Hidden Hearts

08 - Alone Time

Josh

Originally, I had planned to spend some time with Max but it seemed he was busy, according to his text. I won't lie that I feel disappointed but there's no use sulking. Plus, Max isn't entitled to pay attention to me 24/7 so it's not something to fuss about.

I don't know why i thought college would be any different. I mean it is in terms of education but in terms of social...

Nothing has changed at all.

The only friend, can I call him a friend? The only friend that I have right now is Max which is nice. Having a friend is better than having no friends but well, that depends on what type of friend they are, I guess. In any case, sitting here felt like torture but I knew I had to endure it since I need to do well for my midterms.

I never was an early bird. Rather, I'd prefer if I was sleeping in but a class is a class and my success depended on it. It's not like the professor is bad just that I have trouble focusing at times though I am able to reign myself back in long enough to properly absorb the material that was taught that day. Still, I do find myself drifting too far away from reality that I only realise the consequences too late.

In any case, the class was finally over and soon, everyone had dispersed. I had decided to stay back a bit to allow the crowd to go out first before making my leave when there were less furs blocking the way.

Today is a rather uneventful day. Then again, it is only morning and in a few, it would be lunch but I felt like today would only be just a bland, normal day. I wasn't hungry and my next class was in the evening so I decided to take a look around the campus again. It's not my first time seeing it but it still amazes me at just how much they spent to make this place look beautiful.

God, I'm really gonna miss this place when I graduate. The thought of becoming a professor sounded tempting but I dismissed it just as quickly since I would be a terrible teacher. I'd probably ramble things that don't make sense and end up making the entire class fail because I couldn't convey the info I wanted to say.

I could take a picture but it wouldn't feel the same as being here myself.

Before I turned the relaxing peace into a sour one, I kept moving, taking in the scenery that I knew I won't be seeing ever again once graduated. I looked about, seeing some janitors raking up leaves from the grass.

Ah yes, Autumn or what we call, Fall. Though, I prefer Autumn since it sounds nicer. The orange leaves wilting and dropping from branches, reminding us that winter is right around the corner. Next month would be Halloween though, I don't know if Winterwake does anything for these events.

Then, it's the winter break. I would love to go back home and visit family but I decided against it. Mum and Dad are already supplying me money to buy food to eat everyday but I knew I had to get a job quick. That money needs to go to them to be able to buy groceries to feed themselves. Plus, my little siblings will need to eat more, especially for winter.

Maybe next year I'd be able to visit. Once I have a job, then I'd be comfortable with visiting. My thoughts wander to Max and wondered if he would be visiting his mum this year. She must feel pretty lonely without her only son. But, that's none of my business. What Max does is his own.

This was meant to be a relaxing walk but I found the silence only made my mind wander to thoughts that I didn't want to think about right now. Though, how could I even forget that? It always happened to me back in high school since I never really socialised with anyone. I'd often find myself thinking of thoughts that felt unwanted at the time. I tried to block it out but it usually found a way to creep up on me. Always lurking for times when silence loomed over me.

Yet now, I forgot it would happen. And why was that? I realised now that my interactions with Max may have lent a helping hand in quelling these thoughts from surfacing. But, right now, Max was busy and I was left alone to these thoughts that preyed on me.

I just wanted to walk around campus to look at the scenery but now I just felt sad as I thought of my family. We weren't poor but we weren't rich. Even so, having to balance work and home life can be a difficult task. So, I would often have to take care of my siblings while my parents were forced to work to continue our families survival.

God, what is wrong with me? I think I need to see a therapist but those cost money, though. And, I'm not made of gold so I guess I have to wait until I get a proper job.

Truly, I was lost in thought that I had not realised that I had reached the track field. Looking at it, I could see a lone figure on the other side of the track but it was hard to make out. I decided to just move closer to the track and waited for them to loop around.

Soon enough, the figure in question had been Max this whole time. Once he saw me, he stopped running and jogged over to me. One thing that I was aware of was the fact that he was pretty sweaty, no doubt from running. The second things is that he is shirtless, exposing his toned body so that the world could see.

"Hey, what are you doing here?", he asks.

"Er, just walking around. Got nothing else to do really."

He nods before he turns around but not before speaking to me again.

"If you want to watch, then it's your choice."

It wasn't really an invitation but a suggestion, yet I took it anyway as I sat there watching him running. In that moment, he looked like a different wolf entirely.