Hidden Hearts

11 - Calm Reminder

Max

It felt like a hectic week despite it all going better than I expected. I was scared that he would have hated me for forgetting about him but then again, why was I so scared about him hating me for simply just forgetting?

I mean, it's not uncommon for furs to forget those they haven't met in a while. So, why did that make me feel so guilty?

You know what, no. I promised Josh that I would stop thinking about this. If he says it's fine, then it's fine. End of story.

Though, by remembering about Josh, it did resurface memories that I didn't want to remember. It was hell for the first two days but after that, I've managed to push them back so I could just ignore them. Can't say I have it easy when I sleep since I can't stop a dream from manifesting whatever it wants. I'd be lucky if it were just a dreamless night but that requires me to wake up in the middle of the night at least twice to get rid of the memories.

In any case, today is a free day for me. Or well, I had a single morning class and now I'm free for the rest of the day.

As much as I enjoy hanging out with Josh, he has his own classes to attend and I also kinda want to be alone for the week. It's not like I'm abandoning him. Plus, he has a group of friends to talk to in my absence.

For now, I just want to clear my mind and I'm afraid if I see Josh before my mind is clear, the memories would resurface in an even worse manner. Once I feel that I'm fine, then I'll go talk to him again.

Though, I didn't really plan out what I wanted to do today. As relaxing as it would be to wander around campus, there is a chance that I may bump into Josh anywhere around the campus. And that doesn't sound good when I'm trying to clear my mind. There weren't a lot of options and I didn't feel like going to the café twice in the same week.

Ultimately, I decided to go to the mall that was a bit further into the town that the college was located. It's not all that exciting despite teenagers, whether guys or girls, finding places like these exciting to hang out. Girls held several bags in their hands with different brands printed on the bags while guys prowled around the mall, talking loudly amongst each other and occasionally some laugh at, what I would assume, a joke.

The mall was busy with families and teens roaming the place. The place is huge, easily able to fit 200 furs without causing crowds to form.

The place was filled with all the generic stores that one would find in a mall, such as a sports shop, tech shop, fast food joints and other shops. Noticeably, every cosmetic shop seemed to be filled with women of varying ages from 16 to 40+ years old while every tech shop seemed to be filled with teenage boys looking at the newest model of gaming pc. As for the adult men, I see them mostly crowding the sports shops that sell golf clubs and fishing equipment.

Reminding me of...

No, don't go there, Max. Don't go spiraling down that dark tunnel again.

I push the thoughts back as I continued my journey. In the atrium of the mall, I see a stage set in the middle but no one was performing. Chairs were aligned uniformly, facing the stage. There was a poster stuck on one of the walls that told shoppers that there was a show for children on the 29th.

It kinda reminds me of when I was younger when mum would usually bring me to stuff like this to entertain me. I used to make a lot of friends with all the mall kids but we never got to meet each other after cause we never thought to ask where each of us lived. Plus, I don't really remember that time all too well so there's no chance I would be able to recover any of those memories. And, I kind of have a sneaking suspicion that at least one of them may have been...

Damn it! Keep it together, Max! Today is suppose to be a day where you dedicate to calming yourself! Not making yourself even sadder than you were!

With one last scolding from myself, I push away all thoughts that would lead me down to that dark path and chose to focus on the things that would make me happy. Like, how I...

How I managed to get into college and be able to study to become a doctor!

I know, it sounds way too generic but I'm trying to focus on the things that are positive. Things that would make me smile, even if it sounds too simple or boring.

I also really like...shiny things!

Nothing too specific. Anything shiny always just catches my interests though that could be said for most furs. But what I mean is that, whether old or new, if it's shiny, then I would love it no matter what. It was the reason why my mum bought me this ring for my 18th birthday. It looks really simple and not worth stealing but when you get the angle just right, you can see it shine in the sunlight. Whenever I had free time, I would always go and sit somewhere on campus that had a lot of sunlight and tried to angle the ring so it could shine.

Speaking of shiny, I see something that had caught my eyes.

I looked towards it with interest and saw that it was a metal bracelet. Uniquely, instead of letters being engraved on the metal like most jewelry, the metal was carved to form the word, giving it smooth ridges rather than a plain flat surface.

"Hello, sir. Can I help you?", a woman appears beside me, asking the generic customer service question.

"Yes. How much is that?", I ask as I point to the bracelet that had caught my eye.

"That one costs around $699."

Damn, jewelry never comes cheap, huh? Well, lucky for me, my mum's rich and she sends me way too much money than I could spend every month. Losing about $700 won't really make much of a dent in my pocket.

"Can I pay with my card?"

"Sure can. This one?"

"Yes, that one."

"Okay. I'll package this up and bring it to the register."

I nod and head towards the register where someone else was currently finishing up their transaction. A male bear buying what looked like a pretty expensive necklace. I guess as present for his wife. It didn't take long for him to finish and soon it was my turn. The worker from before had already packaged and placed mine on the counter.

The transaction went smoothly and I made my way out with a new shiny object. Though, it wasn't for me.