hid their body amungst the trash.

See they were both exceptionally good at musical statues which was where they both gained their skills in staying still and they took a joint improv horror class which was how they perfected their jumpscare poses. Plus doing chores together like cleaning up blood was a great bonding experience. It was really good for their relationship. #couplesgoals!

"It's just a rat, my love," Sammy said as he watched the dark street. "A big sewer rat! With giant teeth!" Ronald clarified, distressed. Sammy looked over at his Burger Bride with sympathy which caused Ronald to huff.

"Is it clear?" Ronald asked as he walked up next to him and away from the walls where bigger and scarier rats could lunge at him.

"It is, but we have to move fast," Sammy said, holding out a hand.

Ronald tucked a strand of invisible hair behind his ear and smiled subtly, his giant red lips making it hard to be a subtle smile but he managed. He took his hand and they shared a tender smile, recognising themselves as the star-crossed-lovers that they were, like Romeo and Juliet! But they don't die at the end.

You hope.

What?

Nothing, let me keep narrating.

Then off they took, down the street under the cover of darkness, dodging cracks in the pavement, splatters of bird poop and branches that unearthed the cement like pros. They were making it! Where they were going, they didn't know, but they were making it there.

They turned down three streets, made their way over that street, adhering to the traffic lights, of course. And ended up in a parking lot of what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse.

"This could be a good spot to set up. A lot of space, no people," Sammy said as he turned to check for Ronald's approval. "We could make it a home," Ronald returned and smiled, only love in his eyes as his Burger King stared back at him and melted into a dreamy grin. "Anywhere I go with you, is a home," he stated and Ronald blushed, somehow.

But then suddenly there was no light, something wrapped over his head, he was pulled backwards, he stumbled - fell. "Sammy!" he called out in fear.

"My scrumdiddlyumscios Burger Bride!" he heard a strangled response farther off, towards the warehouse.

Then hands were on him, they were cold but not freezing, almost room-temperature- like oh I don't know, his own plastic skin.

He was forced to his feet and made to walk forward in his blindness.

Hehehe, I'm in danger - Ronald thought in his thoughts.